- There are a few rules I've followed in my life
that have helped me with everything
from my career and fitness goals,
to my relationships and mental health.
And they might help you as well.
These are 10 rules that changed my life.
Starting with rule number one,
it's better to be an hour early than a minute late.
I remember back when I was in college,
I was chronically late to everything.
Classes, events, birthday parties, you name it.
I used to think if I have a meeting at 2:00 PM
and Google Maps tells me
it's gonna take 15 minutes to get there.
I better leave at 1:45 PM at the latest.
But what about the time it takes to get to your car,
the traffic along the way,
finding parking, walking from your car
and all the small unexpected things
that sometimes interrupt our days.
The problem is that when you're late
you're sending a message
that you don't respect people's time,
that you're unreliable,
and you generally don't have your shit together.
And in a professional setting,
that's gonna seriously limit your potential.
And in a personal setting, it's just plain rude.
And the thing is,
it's really not that difficult to show up on time.
The solution, plan for buffer time
and double the amount of time you think it'll take
to get to your appointments.
And if you happen to get there a little bit early,
well, that's better than being a minute late.
Rule number two, move before your motivated.
Too often we wait for motivation to strike.
Whether we wanna pick up a fitness habit
or start a new side project,
we think we need to feel fired up to begin.
And while sometimes that strategy might work,
most often we'll be waiting
a really, really long time to get started.
As author Robert McCain says,
"The common misconception is that
"motivation leads to action," but the reverse is true.
Action precedes motivation.
You have to prime the pump and get the juices flowing.
No matter the change you're looking to make in your life,
the only thing you need to get started is the first step.
That small step turns into another,
and then another,
and it won't take long for the momentum to build
and before you know it, you're motivated.
This might sound corny,
but sometimes when I'm really doubting myself
or when I feel like I need a boost of confidence,
I'll crank up the tunes and dance around my house,
like a madman.
Whether I'm trying to build confidence
or shake off some anxiety,
9 times out of 10
I'll see a significant shift
in my mindset and mood by doing this.
You can wait around to get motivated
or you can get moving.
Rule number three, if it won't matter in five years,
don't spend more than five minutes worrying about it.
Humans are wired to worry.
According to one study in the UK,
86% of people consider themselves worriers.
And on average, people spend one hour and 50 minutes
worrying each day.
And a lot of this worrying
is about the most insignificant things.
Did I forget to send that email?
Is it gonna rain during my golf trip?
Am I gonna make it home in time
to watch "Married at First Sight Australia"?
This is where the five by five rule comes in.
Coined by writer, James Altucher,
this is the philosophy that
if something won't matter in five years,
you shouldn't spend more than five minutes
worrying about it.
It's really about gaining perspective.
Like looking up at the stars,
out into the forest, or deep into Morgan Freeman's eyes.
It's a simple, yet effective guideline
for letting go of things that aren't important.
Because let's face it,
there are few things
that will actually matter in five years.
And even for those things you might ask yourself,
is worrying helping?
It's usually not.
Rule number four, never go to bed angry.
This is a classic rule
that you've probably heard of already,
but it's been a complete game changer for my relationship.
Nat and I have a great relationship,
but we still have our disagreements.
Many of them tend to happen later in the evening
when our willpower has been depleted
and we're feeling a little less patient,
but we've never once gone to bed in the middle of a fight.
The problem with going to bed angry
is that you're allowing resentment to build.
It might seem small in the moment,
but if you let resentment linger for too long,
it'll create cracks in the foundation of your relationship.
But this rule's easier said than done.
When tempers are high
and you've got early an wake up time,
how do you actually resolve conflicts efficiently?
- Who is she?
- What are you talking about?
- You cheated on me in my dream!
- It was your dream.
- For Nat and I, we've found that the key is
to really listen to each other
and most importantly, to understand
where they're coming from.
You don't have to go to bed on the same exact terms.
You might still disagree with each other,
but you should understand
where the other person is coming from,
show them respect, and let them know that you love them.
When someone believes that they've truly been heard,
it's far less likely to escalate
and you're more likely to get a good night's sleep.
Technically, your subconscious cheated on yourself.
(laughing)
You like, well checkmate!
You got me!
Rule number five, never use two words
when one will do.
This rule, which was first coined by Thomas Jefferson
way back in 1814
has made a huge impact on my professional career.
Writing is one of the most fundamental skills
that crosses almost every profession.
Whether you're writing an email,
a report, or a YouTube video,
writing is how we communicate with others.
It could be one to one, or it could be one to 1 million.
The skill translates across projects,
careers, and industries.
And the heart of this rule
is really about being an effective communicator.
Lazy people write long emails.
They go on and on circling around the same point,
going off on a stream of consciousness.
Why? Because it's quicker and easier
than spending 20 minutes editing a short email
that gets right to the point.
Author of "Jurassic Park", Michael Crichton, once said,
"Books aren't written, they're rewritten.
"Including your own.
"It is one of the hardest things to accept,
"especially after the seventh rewrite
"hasn't quite done it."
No one's first draft is ever final.
So take the time to choose your words carefully
and give more intention to everything that you write.
The best way to be understood
or even to reach millions of people
is to say what you need to say in as few words as possible.
