Guys do you ever feel like you're just too busy to date or approach women? Well since its my job, no!
With all the work we do in this company to bring you guys content and and run events we're busy
as hell i even have another uh a business i mean i'm also in finance i'm technically busy as hell
but i find that that's for the most part an excuse a lot of guys say to avoid the tension and to give
themselves a little pat on the back for why they don't have the dating life and the women that
they want convenient excuse yeah and they can feel good like you said they can feel good i'm so busy
perceived value yeah i would burn myself or burning the candle at both ends of the wick
exactly it didn't matter like i i would go weeks and weeks and just keep pushing it honestly i
knew what was more important to me because like i knew i was going to school i knew i was working
i knew that i had like personal things that i had to do but like this area was more important
than anything else the funniest thing though is that you can actually use that to your advantage
for your mindset because if you do have a lot of stuff going on and you bring that energy to the
approaches that you do i don't care how busy you are i don't care if you're an investment banker
on wall street and you work 18 hours a day you're going to see women in your day-to-day life and if
you come with that energy like is this woman worth my time does she have value my time is precious
women feel that and that makes you really high value you're qualifying them it's such a slight
little shift that if you made that shift in your perception you could use that to your advantage
but most guys who say that just an excuse man because how long does it take to meet a woman
like in that situation if you if you really don't have the time in your life like at
all and what we say is just not true then change your life because it's just not like you can't
be happy if you cannot bring women in your life so that's the first thing the second is when i joined
the attractive man i was studying so i had classes whatever i was traveling i was going to the gym i
was meditating every day i was reading books and i didn't want to drop all those things we are
also busy because we some guys just have passion for many things and that's that's fine but how
i would solve the problem is i would also it's a the art of imbalance like sometimes you cannot do
everything every day you just gotta make some things on hold to focus on certain things so
sometimes i would just take a weekend and go in a city and hang out with my friends from the
attractive man and go out and meet women and just find this imbalance that actually helps to to be
busy and on the other hand what you said is right you're always going to see women on your way so
like you don't have an excuse to not talk to them like even if you are the type of guy that travels
a lot which happened to me you can always talk to women in the airport like guess what some of them
are going to go to the same place as you so you have a date in the airplane it's a psychological
blinder it just keeps those blinders on so oh no no no no there's no women i can't have women
i don't have time like look under that excuse what is the truth it's not that you can it's that
you won't and when you can actually be honest and admit to yourself that it's not that you can it's
that you won't then you can choose to actually do it because here's the deal it takes two minutes to
meet a girl and get her phone number especially how we teach yeah get her phone number and then
texting takes hardly any time or you go on an instant date and you have to eat why not eat with
her so there's literally no excuses two minutes to get her phone number and then go on a date and
eat yeah dinner date not the best date but i do it sometimes because it saves time yeah i think
you just touched the most important point is you know we we attach so much this idea of dating to
something special like we have to go in a special place at a special time to meet a special girl and
then set up the date and especially like it has everything has to be like turn around all these
things when actually dating can just be part of our life and that's it that's what you said right
other things that i've learned is just cutting out the [ __ ] honestly like things that don't
resonate with what i'm trying to do in terms of my goals like the people that are supposed to like
like if you're trying to go out and all you're doing with your friends is like drinking and
you're not doing any approaches or you're staying at home watching netflix or you're watching porn
right instead of actually approaching and stuff like that as you have so much time you need to
get busy you need it you need to start having you know like i do jujitsu and then i try to
meditate and like my days are so packed that it's almost impossible for me to actually have these
interactions but as i'm going through my day i'm just saying hi to people and then when i see that
girl i'm like that's the girl i'm gonna go for it sit down and be real with yourself and say okay
am i using this as an excuse not to go on dates or do i really have real life time constraints
because i was in that position when i got to school when i was 20 i went right to work and
i was working full time during the day and full time at night i had literally monday night off
for like five months straight monday nights off and i definitely don't recommend this if your
goal is to go out and meet women but there's no excuse not to put up an online dating profile
and thumb through tinder match bumble whatever while you're on the john you know there really
isn't like you said if you're going to go out to eat anyways you might as well invite somebody to
come with you even if it costs you an extra 20 30 50 whatever it is if you're working that much
you probably have money to spend anyways hopefully and speaking of online dating you can outsource it
i've done that it works pretty well because i don't want to be sitting there even on the john
my time's more valuable like i was thinking about optimization and then you're like optimization
another point is the energy another point is the energy so i have i had one student actually he
