- Hey everybody, a while ago I put out a video
where I offered up some kind of red flags to look for
to know if you're seeing a bad therapist.
And today I want to do the opposite.
I want to offer up some way to know that you're seeing
a good therapist.
Now for this video I'm gonna talk about six ways
to know that you're seeing a good therapist.
However, I know I can't name them all
and talk about everything, so if you have something
that you think I missed leave it in the comments
and let me know, okay?
But the first one is feeling like your therapist
is on the same team as you and is trustworthy.
This kind of goes back to the basis of therapy really only
works if we feel connected to them,
like we can talk to them.
That's part of what we call the therapeutic relationship,
meaning we like them and they seem cool enough
and we really think we can work together.
And I honestly think that that comes out of feeling like
we're on the same team, we're fighting the fight together.
We're working together and that is where everything good
comes out of.
The second one, and I know you knew this was coming,
healthy boundaries.
What this really means is that they've set up a framework
for therapy for you to keep it safe for you.
This also means they work through their own iss.
They've probably been in therapy themselves
so they're not bringing in any of their own bullshit
into your session.
And this is what allows you to be challenged by them
and to thrive.
And so I believe that healthy boundaries need to be a part
of every therapeutic relationship.
And the third way to know that you're seeing
a good therapist is that they are a clear communicator.
This is not only important for setting up boundaries,
I've talked about that a lot in the past where
it's important that they communicate them to you directly
and you're able to have a conversation about the boundaries.
But this also means that they're well-versed at being
a therapist and they're able to cultivate an environment
where you know that clear communication
and direct conversation can be had.
An interesting thing about this is when we encounter this,
if we're not used to it, let's say we were raised in
a family where nobody really talked to one another,
oh, we don't say things like that
and that could be taken the wrong way,
it can feel really uncomfortable at first.
But I think it's so pivotal to your work in therapy.
And the fourth way to know
that you're seeing a good therapist
is that they can help explain more thoughtfully
all that we're feeling.
Meaning those symptoms that we have that maybe have been
swirling in our head and we weren't really sure
what it was and maybe we're feeling things in our body
or having these emotions and we can't even tell you
what the name of it is, we don't even know.
Having a therapist put that to words, say it out loud,
can be so incredibly validating.
And also will help up better understand all
that we're going through.
Then once we have a name or a word to use for it,
we can get better at saying it ourselves.
And I really think that's such a great thing in therapy
and necessary for us to be able to process through it
and better understand our own experience.
And the fifth way to know that you're seeing
a great therapist is that they work with you
to develop a thoughtful treatment plan.
I know I talk about these a lot
and treatment plans are pretty much just
like a roadmap for therapy.
And the reason I think this is so important is because
it ensures they're not wasting your time.
You're not just dillydallying,
just catching up and chatting about your week,
you actually are working towards something.
And I think it's important for therapy to be focused
on the real issues, working towards resolution
of something that's been bothering us
versus hey, so how was that trip you went on this weekend?
It really keeps you focused
and I think it's really important for a treatment plan
to be part of a therapy process.
And the sixth and final way to know
that you're seeing a good therapist
is that they check in with you regularly about progress made
and ask you to see if you agree.
The reason this is so important is
because it keeps us motivated.
Often I hear from my clients,
hey, I don't feel like I've done anything,
I just feel like everything's getting worse.
Our depression can get in the way, right?
And talk us out of all the progress we've made.
And so I think it's really important as a therapist
to periodically bring up all the wonderful things
that you've done, all the hard work you've put in,
and all those things on that treatment plan that we work on
together that we checked off.
And so I think that this is a really key part of therapy
and making the therapeutic relationship sound.
And it means that you're working with a great therapist.
I hope you enjoyed this video.
It was actually really fun to put that list together.
But like I said, I can't cover it all.
So leave in the comments if there's something that I missed.
Make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss it
when I put out videos and turn on those notifications.
And I will see you next time, bye.