- I am gonna be a fun mom.
I'm wearing a mumu and I'm only 24,
18 if you're a casting agent.
Seriously, mumus are awesome, get into it,
I look like a rug with arms.
But, hey there, do you wanna go to bed with me?
Metaphorically?
Maybe physically after this global pandemic. (chuckles)
Let's keep it light. (laughs)
(playful music)
Hey, guys, welcome to my nighttime skincare, oop.
Welcome to my nighttime skincare routine,
also my hair is not wet, I have not showered yet.
It's just greasy and not presentable for camera,
but I'm self-aware and being vulnerable
by showing you this, so (tongue clicking) points for me.
But yeah, today I'm gonna show you my skincare routine.
I'm so excited.
I've been playing with my makeup during this pandemic,
and it's been a very calming soothing thing for me.
So I encourage you to try something other than this look,
'cause this one doesn't look that great, but hey.
You're alive, right?
Oh, yeah, he is.
So, the first thing that I use is C'est Moi Cleansing water.
Girl, that's a full ass bottle!
Yeah, it is, but that's because this is a new product,
yeh ying.
I don't know what that was,
something in my throat, maybe my house is haunted.
Hello.
Yeh, ying.
There it was again.
But yeah, I'm actually about to try it
for the very first time right now,
because it's a brand new product and I just got this.
But normally I use my C'est Moi Gentle Makeup Remover Wipes.
These are bomb, bomb as hell.
I don't have cotton pads right now,
I only have toilet paper, surprisingly.
Actually, I'm only gonna use this,
'cause I definitely need this for my booty later.
Apply a healthy dose.
All right, now say goodbye to my facial features.
♪ This is real ♪
♪ This is me. ♪
Whoa! (laughs)
My whole eyebrow just disappeared.
So, the toilet paper does that little thing
where it makes little pieces,
like it does in your butt.
So, I am using my C'est Moi Gentle Makeup Remover Wipes.
(yelling) Oh girl, what you doing' in my house, uh uh,
you better physically distance, bitch!
Sorry, I know y'all just saw that giant bug
try to fight me, right?
Thank you for being here for me while it happened,
that was terrifying.
All right, whenever I'm takin' off my makeup,
I always try to like, swoop upwards,
'cause girl gravity got other plans.
Gravity's tryin' to bring you down, she a bitch.
All right, here comes another disappearing act,
Allakadam (laughs)
Shablaph, done.
You do not want to sleep in your makeup.
You know why?
Because bacteria and tiny mites will crawl in your eyes
and eat away at your makeup. (coughs)
That's a creepy video you can look up on YouTube
after you watch this one.
But they're there anyways,
but they're more attracted to your face
when you're wearin' a lot of makeup.
Kind of like men, all right.
All right next step, next stop,
we got hydration station boy.
It's a face mask!
This is one of my favorite masks called Refreshing,
and you're damn right it is.
So you exfoliate, rub it all in,
then you leave it on for 15 minutes
and then shablam, you're hydrated.
I do this about, (blows raspberries)
two, three times a week.
I swear I could just like, squeeze this on a piece of toast
and eat it, but don't do that,
'cause I'm not in the mood for a lawsuit.
You can legit see the strawberry seeds, what?
Bam!
(in a whisper voice) Oh, it feels so good.
Oh!
Yoh!
So I exfoliated, and then I leave it on my face
and let it hydrate for 15 minutes and I chill,
and talk to my mirror,
and we always have a great conversation.
Skincare and color cosmetics is such an unregulated
industry, they can put damn near anything in your products.
You should really read the back of them.
And C'est Moi has so many vegan products, too.
And everybody's going vegan on the inside,
girl, go vegan on the outside.
Vegan on the inside, vegan on the outside,
♪ Vegan on the inside ♪
♪ Vegan on the outside. ♪
♪ Vegan on the inside. ♪
It's three a.m.
And then I wash it off, okay.
Here's a tip, just a tip,
if you get patterned, colored towels
you look more cultured
and you don't get makeup stains on 'em.
(in whisper voice) You're welcome.
Look at that.
Look at that, huh?
God, that's one of my favorites.
One of my favorite freaking masks, I love this guy.
Mwah, Daddy loves you.
So, I do a second mask,
because I have the time to,
'cause I'm very bored and single.
Bro, broseph, brosephina, I love this Charcoal Mask.
It is one of the smoothest, I'm gonna just show,
shh, let me show you.
Check it, mmm.
Simba.
Yeah, this is dope.
Ah, (snorts) whoo, I deserve this.
Like, when it feels this good, why not do it every night?
Am I right ladies?
(whispering) That's thick, like that consistency,
that pigment though.
(yelling) Bom, bom bom!
That feels amazing, I look like a cute ass panda.
Oh, and when it dries too, you can already see it drying,
sucking the (beep) out of my pores, I love it.
And then I keep this puppy on 15 minutes.
Is that puppy okay? (chuckles)
Sometimes I do three masks a night.
'Cause you're single?
No, (chuckles) 'cause I'm sad.(chuckles)
Also, love me some incense.
Harry Potter.
It is three a.m. (chuckles)
I do this about, two, three times a week.
All right, now that's all dry.