was a busy entrepreneur he was just starting his company in e-commerce or something like that so he
was building his business and he was also going to the gym and doing all the healthy lifestyle with
the keto stuff and everything he came to my first boot camp and learned how to interact with women
but after that there is a learning curve and he had to text them and whatever and he one time he
just hit me up and he had like a conversation he sent three texts to the girl and he was mad at me
he was hey man this takes so much time it takes so much energy and i i just told her man that's three
texts it literally takes 30 seconds to write a date so most guys that are in this position
uh you are probably i don't know maybe you work behind your screen all day long and you're or
you're a busy entrepreneur and so you're just lonely because of what you do quote to quote so
in this case the problem is not necessarily to be boring it's just that you you're really in this
time where you are in the social state pretty much what you are saying like i when i was studying i
used to work behind my computer all day long and study and i was mostly alone that was for real so
what i would do and it also helped me to practice my english i would just speak out loud what i
would see and then when i would get out of it and i would see people i would start to talk to them
your life gets more uh aligned with this idea of it's not approaching it's just talking to whoever
comes to your way yeah it becomes a lifestyle what i've seen with the guys with the online mentorship
that we have is that a lot of them actually they move they move into the city or they go to a
different state or something like that and they'll go into the city just to like have that ability to
just go outside and just talk to people that's it just to have a social life so your whole life just
changes when you when you make these small changes yeah guys look at their some guys look at their
lives so shallowly like my life is this way and they're so fixated on it's this way it's one track
and it's like dude if your life is not creating the opportunities and the aspects that you need to
thrive change it right move to a new city join a club get mentored in this day and age everybody's
like grinding and grinding and grinding but you actually feel a lot better when you interact with
people and you have relationships like you need that to support you to get through the hard times
because if you just go i have one of my best friends uh is an entrepreneur he's got two
thriving companies now he's actually about to become a millionaire and for months and months
you know he would tell me he's like ah man i'm not going out i'm not doing anything i'd be like dude
just go out for like 20 minutes a day and talk to people because he lives downtown vancouver right
he lives right there he just did that and he's like wow my like i'm so much more productive i
have so much more energy i'm not getting into this like lull and numbness you know and he started
doing that more you know he was doing it two or three times a day and then he starts meeting girls
then he starts going on dates i was like dude like you don't have to go on a six-hour date right like
go meet her for coffee see what's up talk with her see if you have something in common have
that frame where i'm busy as hell i'm a successful entrepreneur and i have big goals are you going to
waste my time yeah because you you got to take a break from from working yeah so go outside being
busy isn't productive that's like you will hear that everywhere being busy isn't productive you're
going to hear that everywhere yes for you like let me ask you a question so you just got finished
with school recently right right so you had school you're going to the gym what else were you doing
okay going to the gym i was uh okay just pause there going to the gym can you pick up girls
there yeah for sure next where else have you been i've been meditating at school again for sure
definitely definitely school girls college girls done on the way traveling in the bus
like instead of going by yeah instead of driving just take the bus and speak to people on the way
you have a break during your lunch yeah go meet girls then yeah i mean it's a matter of having
a good sleep schedule so that you're not dead during the day and other than that if you take a
nap then you can go out when it's packed at night literally wake up at six do your morning routine
do your job then go out go to the gym come back eat take a nap and go go out for two hours
and then go back to bed and you have your eight hours of sleep and you're good and you
like maximize your time you can go out and speak to 20 people and 20 minutes or even more or you
can just try to speak to 20 people throughout the day well another like optimization thing
that i usually teach is this like for the guys who are quote unquote busy all the time is to say
if you want to get good at night game or you want to go out at night or just get the numbers in
go out on ladies night which where i'm from there's the ladies night on wednesday and thursday
right so you're guaranteed lots of girls like guaranteed there will be girls getting their
cheap jaw drinks or whatever just go one by one by one right right after another
boom done and then focus on only the really good nights if you're in a smaller town friday and
saturday don't bother the rest and then go out with a sure intention of i'm gonna go out for
this amount of hours i'm about one two hours i'm gonna do x amount of approaches or talk to
as many girls or go for this many phone numbers or whatever it is and just do it and then go home if
you're not feeling just go home like you got your mission accomplished don't feel bad about it like
all right well i i came in it's been an hour i approached 10 girls i got two numbers uh i wanted
to pull tonight or i want to do something else but that's what it is and then move on make it
fun like if you're if your life overall is not fun then talking to people is energy taking it takes
energy from you whereas if you do something that you enjoy that you want and you have passions and
