Hey guys!
So I was at the gym playing basketball not very long ago.
And I was pretty much inspired to make this video.
I witnessed two grown men almost get into a fist fight over who got to play the next game.
And I was actually going to do a cut away reenacting exactly what happened that night.
But I feel like this next cut away shows it even better.
Get over it!
No!
It's my turn to swing!
No!
It's not your turn, it's my turn!
No!
No, I called next!
Not!
Yes!
No!
If you want next, do something about it.
Fine, I will!
*whimpering noises*
*crying noises*
No!
And that's pretty much exactly what happened.
Grown men acting that immature has got to be one of the most annoying things ever.
*Ryan jumps up and down the bed giggling*
And that's why...
From now on...
You're looking at the new and improved mature Ryan.
*claps*
*silence*
That was supposed to be the transition...
You know, going into the next...
*transition music*
Yeah, no, this jacket is way too hot to film in so...
*laugh track in the background*
Shut up!
Anyway
As I was saying
Grown and immature men are one of the most annoying things ever.
And don't get me wrong, there's immature girls as well.
But everyone knows that it's a scientifical fact that women mature faster than guys.
I think.
I mean...Take Justin Timberlake for example.
He's trying to look more mature and trying to be more grown up by doing this whole suit and tie thing.
But what about Justin Bieber?
He's trying to change his image as well.
He's no longer known as that innocent teeny bopper star anymore.
I mean...He used to be *high pitched* JUSTIN BIEBER!
But now, he's like *low pitched* Justin Bieber.
The guy that works out and gets tattoos and gets caught with drugs and posts pictures of himself half naked on Instagram.
I like 'em. *DOUBLE TAP*
And seeing all these changes happen, you know...I wanna be cool too.
I can be mature, I can grow up.
I can...have the name Justin.
So for all of you guys that wanna be more mature like me.
*snicker* 'Cause mature sounds like manure.
*HAHAHAHA*
Here's some things I learned while maturing myself up.
Let's start with the whole reason I started this video.
Fighting
See, immature guys always want to fight over everything.
Whether it's because they can't control their anger or they're trying to prove how tough they are
it's just really immature.
See, I can bench press like 45 pounds.
I mean, I can only bench press like two things, but pretty soon, it's gonna be three. Like, I'm thinking...
'Sup bro.
What, you're checking out my girl?
Yeah, what if I was?
What, you wanna go right now?
Let's go.
Now, take that same situation but with mature guys.
They'd probably handle that situation in a much more civilized manner.
What, you're checking out my girl?
Yeah, what if I was?
What, you wanna go right now?
Let's go...where you wanna go?
Why don't we talk this over some coffee at Starbucks?
Starbucks is kinda expensive...what about McDonald's?
McDonald's ain't got no blueberry scones.
Yeah, but they got 'hella chocolate chip cookies.
That ain't no blueberry scone 'doe.
It's the same thing.
No, it's not.
Fine, why don't we make a drive-thru stop at McDonald's and meet at Starbucks in 10 minutes?
Why not?
Okay.
Fine.
Good.
I'll see you soon.
Can I catch a ride with you? My car is low on gas!
HELL YEAH!
There's nothing wrong with playing video games as long as you manage your time wisely.
See, if you're immature like how I used to be...
From personal experience, it probably looks something like this.
*controller clicking*
Go Go GOGOGO DAMNNIT
See, you took so long. Now they're all dead.
ALL MY BLUEBERRIES!
See, a mature person would be a lot smarter.
*sighs* I think we need to stop playing video games.
Can't be good for our health, you know?
I mean, what else is there to do though?
Play video games in real life? Like what?
Really? Fruit Ninja? I guess it couldn't hurt to try.
Damn, you alright?
POOOOR RYAN ;A;
Immature people listen to immature music.
*Psy - Gentleman playing*
But mature people
We listen to the classics.
