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[APPLAUSE] >> China's one
child policy is regarded as the biggest social experiment in the human history.
I'm honored to be a subject in this experiment.
>> [LAUGH] >> I am one of the 150 million,
only children in my generation.
In 2015, when I first came to United States for
business school, China dropped the one child policy after 35 years.
Many GSB classmates showed great empathy to me, saying, Yourng, I'm so
happy for you that China eventually dropped this evil policy.
How could the Chinese government deny human rights like that?
It must have been really hard for you growing up without siblings, I cannot
imagine that people could not make their own choices about how many kids to have.
I really appreciated their compassion, but deep inside I feel conflicted.
There's some other classmates for
they asked, how do you view the one child policy?
Was it good or bad?
My response.
I don't know.
>> [LAUGH] >> Since then,
I have tried to learn more in hopes of arriving at a better answer.
Today, let me start with my own story as the only child.
Try to imagine,
that you are a five year old only child, living in China, like I was.
I have to tell you, that you have to spend some time alone, talking to yourself,
playing by yourself, sometimes even hugging yourself.
Because, you have to play two roles in the same time, princess, and the prince.
>> [LAUGH] >> But trust me, life was not that bad.
I had a great time,
I had great companionship with my cousins and neighborhood kids.
And I probably have to admit that I cannot understand the whole concept of siblings,
because all of my peers are only children as well.
So the idea of having a sibling never crossed my mind.
At school we were taught that the one child policy was fundamentally important
to China, to keep the population a great size and to ensure the quality of life.
At home my mom,
who has three other siblings, tell me a story about back in the 1960s.
Four of them had to split one loaf of bread for
a meal, all her clothes are pass downs from her two elder sisters.
I also heard stories from people of my own age.
The euro part of China, where the one-child policy had not been enforced,
girls had to give away opportunities for education for the boys at home.
So with all these stories in mind,
I truly believe that the one child policy was the right way to go.
For me, for my family, as well as for my family,
until one day in 2013, I was still working in China as a sales manager.
Riding a bullet train from Beijing from Shanghai,
I got a long message from my mom which was very unusual.
She wrote that, she had been diagnosed with a heart disease called HDD,
and she needed open chest surgery as soon as possible.
She had hesitated to tell me because my work schedule is full, but she
eventually decided to let me know, because the risk of the surgery is super high.
So at that moment actually I was on the business trip with several colleagues,
and also my clients sitting right in front of me.
But I burst into tears, I was terrified by the thought what could happen to my mom.
I also felt troubled how could my mom hesitate to tell me I was her only child.
I should be the person to keep company with her, care of here, and
sign under the conscious for the surgery.
But at that moment, she was still thinking about disturbing my work,
this is ridiculous.
>> [LAUGH] >> So I look outside of this plain window,
feel terrified, hopeless and as well as obligated.
And for the very first time I wished I could have a sibling
to share this fear and overcome the hardship together.
So a few months later, I get back to my hometown,
I was very happy to spend more time with my mom and family members.
But in the meantime,
I was also struggled with handling with both of her and my work.
So I'm very lucky because the surgery was very successful and my mom recovered.
However, I kept to thinking about this idea of having a sibling,
how could my life be different if I was not the only child?
Recently, I send this question to over 100 only child friends in China,
here are some responses are really interesting, I will share with you.
If I were not the only child, I wouldn't be forced to go on so
many blind dates set up by my parents.
>> [LAUGH] >> However,
my parents wouldn't be able to pay for the down payments for
a new apartment for me, which is regarded as a must to get married in China.
Here is one struck me most I might not be as successful
as I am because I couldn't monopolize all the attention and
resources from my parents., >> [LAUGH]
>> But I would be more free living abroad,
marrying to my same sex partner,
instead of living the life to meet my parents expectations.
My friends are as conflicted as I am, the good is inseparable from the bad.
Scholars have examined the one child policy from many different perspectives.
Criticizing the policy for violating human rights or creating big social
issues such as, Little Emperor Syndrome aka China's spoiled brats.
>> [LAUGH] >> As a little emperor myself,
I'm very grateful for all the privileges I've received as an only child.
Especially for the improved opportunities for women, however, I have to admit that
the excessive love and attention also creates larger pressure.
After the termination of the one child policy I had a conversation with my mom.
How many kids do you think I should have, I asked?
She urge me to have at least the two in light of all the downside of being
an only child.
But I'm not sure, since that I can imagine that my future husband and
I have to support four elderly parents.
I think two or more kids, that's crazy.
>> [LAUGH] >> And especially given the social
expectation for taking care of a parent is way much higher in China's culture.
And what [INAUDIBLE] me more is the thought that if something bad falls on me,
what could happen to my mom.
I cannot imagine what my mom would go through if she lost her only child.
My stepfather is a sociologist specializing in the study of families
who lost their only child.
He told me that now there are more than one million such families in China.
These parents generally are too old to give another birth to the baby so
they lost their only hope.
Many of suffer from tremendous emotional trauma and
irrecoverable hardships in terms of finance and also life.
So I think this helps me to explain part of my survey.
Why my generation carries a heavier emotional burden, and
he is less willing to take risks?
Was the one child policy good or bad?
To be honest I still don't have the answer, but
here is the lesson I want to share with you.
When you're from the outside it seems easy to evaluate a government policy or
a business decision that had impact on other people.
Once you move to the inside it's not just like snap your finger and
get to the answer to that question.
So I would urge you and myself, think about the big choices and
decisions on the individual level.
Consider life stories.
And when you have the power to make decisions for
large groups of people, no matter you are a political leader or business leader.
Try to take on the view from the inside,
do not let the view from the outside dominate your choice.
And this is my lesson from the one child policy, thank you.
>> [APPLAUSE]
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