you have things to talk about then just talking to people is the reverse it gives you more energy
because they they also give back and you feel good well like we're social humans right so
you we need that communication like if you are behind your computer all day long watching this
do something with it like go and talk to someone it's it's very important yeah cause i mean
especially if you're an introvert does that mean i can hate up the girls on our slack channel
some girl you were for the sea work for the same dating company as me all right so it's about
what are you focusing on are you focusing on the obstacles are you focusing on the opportunities
yeah i think that's really a really meta statement for it you could stick to the
most ridiculous excuse like like you're saying earlier i don't have time to text all day it's
like well get whatsapp messenger on your computer so you can instantly reply got it you know
like matt said hire a virtual assistant to do it four dollars an hour you're in business you can
afford it tax write-off teach them how to copy and paste it's not that hard most i would say
most of the time your first usual three to five messages are mostly the same anyways when you're
working a lot of numbers guys look we don't make a personalized message for every single person
we've ever approached it would just take too long it just takes you long so some of it you
can script out it's possible to do this because we've all had to go through whatever we had to go
through to make it to this point and teach this right because we had to like put it to a whole
different level like we weren't just satisfied with just having a good you know love life or
a relationship or something like that we were just like no we want to be the best and we knew
what that came with like we knew we had to like have that mama mentality or something like that
where it's just like no one's going to beat me at this and if i really want to get to this level i
have to do exactly what i need to do yeah and guys watching this you might feel like the same
thing you want to get the best woman therefore you need to be the best which is absolutely true
so you feel like you don't have enough time to put in the reps just like going to the gym that's
why you need a mentor because then you bypass a lot of that learning curve instead of it taking
10 000 hours to get to that level it takes a lot less there was a lot less it was so true
for me so i was speaking about being at school in this period i would always find excuses to
not go out i have an exam i have to study i have to do something uh i'm tired of school so i need
to work out and i would always find an excuse to just not go out and spend 20 minutes to go there
talk to people go back and when i just joined the attractive man that changed everything because i
had first of all i have events to look for because i would always go to i would plan my events right
in front like before then so i would look forward to in two months going to a different city to meet
guys that i enjoyed to hang out with and go out with that would motivate me to just go out by my
own because i don't want them you know to improve and me not so it gets you into this dynamics of i
have to roll with them yeah yeah that's what i learned from jiu jitsu or just like even if you
are hurt like if you missed that one class that's the one class that you really needed
you know being able to uh get to a point that you just feel comfortable with it
it's fun like it's really really fun and once you start getting to that you know that flow state or
however you want to call it like you said it cuts the learning curve in half yeah in the beginning
for example it might take you 10 interactions or approaches to get one phone number
then you get a mentor then you learn how to do it right you get the training the coaching
and then in three approaches interactions you get a phone number that leads to a date
so it's just gonna speed things up so you're not wasting all your time how many times have we had
like uh you know we've all had this where you take a student out and he just goes into flow
state right away and goes from like zero to hero so quickly and he's like whoa i can't believe like
social flow state is one of the funnest things and when you have somebody who's guiding you
and pushing you into stepping into more and more tension you just get into that kind of free state
where anything feels possible that's the number one thing because a lot of people don't feel safe
i think that matt just said before the ultimate advice if you are busy is just fix this very
quickly just immerse yourself in an environment when you can do this such as our boot camps we
just take you out for three days when you don't do anything else you don't have any other excuse to
focus on something else yeah and that's how you fix it that's how i went from uh being with one
girl only and coming out of a breakup feeling that it was the last one to being a dating coach and
pretty much being able to approach everyone and talking to everyone and getting a number and
doing whatever i want to do so this is something that you can fix so be focused on what is the
most be focused on one thing at a time your life is made of relationships wealth health and you
gotta imbalance these things sometimes to find a a long-term balance right managing the tension and
one thing that i've also learned is that like it really shows what you're made out of
like that's the number one thing where it's just like makes you mad yeah that
like pushing your limits sometimes definitely yes what excuses have you been telling yourself
for ages that you're fed up with what excuses are you ready to drop to go out and get
what you want in your life post it in the comments below my mom used to tell me
excuses are like [ __ ] everyone has one and they all stink so when you're done
making excuses for why you're not getting the most out of your dating life click the description pop
on that link below check us out the attractive man and leave a comment down below let us know
what other videos you'd like to see on this channel what other questions you have that you
want us to answer for you this is the attractive man team and we'll see you in the next video.