Like the Beatles...or Queen...or Jerry (?)...or OPPA GANGNAM STYLE
Mature men have mature diets. It's important to eat healthy when you're a grown man.
Hey man! I'm actually headed to the store right now. You need anything?
Nah, I'm good, dude.
Alright.
Oh, actually, can you pick me up a hot pocket?
Just like the pizza one.
Yeah, sure.
Actually, you know what...just give me a whole box of those.
Okay.
And while you're there, can you pick me up some Top Ramen? The chicken and the beef...and oh, if they have the spicy one, can you get that too?
OH, ah, while you're there, you should get me some Sun Chips, SUN CHIPS, just get me like 2...3 bags
I should probably write this down.
Oh, PRETZELS, lots of pretzels. Mustard pretzels.
Wait, s-slow down.
I don't know if they still have that, if not, just get some pretzels and then just get some mustard.
Wait...w-what was the one before that?
Oh, speaking of mustard, can you get me like 2 or 3...30 boxes of pop tarts?
Serious right now?
The cinnamon ones...and then maybe like 20 blueberries...20 strawberries. I don't know, you can mix 'em up.
Ketchup chips...those are so bomb.
I don't know if we got them here 'cause it-it's in Canada but if you're stopping by...
Canada...
That'd be nice...
Maybe some Cheetos?
Hot Cheetos? Takis...TAKIS. Hot Cheetos and Takis. Let's get that 'cause we can do like the song.
You need anything else, Prince Ryan?
*nods nods* SKITTLES. Lots of Skittles. Starbursts. Pickles. Detergent. OH! 2 liter bottle of Pepsi.
*scoffs* Whatever...
Sounds good.
Actually, now that I think about it...That sounds kinda unhealthy.
DIET PEPSI! AND HOT POCKETS!
It may have been entertaining in the past but GROW UP.
Real men don't watch cartoons.
Hey, do you watch Naruto?
*scoffs* I don't know, do you?
I don't know, do you?
I mean, I guess, like sometimes, like...
Likeeeee.
EVERY THURSDAY NIGHT AT 12 AM WHEN IT FIRST COMES OUT ONLINE
NARUTO
So...you do watch it then.
Yeah, every now and then.
Hey, do you watch Naruto?
*scoffs* NO!
What am I? Some kind of ten-year old to you? What kind of question is that anyway? What are you trying to say...
That I'm immature? That I'm the kind of immature guy that would watch cartoons.
*inaudible* I can show you (?)
Get a life! GROW UP!
READ A BOOK!
*sighs*
HEEHEEHEEHEEHEE
Ah, Sakura, you're such a whore.
The number one way to spot an immature person is by what they find funny.
If you wanna be real mature, you must never again make any
FART JOKES
*uninterested audience*
*FART*
*audience laughter*
SEX JOKES
*shows the number 66*
*uninterested audience*
*turning the number 66 into 69*
*audience laughter*
FAT JOKES
Your ma...Your mama's so fat
that when she sat in the chair, it broke.
*crickets*
And, of course, the most immature...
PENIS JOKES
*crickets*
*Ryan showing to the audience a banana*
*Ryan peels the banana*
*Ryan attempts to swallow the banana*
*audience laughter*
Okay, so honestly I exaggerated all these examples.
But you know what I'm trying to say.
At some point in time, all you immature guys out there
need to grow up.
Yeah, I'm a guy too, so I understand how fun video games are
and how funny penis jokes and fart jokes can be.
But the fact of the matter is, and the real reason I made this video, is because...
I'm getting older and I'm tired of being called immature in real life, so...
If you're looking for any more cheap laughs, o-or immature comedy...I suggest you look somewhere else.
*Camera zoomed out*
*Ryan walking towards a chair in front of a TV with a video game open on it*
*Ryan is siting down*
*Unpausing FarmVille*
Oh yeah, I'm thinking about starting a gaming channel.
*CHAIR CRASHES*
PENIS. TEE HEE *toot*