(simple acoustic music)
- I was 3 years old when my parents
came to me and told me they were getting divorced.
- I've actually been through two divorces in my life.
- My parents separated when I was about 6.
- My parents got divorced simply because
they didn't get along anymore.
- I was 2 years old when my parents
first got divorced.
- My parents have been married for 40 years
and they're getting divorced this year.
- The first divorce, that was like my dad,
that was the guy that, ya know,
I'm half of and not seeing him
the way that I saw him growing up
was really strange.
I thought like my dad wasn't my dad anymore.
- When my mom told me that my dad
was moving out, I was in disbelief.
It was almost like I put up this wall of denial.
- My dad didn't live at home.
He moved to Miami.
Most of our conversations from that point on
were on the telephone.
- You recognize that something's different
and then you're confused about what's happening
and then you go "OK."
Like you're trying to figure something out
and maybe you still haven't figured it out
but you're angry about it because it's different
and then you're wondering, like, is this different bad
or is it good, and you're not sure.
But then you're wondering if you had something
to do with it.
- It wasn't just about them getting divorced.
It was about my whole family being broken up.
- Mom talked about Dad a lot.
Couldn't stand it.
I think I was like a young teenager at the time
and ya know, my advice, if that's happening,
is to respectfully ask your parents
not to discuss the other person in front of you.
Because a) it's not healthy,
b) it makes you feel like shit.
- I felt different,
in terms of putting myself out there with men.
- I am a humongous commitment-phobe
because of my dad.
I find it incredibly hard to get close to a guy.
- Every day I fight, it's a struggle,
to not become like my dad
and follow into those footsteps
and those decisions.
And I feel like you can, too.
You can better yourself and you can wake up
every day and make a conscious decision
to be a better person and be who
you want to be.
- So we all have these ideas of what
we're supposed to be doing,
and I think that only exacerbated
the feeling of "my family is different"
or "there's something missing from my
experience growing up because my parents
aren't together."
- Through the winding road of life
I've realized that...
divorce is not so great.
So if I can prevent that in my own life
and really take time to get to know someone...
- Everyone thinks divorce is so common
and it's not a big deal and yah, it is common
but it is a big deal and it can completely
affect your life.
So need to stop being so like,
"It doesn't matter" and actually talk about it
and actually accept that it's something
you're going through and it can be hard.
(mellow acoustic music)