English CC by Charles Baluyot
I dunno what you're selling, BUT SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY.
Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today,
we'll be counting down our picks,
for the "Top 10 Weirdest Japanese Commercials".
For this list, we're taking a look at some of the most bizarre, irrelevant,
and almost unfathomable advertisements from Japan.
We are excluding commercials made in North America,
or by North American companies that aired exclusively in Japan.
Our first pick actually deserve credit for its originality.
We've seen countless advertisements trying to promote,
how milk will make your bones strong,
and maybe even fashioned you into an athlete.
According to this series of commercials, however,
"gyunyu", which is "milk" in Japanese,
has more than just calcium in it, however.
In all honesty, we don't even know what's inside the milk is being advertised here.
But if it helps you become a lion tamer, a ladies man,
and a chalk dodger, we'll take it.
Nobody just drinks gyunyu,
they drink it with style.
Can somebody please explain to me how the teacher,
turned into a giant piece of chalk, though?
Whoever directed this commercial,
did a fine job of exposing their fetish for sushi.
Here, we have two strangers that suddenly get even stranger together.
"Love at first sight" is a common trope,
but not sushi at first sight,
and if this commercial sole purpose, was to have this craving sushi on the first date.
We're not too sure this is the best method of advertising,
as a matter of fact it looks like our lovers,
skip dinner entirely and went straight to dessert.
Avert your eyes kids!
It only makes sense, that a product called "milk seafood noodle",
would produce a phenomenally, unusual commercial.
While enjoying a cup of noodles on a snowy day,
a woman is suddenly ambushed by two superhero-like figures,
one of which is dressed as a cheese wedge,
and the other is dressed as a pepper or a spice shaker.
If that's not creepy enough,
they blast lasers out of their fingers,
and into the noodles!
It seems like Nissin is going for a family friendly tone here,
but the results are kind of horrifying.
This commercial might make you think you're in the twilight zone,
as you watch an army of Kewpie dolls march into the kitchen chanting, "Tarako~".
For those that don't know,
tarako is a salted roe, normally made from the Alaskan pollock,
when tarako was served plainly, they look slightly pinkish,
much like the entire the dolls are wearing.
Tarako can also be served as a pasta sauce,
which the young girls in this ad, seem extremely happy about!
Since Alaskan pollock are known to swim in large schools,
given their conformance behavior though,
this looks less like a commercial for some delicious food, and...
more like a recruitment video for a cult.
If you thought those last few commercials felt like acid trips,
wait till you get a load of this ungodly site...
As if giving a bunch of CGI (Computer-Generated Imagery) choco balls,
chicken legs wasn't weird enough.
The creative team behind this advertisement,
also thought it would be a good idea, to supply them with live-action heads.
We're not sure what they were thinking,
but these designs look unbelievably freaky.
Clearly all the money for this commercial was spent on the song,
which is admittedly kinda catchy.
In this wacky commercial for Pucchos soft candy,
seems like the entire budget went towards paying Bob Sapp.
Hell, the production crew couldn't even afford Sapp's entire body,
only his giant head and right hand make an appearance here.
Being an American professional wrestler and comedian,
Sapp could've at least tried to impress us with his acting,
yet, his performance here is about as lazy, as the commercial itself.
We would be good money for one of those yellow cell phones, however.
Sankyo, the makers of pinball-like pachinko machines,
which are used as arcade and gambling machines went all in,
by hiring Nicolas Cage to be their spokesperson.
All he had to do was one job,
and that was to promote the company.
But, it definitely turned the tables by making his Oscar-winning performance,
the subject of all things in this series of commercials.
It's obvious he's having a blast being in front of the camera,
but the bigger question is, if Sankyo saw any profit after this?
Because these days, Cage's bank account seems to be having a hard time.
In fact, don't be surprised if you see him at one of these pachinko machines.
During the mid 90's, Pepsi's Japanese branch decided to create an iconic figure,
to represent their brand solely in Japan.
Where Coca-Cola may have had the adorable polar bears,
Pepsi now had Pepsiman.
This mascot also appeared in comic books and video games,
but none of that lasted very long.
All credit for his design, goes to the comic book artist Travis Charest,
who's trying to create a "refreshing character",
but in the end Pepsiman came off as a bit flat.
I mean, come on, a true superhero doesn't in corporate sponsors.
What better way to promote an energy drink,
than getting an action hero like Arnold Schwarzenegger to endorse it?
Hilariously, even though it doesn't take place in a work environment,
you can tell these businessmen, including Arnold,
are having trouble in the middle of their game.
We don't know what the corral is about,
but what we do know,
or rather what the ad tells us,
is that this mini energy drink supplied...
all the energy Arnold needed to give his exceptional laughs
and become the life of the party.
And by the way,
this isn't the only ridiculous commercial he's done for them.
Before we get to our number one spot, here are a few honorable mentions...
Everyone wants a piece of Mr. Banana-man,
sported a banana hairdo, a banana mustache,
and a pair of banana hands,
this guy must get plenty of potassium in his diet.
Even though his golden bananas certainly look appetizing,
we would not recommend eating the ones that are coming out of his nose.
While, it probably isn't easy being banana man,
being his girlfriend must be even harder.
Hmmm.... we wonder if he's got a banana in his...
yeah, never mind.
Do you agree with our list?
What do you think is the weirdest Japanese commercial?
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