There's apparently been a recent rise in what are being called lonely single men.
And when you look at the numbers, the trend is pretty clear.
You take a look at this chart from Pew,
the percentage of men that are without a spouse or a partner has been
increasing from back in 1990 at 29% of those between 25 and 54.
It's now I'm not great at numbers, but I'm gonna say 50% higher at 38.
Now you do have a rise in cohabitation that is becoming more common.
But even when you consider that there are more men of sort of prime
dating years that are not dating or married.
And the data shows that fairly clearly it's been rising for about 30 years and
in fact now men are more likely than women to be unpardonable.
That was not the case several decades ago.
You can actually take a look at that trend over time.
In this next chart.
Women are at a higher rate going from 29 to 36% over about three decades,
but the men are higher and there has now been this divergence right there.
And look depending on who you talk to.
They interpret this in a different way.
And the stakes of the debate are interpreted differently.
Some would point out as Pew has in this chart that unpardonable
men fare worse economically than partnered men.
I would question the direction of the causal arrow there.
It is possible that it's not a causal thing or
maybe it's there's a percentage or a share of both directions.
I don't know.
But anyway, this is a real thing and
my fear Adrian is that the dominant response to this will come
from the in cells who you know very often move rapidly from
an acknowledgement of the problem to demonizing other men and all women.
In fact potentially moving to lethal threats of violence or carrying it out.
Or you know, people like Jordan Peterson and tucker Carlson,
massive grifters that play to men's fear about their masculinity.
They're grifters, they're lying, they're awful.
But the problem is actually there, what do you think about it?
I think you're absolutely right about the consequences of this reality.
You know, people just need to fully come to terms with the fact that historically
women needed men because that's how the oppression structure was set up.
We were hostages.
We couldn't have credit cards, couldn't own property, couldn't vote, had no voice.
Well of course we partner up with a man because we needed one so
that we didn't starve to death because men used force to keep us under their thumb.
Now, fortunately things have evolved.
And guess what?
We don't need men.
So if it comes to being in a relationship,
it's a matter of bringing something to the table.
And if what you're bringing to the table is a toddler like mentality where you
are running around running amok expecting a mommy and expecting some
kind of subordinate, you know, concubine kind of set no woman wants that.
So of course, you see so many men who are single because they've never realized that
they need to actually be tolerable individuals and
as a result they are single because nobody wants you ask.
So of course, just like a job if you want to actually do well and
actually have the opportunity to have that you need to develop the skills to be in
a relationship.
And that's what a lot of men need to do.
I agree. Look,
I I think that what you just talked about represents probably the lion's
share of this.
I bet I bet there's probably a little bit over the last three decades of, you know,
some of the begrudging increased acceptance of the L.
G. B. T. Q.
Community that might be influencing these numbers a little bit.
There some economic changes and stuff like that.
But yeah, no, I think that you're I think that you're largely right, I think, and
by the way, it's one of the reasons why people like tucker Carlson feel that they
can play two guys misplaced like pining for old school masculinity.
They won't necessarily all stated, although some do, but
they miss being owners of women basically.
That's they wish that they still had that.
So anyway.
I was reading about this on psychology today and
there's this guy Greg Matos who had based on his research doing like, you know,
group therapy and stuff like that, what he thinks could possibly help this.
He says upwards of 62% of users on dating apps are men now
there's a disparity there.
So there's more competition on the male side.
He says recurring dating themes from women of that age range they talked to
is they prefer men who are emotionally available, good communicators and
share similar values which seems reasonable to me.
The issue is that the guys doing the advice giving for
men, I feel like that's not often what their advice is about about you learning
to be emotionally available, supportive, independent enough that you can
actually live your life without expecting everyone to fill in all the cracks for
you, but also able to be a partner.
I feel like those are the sorts of things that could actually help to fix this, but
that's not where the market is going in terms of the advice.
Yeah, no, I think you're absolutely right.
There are so many people out there who are telling men that they need to be masculine
and that that they need to be the stoic creatures who dominate women.
Nobody wants that once again, nobody wants that.
And also there is nuance in the thought that I want a dot dominant man, but
I don't want a man to dominate me.
And it's like if you spend time trying to understand that nuance and
try to adapt and also have the skills to be, you know, a solid partner,
then great people will want you to come to the table.
But by treating women as though they are possessions or
that they deserve to be dominated or supposed to do this.
It's like you're going to continue to run into these issues and again,
nobody will want you.
Yeah, like maybe we'll get some like in cells or whatever.
They'll watch this and be like, no, he's lying.
He's not understand.
Well, first of all, look, dude, I'm married so
I'm not worried about myself at this point.
Like I'm just trying to help you.
But anyway, like they, I don't know why they can't just follow the money.
People are making a killing the diluting these guys and
stringing them along when it's really not that complicated.
Like there's an increase in, you know,
the single lonely man here, lots of people are still in relationships and
it ain't difficult to figure out how that process works necessarily.
Now there's a lot of influences here,
not everyone who's not in this obviously isn't an insult.
Not everyone responds with misogyny and hatred and fear and violence and all that.
But they do seem to be like driving the conversation on places like Reddit and
stuff like that and that's my fear