You know I can speak Chinese, right?
[Mandarin Chinese] And only five dollars?
Here's five dollars
And here's six mangos
[Cantonese] Six?
Six for five bucks, for you!
And only five bucks!
That's great!
Of course, you're so beautiful!
Beautiful, me?!
You're too kind
Not as beautiful as you...
You are so handsome, "handsome man"!
Here's your change
Oh by the way, these are very tasty as well...
Oh yeah?
Five more dollars for these
Five more dollars?
Just open the bag
Gimme an extra five dollars
I've been tricked!
No, don't worry!
I've been had!
Thanks!
"one two three, one dollar!"
How many do you want? * speaks to me in Chinese?! *
How many do I want?
Yeah, like how much do you want to spend?
How much? I mean, just a dollar is fine...
Wow your Chinese is good, anyway this is a dollar's worth
How did you know I spoke Chinese?
One dollar for three, right?
Yeah
Wow, it turns out you actually speak really good Chinese
Thanks
You should move to Beijing
Move to Beijing? Why?
Beijing is...!
Good?
Yes
How so?
Well first of all...
...you speak Chinese
For another...China...
...is great!
China is great!
Oh yeah?
Very stable
Stable?
Stable
Yeah, life is just smooth and steady there
Then why are you here?!
My daughter's here
She came here for school
I see
Then brought me over
Cool
So where did you learn Chinese anyhow?
Beijing
You've been to Beijing?
Yeah
You couldn't tell?
Beijing is a great place
Nothing is expensive there
Also, home prices appreciate rapidly
Buy something for $600,000...
One or two years later BAM, it's worth a million bucks!
Where are you from? Shanghai?
Qingdao
Oh, Qingdao
Yeah
I lived in Beijing for 8 years
8 years?
Yeah
Then my daughter brought me here
You speak Chinese?
Yeah, he speaks great Chinese!
Big deal, I can speak Chinese too...
Okay, well have a good chat
No interruption
Anyway, the main reason you need to go to Beijing is to get a wife
Are you married?
Well actually...
My wife *is* Chinese...
Really?
Yes
From Beijing?
Yep
And I bet you she's amazing?
She's...amazing
Amazing
For real!
Beijing is really number one...
...when it comes to the women
I'm just talking about the women
Woman: They're loyal... Xiaoma: And not the men?
The men are...
...great too...
But I'm talking about the women right now...
You want...?
"Please wait five minutes before eating"
Yes, that's correct
Because they're really hot!
Oh, they're super hot!
Yes, really hot
Freshly roasted
They smell awesome!
Yes, they do
Your Chinese is so amazing
Thanks, I appreciate that
Wow, truly amazing
I'm mostly curious to know what this is...
Oh, that's for wrapping zongzi (Chinese leaf dumplings)
Zongzi *are* really delicious
But you wouldn't know how to make them
Oh no?
You couldn't do it in a million years
How would you know I can't make zongzi?
It's obvious
How is that obvious?!
I'm from...New York
Yeah, we have lots of zongzi where I'm from too, you know!
I eat them every day
And you can wrap them too?
Xiaoma: Nah, I actually can't Woman: Your Chinese is really good though
Thanks
Your Chinese...is very good!
Thank you
Your Chinese is very good too!
My Chinese...?! I am Chinese!
I see
You have a point
Makes sense
New York
America?
[Cantonese] And you? Are you Cantonese?
Me? I live here
You live here?
Live...LIVE!
I live here
But originally...are you from Guangdong?
Me?
I'm from Shanghai
Shanghai?
[In Shanghai dialect] You're from Shanghai?
[In Shanghainese] Shanghainese, yes...wow!
How do you speak Shanghainese so well?!
But seriously, how the heck do you speak Shanghainese?!
No, I just know a bit of it
Yeah
I like learning the different Chinese dialects
Oh cool, me too
Oh yeah?
Good
How do you say guazi in English? * Popular Chinese snack of watermelon or sunflower seeds
And red bean?
And "green bean"? * Chinese name for mung bean
"Green bean"?
And "yellow bean"? * Chinese name for soybean
I can't remember all this
I study English every day
Oh yeah?
At the senior center over there
At the senior center?
Yes, for many years now
Yes, you speak great English!
Four years
Four years?
You're great at it!
* goes off to find someone who speaks English *
HungryPanda food delivery here...
I can speak Chinese too...
You speak Chinese...?
What is this?
It's spicy soy sauce braised stuff
$16.99 a pound
Lots of various duck parts
Yes
You speak pretty good Chinese
Oh, thanks...you go first
No, I'm just here to pick up some delivery
Dude your Chinese is awesome
I don't think I've had this before
What does it taste like?
So it's like...
A soy sauce flavor you could call it
You can add Sichuan peppercorn to it if you want
Lots of people like eating it like that, nice numbing flavor
Well do you like it?
Oh, I love this stuff
So did you study abroad in China, or...?
Yeah I did
Which city?
Beijing
That's awesome dude
I had a great time
So amazing...
So is your wife Chinese or American...?
My wife?
Chinese
Haha, Chinese
Yeah
???
Haha, you do speak good Chinese though!
When you started speaking Chinese I was totally shocked!
I didn't think you were the one speaking the Chinese!
I really didn't think that was you speaking it!
You speak better Chinese than we do, haha