We're going to get to work today on how to not let people's negative energy affect your mind.
Hi, I'm Dr. Paul Jenkins, I'm a professional psychologist. I've been doing this for
decades and I'm going to give you five specific strategies that will allow you to take control
of this. Strategy number one, turn your brain on. Disclaimer your brain is always on even
when you're sleeping your brain is still working on things. But different parts of your brain do
different things. The part of your brain that is going to help you the most with this
is kind of up here in the front part of your brain. The frontal and prefrontal cortex. That's the part
of our brain that is typically associated with thinking, logic, reason, problem-solving.
Do you see how we kind of need that part of your brain? That's the part we want to turn on.
As opposed to other parts of your brain that have different responsibilities. There's a part
for example, called the limbic system. Which is responsible for your fight or flight response.
It's supposed to take care of you and protect you from danger. But the problem is sometimes when that
part is fired up it shuts down some of the other parts of your brain and you're not thinking as
effectively as you could otherwise. So we want to turn the brain on. During my clinical training as
a psychologist I got to do a rotation at the state prison. I can't tell you how many times I heard the
phrase, "Oh Doc, I don't know what I was thinking." Well yeah, because you probably weren't thinking.
Yes, your brain was on an active but it was that part of your brain that tells you to either
fight or run away and that part of your brain probably is going to make things worse when it
comes to managing your own behavior, your own responses in an adaptive and responsible way.
So, turn the brain on. I mean, the thinking part of your brain so that we can get to work on the
other strategies. Just another note before we leave turn your brain on and go on to the next strategy.
There's a skill that you can develop called metacognition. Metacognition is just a fancy
word that means thinking about your own thinking. I invite you to do that even as we're having
this conversation here today so that you can track and monitor what's actually going on
in your own thinking as we have this conversation. Will you do that? Turn on the metacognition.
Think about your thinking. Remember, our topic is how not to let other people's negativity affect
our own mind. So, once our brain is turned on and we're doing the thinking and we're even
thinking about our thinking the next strategy is to make a conscious decision. You're doing this
on purpose. Make a conscious decision of how much you want to allow this negativity to affect you.
Did I just say that? How much do you want this negativity to affect you? And you're
probably thinking, "Well, I don't want it to affect me at all", make a conscious decision.
In fact, let's quantify it. A scale 0 to 10 and 0 means i don't want it to affect me at all and 1
2, 3, 4, up to 10 where it is? I want this to totally tip me over and ruin my life. Pick a number.
How much do you want this negativity to affect you? Here's what's so cool about this particular
trick, the strategy. It puts you back in control. It puts you back in choice.
Usually, when we allow negativity to come in and affect our mind we didn't take the step to decide
how much we wanted to let it affect our mind. I'm asking you to pause and just put a number on it.
That in and of itself will put you back in control you're in charge of this, not the negativity. That's
out there trying to get in. Here's your next strategy, make some kind of physical reminder
that you can actually keep on or around you for a while while you practice this. Accept or reject
cards. Now, I made a set here so that you can see them. I've got a reject card here that's all read
on purpose and I've got an accept card here that's green on purpose because green means
go and red means stop, right? So, how do I use these? Well, I might keep these in my pocket. if I were
putting them in my pocket I might make a smaller version so that they'll actually fit in there.
Where I can have them physically on my person and when the negativity comes up and I feel those
cards in my pocket I'll remember, "Oh, I need to pick whether I'm going to accept
that negativity or I'm going to reject that negativity", this seems really simple doesn't it?
Well, it is. It is simple. Sometimes all your brain needs is a little reminder that you have
a choice and with that reminder you can choose to accept or reject that negativity. How much do
you want to take it in? Refer back to our last strategy and if that number is really low then
use your reject card. I'm not going to take that today. Nope, not going to let that negativity in.
I've got two more techniques to share with you. Before I do that take a moment to subscribe
because you might forget afterward and since you're here do it jump down there subscribe.
Hit the notification bell and we'll let you know every time we've got a new tool
for you. What would happen if you were to employ this particular strategy? Start every day
with a positivity boost that you do this on purpose. It's just like brushing your teeth
or doing your morning exercise routine. This is something that you add on purpose. Go back
to toothbrushing for a minute we call that dental hygiene. what about your mental hygiene?
What are you doing to give your mind a positivity boost every day on purpose so that you are
fortified against the negativity that's out there in the world. Look, the world's not going to do this
for you. In fact, if you trust media social media news feeds or other sources outside of you. You're
probably going to be going downhill. Have you noticed how negative much of the content is out
there? There's positive things but you have to seek it out on purpose and insert it into your own life.
The positivity boost. The mental hygiene. I invite you to make a commitment right here today
to commit at least as much time to your mental hygiene as you do to your dental hygiene.
Can you do that? Come here to the channel we'll help you with it here but there's other ways.
Podcasts or books or memorizing mantras or poems or whatever it is that's going
to give you that positivity boost first thing in the morning build it into your routine. Now,
along the lines of what we've just talked about you get to take a look an inventory at your day.
Who you spend your time with? How you spend your time? There's been research done on this you've
probably heard about it before where you become the average of the five people that you hang out
with the most. Hopefully, that's a little scary when we consider as we look around and say, where am I
spending my time? Who am I spending my time with. You're in charge of this and you can restructure
your entire plan to support your positivity. Again this is not something the world is going to do
for you. You get to do this on purpose and take a look at it. So, what if there
are people in your life who are dragging you down. Who are creating that negative energy.
You might consider hanging out with someone who supports your positivity a little bit more.
But what if those people are in my family? What if I can't really get away from them?
Well, that's why we've shared some of the other strategies with you here today
about what you can do to not let the negativity of other people affect your mind and the more you can
enhance your ability. Put yourself in places and with people who will support your goal to be a
positive strong person a contributor to the positivity that we all get to experience here.
I think you can see from what we've discussed this takes a little bit of work. You can
reprogram your mind. In fact, that next video click on that. Let's go see that one next.
Where you get to learn how to reprogram your mind to stay strong and positive.