Look it, look it just sucks it, it sucks it, it sucks.
Damn, that feels good!
Look at that skin.
All mine, baby, grew it myself.
Did the mirror just get cuter, or is it just me?
All right, so my next step.
Something I do like, twice a week is shave Stacy, my stache.
So, I do use Doctor Bronner's,
4-in-1 Lavender Organic Sugar Soap.
I use this for my body in the shower,
sometimes for my face in the shower.
I use it for my hands, face, hair,
literally pretty much everywhere.
Best wholesome, clean ingredients in here, too.
All organic, all fair trade, ah I just love,
oooh, I love good people.
See I take a little bit of this, boop, put it on Stacy,
and then I take a men's Gillette razor,
'cause they're always better than women's.
Ain't that societal commentary.
Some people say it grows back thicker.
It doesn't for me, I have really thin hair.
I'm only half Hindi,
but I think it depends on your hair type.
Okay, see you later Stacy.
She'll be back in like, two to three business days.
Sometimes, if I'm having a break out,
which I am a little bit over here,
I don't know what that is.
I use Blemish Treatment Acne Pads by C'est Moi.
These are, say it with me, bomb.
They are these nice little pads.
It clears up my skin, it never burns!
Sometimes when you put on pimple treatment,
it just like burns.
This one does not, it's so gentle.
All right, next step!
We got Biossance Vitamin C Rose Oil.
I don't know how to say Biossance.
Biossance, Biosanche, Bayosanche, Bishash.
Absolutely love this,
this is one of the best vitamin C oils ever.
So I put a couple drops, bop, bop.
And then, roll some balls on my face. (chuckles)
Everybody has a face massager, and I have FOMO so I got one.
You can actually put batteries inside
and it will vibrate too, hmm.
Seems like a multi-use instrument.
I like to do the pat and push upwards technique,
just to get all of the products into my skin
and into my neck, don't you dare forget your neck.
(slaps)
Who's in a pandemic, what, who, what?
And then I put on, you guessed it, C'est Moi. (laughs)
C'est Moi Gentle Moisture Lotion.
Growing up, I had eczema, I had molluscum.
If you don't know what that is,
I'm not gonna tell you, 'cause it's nasty.
It's blood filled pimples.
And it's so nice to find a line that has everything,
that is clean and safe for your skin.
Quiet on set, quiet on set, we're gettin' the shot.
Use some of her, (in whisper voice) so beautiful.
(beep)
Schmack it around a little bit.
Once again do not forget your neck.
(slaps)
But you also, scooboop, moisturize your ears.
Did you know, (giggles) I got fun facts,
that your ears and your nose never stop growing
throughout your life.
They get bigger and they get wrinklier,
so make sure you keep.
(in a whisper voice) That feels so good, oh.
I can't wait to be reincarnated into a dog and be pet.
So just make sure you moisturize.
(whispering) Oh, it feels so good.
I'm so calm now ah, I feel so at peace.
And then this is a fun thing I started doing recently,
I put a little bit of (mouth pop),
you guessed it (chuckles),
it's their Gentle Lotion with SPF.
What Liza, it's night time.
Yeah, I ain't stupid.
But guess who tries to sneak into your bed
with you in the morning?
The damn sun!
You ain't gonna catch me sleeping, sun.
So I wear SPF.
I won't put a whole lot on,
'cause I wear it during the day.
The sun causes wrinkles and cancer,
and sunscreen is an anti-wrinkle, anti-cancer product.
Make sure you wear sunscreen,
'cause brown people, we have been bamboozled.
You are not wearing brown armor,
your melanin is not your protective tent.
You must wear sunscreen every single day.
And then, where's my toothbrush?
Oh.
I brush my teeth in the shower,
so I get my toothbrush out of the shower.
It's just efficient, like I'm just brilliant,
I can't help it.
Isshah Bamboo Toothbrush, I use a bamboo toothbrush
and you should too, because plastic toothbrushes
are not biodegradable.
And think about how many toothbrushes
you've used throughout your lifetime.
The very first toothbrush you ever used as a kid,
still exists, somewhere.
That's crazy (beep).
And then I take my toothbrush and rinse it off,
and I brush my lips,
make 'em all nice and soft for someone to enjoy one day.
And them if I'm really manifesting a man,
I (chuckles) use this sugar Lip Scrub by Sara Happ, loo.
And I take a little creepy pinky,
rub it on my lips, okay.
My lips peel a lot. (water faucet running)
I think California is dry as (beep).
Then I wash that off,
and then I take my dog's hair outta my mouth.
And then, I pop two of these.
These are Vegan Collagen Boosting Gummies.
I take a lot of gummies,
'cause they're like my adult fruit snack pack.
Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
Okay yeah, now that's it.
Look at that, clean as a whistle.
Honestly, whistles are not that clean,
everyone puts their nasty ass mouth on it.
That shouldn't be a saying, it angers me.
But yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed this.
Make sure to subscribe to Harper's Bizarre for more content
and I hope you guys are being safe, sane, and sanitized
and smooth as hell.
Bye, guys.
Damn, that looks good.
(claps)
I did that, things I did.
(claps) That.
(snappy music)
Bye, go!
The video's over.
Go to sleep.
(snappy music)