YOU KNOW, THERE IS INTRIGUE IN THIS NATION ABOUT HOW MELANIA
TRUMP GOT HER GREEN CARD.
APPARENTLY-- WE JUST LEARNED THIS-- APPARENTLY, INSTEAD OF
WAITING IN LINE LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE, IN 2001, WHILE SHE WAS
DATING DONALD TRUMP, SHE RECEIVED A SO-CALLED "EINSTEIN
VISA."
POSSIBLY-- POSSIBLY BECAUSE WHEN SHE TOLD HER FRIEND SHE WAS
DATING DONALD TRUMP, THEY SAID, "WAIT TO GO, EINSTEIN."
( LAUGHTER ) NOW, THESE VISAS ARE RESERVED
FOR A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF INDIVIDUALS THAT HAVE RISEN TO
THE VERY TOP OF THEIR FIELD.
AND IN MELANIA'S CASE, HER BIGGEST JOB AT THE TIME WAS A
SPOT IN THE SWIMSUIT EDITION OF "SPORTS ILLUSTRATED"."
JIMMY, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THAT.
WELL, THERE SHE IS, MELANIA TRUMP.
OBVIOUSLY, SHE WAS AHEAD OF HER TIME.
SHE BEAT "SHAPE OF WATER" BY A DECADE.
FUN FACT: ALBERT EINSTEIN GOT HIS GREEN CARD WITH A VERY
SIMILAR PHOTO SHOOT.
( LAUGHTER ) AND THIS WEEK, IT GOT EVEN WORSE
WHEN MELANIA LIKED A TWEET CALLING TRUMP A HYPOCRITE ON HIS
IMMIGRATION POLICIES TITLED, "HOW EXACTLY DID MELANIA TRUMP
GET AN 'EINSTEIN VISA'?" YES, MELANIA MAY BE QUESTIONING
HER OWN CITIZENSHIP.
RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN HER AND DONALD HAS GOTTEN SO BAD, SHE'S
HOPING FOR ICE TO INTERVENE.
PLEASE WELCOME LIVE, VIA SATELLITE, FIRST LADY, MELANIA
TRUMP.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: HELLO!
THANK YOU FOR MAKING TIME FOR US, MADAM FIRST LADY.
>> OF COURSE, STEPHEN.
AS SOON AS I GOT YOUR CALL, I RUSHED RIGHT TO THE AIRPORT.
AND THEN THE SECRET SERVICE FOUND ME AND BROUGHT ME BACK TO
THE WHITE HOUSE.
>> Stephen: I'M GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.
FIRST OFF, YOU HUSBAND IS BEING BY PORN STAR STORM DANIELS, WHO
CLAIMED SHE HAD AN AFFAIR WITH HIM AND HE PAID HER $130,000 IN
HUSH MONEY.
>> STEPHEN, I TOLD YOU BEFORE I DON'T CARE ABOUT THESE WOMEN.
MY DONALD IS AS LOYAL AS THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER HE BUYS HIS
HAIR FROM.
>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT, BUT MISS
DANIELS ISN'T THE ONLY RUMOR.
THERE IS ALSO A FORMER PLAYBOY PLAYMATE.
NOT THAT I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE PRESIDENT'S
BEDROOM?
>>E GOD, NEITHER DO YOU.
( GAGGING )
>> Stephen: SPEAK OF WHICH, THERE ARE RUMORS THAT YOU'RE NOT
EVEN LIVING IN THE WHITE HOUSE RIGHT NOW.
>> NONSENSE, OF COURSE, I AM!
IF YOU CAN CALL THIS LIVING!
HEY OH, OH, OH.
>> Stephen: BUT IT MUST HAVE HURT WHEN YOUR HUSBAND MADE YOU
FIRE YOUR EVENT PLANNER, STEPHANIE WINSTON WILCOCK,
BECAUSE SHE WAS PAID $26 MILLION BY THE TRUMP INAUGURAL
COMMITTEE.
WASN'T SHE A CLOSE FRIEND?
>> YES, BUT I HAVE MANY FRIENDS AT THE WHITE HOUSE.
THERE IS THE STEWARD WHO BRINGS ME MY MORNING CELERY STALK.
AND THEN I HAVE PLENTY OF GIRL TIME WITH THE MIRROR.
I'M SO WORRIED ABOUT HER.
HER RISE SO HAUPTED.
( LAUGHTER ) THEN, OF COURSE, THERE IS THE
BUTTERFLY WHO VISITS MY WINDOW TO REMIND ME THAT I, TOO, WAS
ONCE JOYOUS AND FREE.
FLY AWAY, LITTLE BUTTERFLY!
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: MADAM FIRST LADY, IF YOU COULD COLLECT YOURSELF.
LET'S-- LET'S TALK ABOUT IMMIGRATION.
>> OH!
WHERE?
OH, YOU'VE GOT ME!
OH, NOOOOOO!
IS THERE MADAM FIRST LADY, IMMIGRATION IS NOT HERE.
>> OH!
>> Stephen: YOUR HUSBAND HAS A LONG HISTORY OF OPPOSING
IMMIGRATION, BOTH LEGAL AND ILLEGAL.
YET HE HIRES IMMIGRANTS TO WORK AT HIS HOTELS AND HE'S MARRIED
TO IMMIGRANTS.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY: IMMIGRANTS, WE DO THE JOBS
AMERICANS DON'T WANT.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: BUT ISN'T IT-- ISN'T IT-- DON'T YOU THINK IN
ANY WAY IT'S HYPOCRITICAL THAT HIS WIFE GOT TO STAY IN THE
COUNTRY WITH AN EB-1 VISA.
>> EEQUALS MC SQUARED.
IT'S ALWAYS FOUR CHANGE 20 SOMEWHERE.
>> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND, I THOUGHT VISA YOU RECEIVED WAS
FOR MODELING.
>> OH, NO.
MY EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY IS STAYING MARRIED TO DONALD TRUMP!
( LAUGHTER ) I'M STAYING AS LONG AS I CAN.
IT'S LIKE A RODEO, BUT I'M RIDING LETHARGIC BRONCO WITH
BROAN SPURS.
OR ONE OF THOSE CONTEST WHERE'S THE LAST ONE STANDING WAS A
TRUCK, YOU KNOW, HANDS ON A SOFT BODY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S IMPRESSIVE.
>> ALSO, I CAN DO THIS: ♪ YOU KNOW WHY
I DON'T LET HIM TOUCH MY THIGHS ♪ STORMY DANIELS ♪
>> Stephen: MELANIA TRUMP, EVERYBODY.