There's a girl behind ya.
- Hey. - Hey.
[screaming]
♪ Give it up, you can't win ♪
♪ 'Cause I know Where you've been ♪
♪ Such a shame You don't put up a fight ♪
♪ That's a game that we play At the end of the night ♪
♪ It's the same old story But you never get it right ♪
♪ Give it up Oh, yeah ♪
♪ What are the states Where Sam can't go? ♪
♪ Arizona, Utah and Ohio ♪
Oh, my.
♪ There's three more states Where Sam can't be ♪
♪ Texas, New Hampshire And Tennessee ♪
♪ I'm also not welcome In Europe ♪
Can I stop now?
No! You eat every one of those bush peas.
But I hate bush peas.
And I hate that you made every kid
at this school go online and see that picture of me.
- With your finger up your nose? - I was scratching it!
But... why does me eating bush peas help?
'Cause it makes you miserable,
which which makes me slightly less miserable.
Your logic is flawless.
I'm sorry I gave you a dirty pillow
and... that your meatball tree never grew.
Thanks.
And I'm sorry I pushed you off the bench.
It's okay.
Wait, when did you push-- [yelping]
I deserved that.
I'm so sorry about your guitar and your lamp and your table.
That's all right, it's not your fault.
But--
Cat, Mr. Gibbons isn't mad at us
because he knows the earthquake caused all this damage.
Yeah, we can only blame the Earth.
And its quaking.
Of course, I'm just relieved that Cooper
and you kids are okay.
- Sam! - Wait.
[screaming]
You can not take my friend to juvie.
Why?
'Cause she's not tough, she can't handle it.
Oh. Oh, too bad.
Wait. Take me to juvie with her.
- No. - Why not?
'Cause you didn't commit a crime.
Here, let me have that.
Ah! Oh! Ah. Ah.
Okay. Yeah, that does it.
You know the drill. That a girl.
My brother got shot by a clown.
Why?
Because my brother kept poking him and saying,
"What ya gonna do about it, clown? Huh?"
It happened on the bus.
Cat. Color the tiger.
Yay, crayons.
You guys want to do something fun?
What?
Why don't you...
watch one television news program,
and write 500 words on the news story
that interests you most.
We're not doing your homework for you.
But... no!
There, Cat.
There's Ramona Patterson's front door.
Yeah, there aren't any flowers or cards or anything.
See? No one cares that she died.
Yeah, it's so sad.
Now, light your dumb candle and let's get out of here.
Hi, it's me, Cat.
Dude, where you been?
On the hood of that producer guy's car.
All the way from Hollywood and Santa Monica.
What? That's like 17 miles.
Yeah. I finally fell off when we hit a speed bump.
These broke... like my heart...
when they canceled That's a Drag.
[crying]
Don't cry, you're getting all... Here.
Boop boop. Boop boop. Boop boop. Boop boop.
[chuckles]
- Where is he?! - Hi!
What are you guys? You know,
I don't remember saying, "Come in."
Well, I remember saying you could hog Moose.
What are you talking about?
"Oh, why, Moose, my goodness,
I certainly do enjoy a fine game of hockey."
"Oh, please take me to the hockey game, Moose.
I'm ever so desperate."
I don't talk like that!
Whatever. You have been hogging Moose
- and you know it. - Moose hogger.
Ca caw. Ca caw.
Is the coast clear?
Yes, why do you think I said, "Ca caw, ca caw"?
Well, I don't know what ca caw, ca caw means.
I just want to find the shoe.
Then let's find the shoe.
Dang it. Nothing on her feet.
We're going to be late,
and we're going to miss Beck and Tori.
[honking]
Honk! [giggles]
I honked, just like your car.
Oh, let's think about all the different kinds
of honks there are. I like the one that's like...
Meep meep.
You know, like how the bird does it in the cartoon.
The Road Runner?
No, I don't like him. He's so mean to that dog.
That dog is a coyote.
Who wrote that review?
Uh, let's see.
Angry parent.
[gasping] That's not a real name.
It's a user name.
None of these reviews have real names.
Well, how do we know who wrote 'em?
I don't know but we've got to find out.
Duh. Why?
'Cause everybody sees these reviews.
We've already lost one babysitting job,
we could lose a lot more, which means we could lose
a lot of money, which means less fried chicken for mama.
Well, maybe you eat too much fried chicken.
What'd you say?
Nothing.
Grab your stuff, we're going for a ride.
To where?
To your grandmother's apartment.
But I told you she moved to Italy.
No, I called your parents. Your Nona moved to Venice.
Right. That's in Italy, I looked it up.
Venice, California, it's twelve miles from here.
Well, that explains why I saw her
at the mall last weekend.
You think she'd let me move in with her in Venice of America?
Yes. Your parents talked to Nona,
and she'd love to have you come live with her.
Really?
It's all the stuff from That's a Drag.
Sure is.
Wow.
We have to find out who did this.
I did this.
Really?
Sam, you're so sweet.
Hey, never... guess I'm a little sweet.
Well, come on! Roommate power!
Whoo!