- Kanye the giant slaps that bitch.
- Oh.
- Kanye the giant attempts to slap the bartender, here.
The bartender is half Hobbit and very nimble.
So you're going to have to roll an 18 or above to hit.
20.
- Blip.
Slap that Hobbit's (beep) off, yo.
- [Steven] Okay.
(upbeat music)
- So you can say as much as you want.
- But you can't say the name of the celebrity
or any part of their name.
Got it?
- Yeah. - Yeah, we got it.
- No, we got it.
- No, you are so gonna lose.
- Oh, you're going down.
- Why don't you start the timer and be amazed.
- And go.
- Okay, this guys, E equals MC squared.
- Albert Einstein.
- Yes, that is correct.
- Oh, that's not fair. - What?
Easy, hello?
- Okay, this is the Terminator.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay we got, talking about,
are you talking to me?
Are you talking to me? - Oh, Robert De Niro.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(cheering)
- This person pretend to be straight,
but he's really gay. - Me.
- He is, excuse me, he's living the vida loca.
- Me.
- Okay.
- He's a Latin pop star.
- I'm not a Latin pop star.
- No, you're not.
It's not you.
He bangs, he bangs.
- Oh, Ricky Martin.
- That is correct.
- I wrote that one too.
(dinging)
(intense music)
- [Steven] Greetings, adventurers.
- Greetings. - Greeting.
- As you all can see here,
we have a new traveler in our ranks.
This is my cousin, Tyrell
and he will be controlling the player character.
- His name is Kanye.
He's a giant, yo.
- Dear cousin,
traditionally a giant is not assumed by a player,
it is a chaotic evil.
- But I wanna be a giant, yo.
All big.
- Okay. Fine.
Well, travelers, you are joined on your adventure today
by a giant named Kanye.
Now, when last we left you,
you were at the end of the north star
in the tower of Isildore.
How would you begin your adventure?
- I wanna get some bitches.
Where the club at at Isildore, yo?
- Tyrell, this is highly unusual,
I think the guys probably just wanna go on the quest
that we've already-
- [Player] Steven? - Yes.
- I'd like to join Kanye the giant in his quest.
- Seriously?
All right.
The two of you enter Pitavord, what do you say?
- Kanye the giant orders Alize.
- So as the barkeep, I know not of this foreign beverage
of which you speak, perhaps you'd enjoy an elded ale.
- No, we both want the Alize.
- Alize dones not exist in this world.
- Kanye the giant slaps that bitch.
- Oh.
- Kanye the giant attempts to slap the bartender, here.
The bartender is half Hobbit and very nimble.
So you're gonna have to roll an 18 or above to hit.
20.
- Blip, slap the Hobbits (beep) off, yo.
- Okay.
- Gullak the cleric,
would you care to restrain Kanye the giant
before the town guard is called?
- I grab money out of the register.
- But Gullak the cleric is lawful good,
this act of thievery would dishonor his gods.
- Hey man, the only gods is money and bitches, dude.
- I accepted Kanye the giants gods,
and I steal some of the money too.
- You too?
Okay.
Would you now like to continue your quest
for the lands of Kaldohor.
- Fellas, we came here for bitches.
Where the bitches at?
- All right, you'll see a bevy of well endowed wenches.
- Great, I grab them bitches and we all go in my SUV.
- Fine, Kanye the giant, Udar the dwarf,
and Gullak the cleric climb into his SUV with their bitches
and their ill gotten games.
- And our Alize.
Plus Kanye the giant puts his demo CD
in the CD player.
- No, he doesn't, there are no CDs in this world.
You know what?
Do whatever you want.
- All right, I guess I'm the dungeon master now.
The eye of Odon opens up.
16 titties fallout.
- Yeah.
- Hurrah.
- What? That's amazing.
- He's so good at this. - Amazing
- I know, look at your points.
- Oh, oh, oh.
- Nice, nice.
- Dude, you have absolutely mastered this game.
- Since Sheila left,
I've been spending a lot of time here playing the game.
- You're doing really good.
- Thank you.
- That's why we're here, man.
Help you get over her
and check out this awesome new game you have.
- Yay.
- You know, I left something in another room.
Excuse me, everyone.
- Oh, he still has the sensors on.
Is that him in his room. - Oh, look.
Yeah, you can see him, that's funny.
What is he doing?
Is he on his knees?
Did he drop to his knees?
- Oh.
He's probably looking for-
- No look, he's crying.
He's crying.
Oh, no.
- He's just-
- No, he's shuttering, he's shuttering.
Is he fetal?
Yeah, he curled up.
Look at that, he's fetal.
- Hey Craig, buddy.
You all right up there?
- Yeah, I'm coming right now.
- Okay.
Hey, man, you all right?
- Yes, yeah.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's just that my sinuses are acting up.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was, you know, I was just thinking about Sheila
and you know what?
I am totally over her.
- Awesome. - Awesome.
Hey, let's get this party started.
- Sure.
Oh.
I forgot to get rid of this picture of Sheila, excuse me.
- Hey, maybe he leaves the sensor so one of us can play.
- Oh, he's dancing.
He's dancing with the photo.
Is he, he's doing this a bunch, is he kissing it?
- Guys, we don't-
- I think he's kissing it.
- You know what, I'm gonna turn this off.
'Cause we don't need to- - You change it and you die.
He's undoing his buckle, look at this.
His pants are coming off, his pants are coming off.
Oh God.
- [Jordan] Yeah.
- [Woman] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- Okay, that's happening.
- Oh no, no, no, is he, he's totally on the bed.
He's totally flat on the bed.
- [Jordan] Oh, maybe he's shaking a can of hairspray.
- Oh God.
Oh, gross.
We shouldn't be, okay.
You know.
- I see reaching down for his foot?
- [Jordan] I don't-
- That's his foot isn't it?
Is that a foot?
- And coming back, coming back.
- I am sorry everybody.
Would you like me to make some snacks?
- Wash your hands first.
- Man, Tyrell 'bout to come out here right now, watch this.
Watch this, watch this.
Yo, Tyrell.
- Yo, what up, Laurence?
- Hey man, you wanna play front hand, back hand?
- I don't know that game, man.
- It's easy, dog.
All you gotta do is say front hand then back hand.
- All right, front hand.
(laughing)
Bam, I got you sucker.
- Oh, okay, okay.
I see how it is now.
- Come on man, come on, you know that was funny.
- Back hand.
- Huh?
- It's still my move, right?
I choose back hand this time.
- Really? - Back hand!
(laughing)
God damn.
- Look, Ty, I'm sorry.
But I ain't sorry, you know what I mean?
I mean, you literally asked for it.
- Front hand.
- What? No.
Why you wanna hit-
- I got it, I figured it out, front hand.
No, back hand, back hand.
- No, look, look, dude.
Hey, if you want me to slap you across the face, back hand,
I'll do it, okay?
Don't think I won't do it,
but you know that I'm (beep) with you, right?
I mean, there ain't no game called front hand,
back hand.
- Oh.
- Right, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, I get it, I get it.
All right, all right, all right.
As soon as I get good at front hand, back hand,
you wanna stop playing.
- Play what, man?
I made it up so I can smack you in the face.
- I'm about to smack you in the face,
as soon as it's my turn, back hand.
- There ain't no turns 'cause it ain't no game.
- You ain't got no game.
Back hand.
Front hand.
- Look, I don't know if you (beep) with me at this point
or what,
but I don't wanna smack a (beep) no more.
(laughing)
- Where you going then?
Okay, forfeit.
Forfeit, I win.
I win front hand, back hand.
Okay, me and you.
Me and you, me and you.
Back hand.
(upbeat music)