what's the dichotomy in having an ego when is it good and when does he get to
a point where you have to check your ego okay so the dichotomy is pretty clear
ego drives you absolutely it makes you want to win it makes you want to perform
well it makes you proud of your achievements makes you want to be number
one and those are all good things and I fully fully have those myself
I mean my ego will keep me up at night trying to win at some ridiculously
meaningless thing in the world especially when I was younger it was
kind of stupid but the ego can also get you in trouble get you in trouble really
really quickly for instance I mean look you can your ego can make you sabotage
your coworker that's on the same team as you so that you can outshine them right
that's ego you can vote down a plan a better plan
because that plan isn't yours you can chase some material items some things
something that you don't really need maybe in some cases it might even be
something that you don't actually even want and it's just fueling your ego
which is which is a really bizarre thing to see it can make you step on your
subordinates right it can make you undercut your peers because that ego
flares up it can make you your ego can make you dig in dig in on some stupid
ideas that you've had those the kind of things that ego do and all those things
are negative so that's pretty clear to me where ego starts going sideways and
and I would say even though like my ego always fueled me to to
wanna win but I'd never was that out of control where I was like screw and
screwing people over because I wanted to win no I wouldn't do that
that wasn't part of my personality wasn't I'm not that boss I was never
really naturally good at much so it wasn't like I was gonna wear the only
way I could be people when things was better out working them yeah other than
that I it would be hard for me yeah usually that kind of person who like you
more than the two kinds of people one who is down to like screw someone over
or basically cheat you didn't cheat II this is what you're doing it's like I
want to be here i they don't necessarily want to quote unquote win because if you
cheat it's not really winning you know the whole benefit of winning is
like overcoming certain things you know but when you cheat us like you know I
mean you cheated you know whatever so it's less about it's more about you
understanding really what winning is and that's what you like
the winning you know yes yeah that's why so like people undermine you know gene
do this stuff it's like they don't want to win it's like a good case in point
when I remember a win when I was going to SEAL training there was people there
was guys that would like brag about it they were going through the same SEAL
training class me same buds class me but they would like brag about it and like
you could hear him talking to let's say some random person yeah.well on the SEAL
training I wasn't bragging about that I was like
I'm a more lucky I'm here and I realized that Aloha those people quit because
they were comfortable they did just being able to say like SEAL training
they were already good with it they were like I I did what I'm supposed to do
yeah so me I wouldn't want to do that I didn't want to say anything until I made
it through yeah and so yeah so what I'm saying is similar to what you're saying
they were satisfied just by being able to throw that out there that was enough
for them so for someone that's willing to cheat and win or their eat they're
willing to step on someone that doesn't feel good to me that's never felt good
to me like if I get a step on someone I don't want it I don't want that victory
don't want it so it's like they wanna some people want to look like they want
and other people want to really win yeah of course that's really the difference
yeah yeah so back to the ego point when you start feeling like you're doing some
of those negative things that's when you've gotta put your ego in check
that's what you gotta support your coworker instead of sabotage and that's
when you got to pick the best plan out there instead of picking your own that's
when you say you know what I'm happy with what I have instead of chasing
things that I don't even need you know I'm talking over people like if you were
there's been something that you wanted even though you actually didn't even
really want it but you just want it just cuz you because pure ego
pure ego yeah like when you're in the wait well in growing up like lifting
weights sometimes to do this where they be lifting weights and you can see a lot
of times in these like like a 24 hour fitness situation where you believe that
guys will be lifting weights and then one guy will think he's lifting kind of
a lot you'll see someone all of a sudden be doing that same exercise like trying
to live more than night he doesn't know him not lifting with him he wasn't even
doing that exercise so it wasn't even his work up but he'll like try to do it
you know but you weren't even doing that exercise you weren't doing bench today
yeah and now you're doing bench yeah chasing something you don't even want
you don't need it that day that's another big one is like when I talk
about subordinates instead of cutting down your subordinates you start lifting
them up you start making them shine you start giving them the credit making them
shine even brighter than yourself that's that's the beautiful thing when
you can put your ego in check and you can make that happen
making your own boss look good having an open mind to new ideas those are the
things that's how you put your ego and check those or the things that those are
the those are the hallmarks of having your ego in check now sometimes people
don't know when they need to put their ego in check and I think there's one
really easy indicator to know when you need to just at least like do an
assessment of your ego and that is when you come into conflict with another
person because because a huge percentage of
conflicts that you have with other people are ego yeah are their ego and so
when you feel that conflict whether it's about positioning whether it's about an
idea whether it's about a plan whether it's about a little no matter what's
about but if I'm in conflict with you on something I immediately I'm gonna say
okay wait a second is this your ego talking no or are you is is this
business or is this ego yeah and if you do that you will find yourself you know
any form of frustration or anger that you have just check your ego and there's
a good chance that you're gonna be able to take that thing get a hold of it and
aggressively put it in check it's hard your ego is a tough bastard your ego man
that thing wants the spotlight it wants to shine it wants the glory and it's
it's driven you know that's a lot of you high achievers out there that's what's
driving you and it's not a bad thing so when it comes time to harness that
bad-boy it can be a challenge but it's very rewarding when you make it happen
it's it's rewarding in a long-term gratification it's not immediate
gratification generally you know you're given you're giving your subordinates
all the credit for some for some project that they did you know that you could
actually know that you did the bulk of the work would you give it away
that's not gratifying immediately immediately is like yeah that's right
put the accolades on my head boss that's immediate gratification that you're
looking for it no you say hey boss you know what don't put the accolades on my
head look at my team let's crown them because they really did a great job you
know I'm just here to help them there's no crowd application in that but when
you get feedback a week later a month later six months later people want to
come and work for your team now your team gets picked for another project
that's the long term gratification that you get when you keep your ego in check
yeah
keep that ego in check people