And now I wanna put this role into practice
with my Squarespace sponsorship
to see if I can say everything
that I love about Squarespace in 45 seconds.
Starting now.
So 10 years ago, when I first started freelancing,
I decided to build a website and after a long search
looking at different hosting platforms
and backend solutions,
I decided to go with Squarespace.
And I'm so glad that I did.
Here's why.
Their website builder is really easy to use
and effortless to customize.
You can select from a range of beautiful templates,
add your branding, and publish your website in no time.
You can easily add new content, pages, and blog posts.
No need to stress out
about confusing technical backend stuff.
It's so intuitive, a baby could do it.
Okay, maybe not a baby, but you get the idea.
Crap, I'm breaking the rule.
And you can buy domains instead
of your G Suite email accounts directly through Squarespace.
All of these features combined
means that I can come up with an idea
and publish it within a couple of days
and I can easily update it whenever I need to.
From websites and online stores,
to marketing tools and analytics,
Squarespace is the all in one platform
to build a beautiful online presence and run your business.
Go to squarespace.com for a free trial.
And when you're ready to launch,
go to squarespace.com/MattDavella
to save 10% off your first purchase
of a website or domain.
That's squarespace.com/MattDavella.
(alarm ringing)
Wow. Look at that.
Just in time.
Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring this video.
If you wanna get started building your website today,
use the link down in the description below this video
and now onto rule number six.
I think I'll slow down for this one.
Learn to laugh at yourself.
If there's one thing I learned from "8 Mile",
it's that if you wanna be successful and make friends,
you need to be able to laugh at yourself.
I also learned that you should never eat
your mom's spaghetti before a rap battle spaghetti.
Here in Australia,
they call it taking the piss out of yourself.
In the US you might say that you're being self-deprecating.
When I was younger, I took myself way too seriously.
If someone cracked a joke at my expense,
I'd take it personally.
But I learned, thanks in part to Eminem,
that when you laugh at yourself,
you disarm everyone around you.
- I went to get a new cell phone
and I wanted one of those packages
where you have the five,
you know, the friends, friends, and family thing.
The guy was like, "Where are your five friends?"
and I'm like, "Ah." I didn't even know!
- It shows that you've got confidence
and a good sense of humor.
And it can come in handy for everything
from dating to getting along with colleagues.
Rule number seven,
give yourself three years to reach big goals.
You may have heard me refer to this one before
as the three year rule.
We often don't work on our dreams because we're afraid.
Afraid people will talk behind our back,
that we'll fail publicly,
or that we just aren't good enough.
So instead of taking action, we do nothing.
We don't switch careers, start that YouTube channel,
or learn how to make mid-century furniture.
But by following the three year rule,
you're giving yourself permission to fail for three years.
It makes following on your face a little bit more palatable
and it gives you the confidence to find your footing.
If over the course of three years
you don't make any significant gains
despite working your butt off,
you have permission to throw in the towel.
But I have a hunch that you'll find some progress.
Even if you aren't in the top 1% in your field,
you'll be surprised at how much growth you can achieve
in three years by taking small steps each day.
Rule number eight, you are responsible for everything.
This is a philosophy that can literally
transform every aspect of your life.
We often come up with excuses when things go wrong.
If you miss a deadline,
you might blame your client for not communicating properly.
If you procrastinate all day,
you might blame that YouTube algorithm.
If you develop a bad habit of eating junk food,
you might blame it on the corporations
that get us hooked on these junk foods.
But what if you took radical responsibility instead?
What would that look like?
Well, you might proactively communicate
with your client about all deadlines.
You might install an app that blocks you from YouTube
and you might not bring junk food
into your house to begin with.
Rule number nine, never skip a workout two days in a row.
I made a video a couple years ago called "The Two Day Rule"
and it really seemed to resonate.
Since uploading it,
I've heard from thousands of subscribers
about how this rule has helped them stay active,
feel better, and reach their fitness goals quicker.
The two day rule is simple.
It's a promise to yourself
that you will not take off
two days in a row from your fitness habit
and this really can actually apply to any habit.
This allows me to take off days as needed.
Often multiple days a week,
but it also keeps the momentum going.
And most importantly, it prevents me
from falling into a slump
and neglecting my health for weeks or months at a time.
So I just had a really long full day shoot.
I didn't have a chance to go to the gym in the morning
and I skipped yesterday,
so that means that, according to the two day rule,
today I have to go to the gym.
Of course, there are times when I break this rule
like when I go on vacation,
get sick, or just have a really busy week,
but I stay committed to this rule more often than not
and it's been an absolute game changer for me.
Rule number 10, assume the best in people.
You really never know what others are going through
and so you should give grace freely and openly.
Who knows?
Maybe that person that cut you off
might be rushing to the hospital,
or the person that flaked on you
might have had a family emergency,
or the collaborator that dropped the ball
might be struggling with anxiety.
Why assume the worst in someone
when you could assume the best?
This doesn't mean
that you should let people take advantage of you
or that you should be completely naive
to the world around you,
but creating a positive snap judgment
will really help to improve your relationships.
And hey, if someone was actually being a dick
by cutting you off,
at least you didn't let their behavior ruin your day.
Those are the 10 rules that changed my life.
Let me know down in the comments below
if there are any rules that you would add
to this list for yourself.
Thanks so much for watching.
See you next time.