(music)
- [Micaela] Hi Lon
Hey. I didn't say you could come.
Kit go.
Ah.
Come on. You can come.
Yeah, you can come.
All right let's put this on.
Hey guys, how's it going? Long time no chat.
I, uh, today's a beautiful day.
And I wanted to go outside. I wanted to walk the dog.
I wanted to see the Sakura and I also wanted
to just check in and say hi and tell you
how things are going and sort of
talk about the future of this channel.
If that's okay with you.
The last time that I made a video
on this channel we were living
in the countryside in Kyushu and it was
really far away from everything and it was
really hard to live there especially
after my boyfriend quit his job.
Once my boyfriend quit his job to become a freelancer
he was never home and I was pretty much
just stuck out there with the pets
and it, it got really depressing.
So I decided for the sake of my mental health
and also just for the better well-being
of everybody else that we should move back to Fukuoka City.
For me the choice to move back to Fukuoka City
was super simple. Um, it's expanding so fast
and I feel like there's always something exciting
going on here. It's still very easy to live
in comparison to Tokyo and I just love it.
So I think coming back here was definitely
the right choice for us.
(dog whining)
(speaks japanese)
Ready? Let's go. (laughter)
Right now we're living in one of my
favorite spots in Fukuoka City,
right where I think I've always wanted to live.
I've always wanted to live close
to Maizuru and Ohori Park.
It's one of my favorite places in the city.
And now we are a short walk away
and Kit and I can come here anytime.
(soft mood music)
But it feels really good to live here now
and I think I wouldn't have made the decision
and I wouldn't have gotten this far
if I didn't start treating my depression seriously.
I've definitely learned through the past year
that people don't really get what depression is
if they haven't experienced it themselves
and it doesn't necessarily mean I'm like hysterically crazy.
It really just means that, like, after an amount of time
being exposed to things that didn't make me so happy
I forgot what happiness was and I forgot how to feel happy
and I felt like I was constantly
in a state of, like, fight or flight
where it's like, anytime I was faced
with something I didn't like I either shut it out and,
like, shut off my brain and zoned out completely or
I would get really aggressive and that's not
it's not a fun way to live.
(light upbeat music)
Look at how pretty this road is.
There's so many Sakura blooming on this one street.
- [Micaela] Can you sit? Oh you're such a good dog.
You're such a good dog, look at you.
Good boy.
And I do think that it was because I started
handling how I was feeling and dealing with my mental health
I was able to figure out the steps I needed to take
to get my life back in, on track
and feel in control of myself again.
And moving back to Fukuoka, especially moving
central to the city, into a place where
I never have to feel isolated or alone
but I can still have my space if I need it
is like the best of both worlds
and I like it so much more.
I feel like it's one of the best choices,
best decisions I could have made for myself.
So my resolution for this year,
at the very beginning of the year
was to eat healthier and to take
care of myself more and I've been exercising,
I've been kind of trying to lose the weight
that I gained from hibernating the past year.
And, you know just trying to get back
into the things that used to make me happy.
And yeah, one of the things I'm trying
to get back into now is vlogging.
So I've been slowly working on
getting back into vlogging and
you guys might have noticed but I've been doing a few
major projects like travel, tourism related projects
on this channel and for the next week or so
you're going to see a few more videos.
I'm going to upload three I think over the next seven days.
But then after that, from April
it's gonna be, it's gonna be all new.
And I know you've been missing the vlog content.
I know you've been missing the chatty videos
and I just, I was really not confident,
especially when I, when I weighed more (giggles)
but I hope you understand that I
just did not feel comfortable sitting
in front of a camera and being judged when I felt
the lowest I've ever felt in my life.
- [Woman] (japanese) You're home. How was your walk?
- [Micaela] Hi Lon. (speaks japanese)
All right, so, we're home now.
I'm about to throw this SD card into my laptop,
edit this vlog and throw it online.
It's the first time in a really long
that I've shot a vlog and edited it and uploaded it
and sub-titled it on the same day
so it's gonna be a grind but I am really
looking forward to, to saying hi to you guys,
letting you know that I did miss you.
I just, I couldn't handle the criticism for awhile
and I hope that you could understand why
cuz the internet, it can be a very, it can be a toxic place.
Finally, I just want to remind you again that
this week there will be three,
Japan experience, travel type videos going up
and I hope that you guys are okay with that.
I know that you've been missing the vlogs
but I want to assure you, promise you
that I missed you too and I will be back soon.
Thank you so much for watching. (kissing) Bye.