? Ominous Film Noir Music?
Private Eye: I remember it like it was yesterday
and it only happened this morning.
? Epic Noir Intro Music ?
? Ominous Music ?
? Phone Notifications ?
? knocking ?
Femme Fatale: Private Ilse, I need your help!
I am being followed by a sadistic
shadowy presence wherever I go.
Private Eye: this wasn’t the first time
I’d been asked about footprints,
shadows and otherwise.
Lately,
it’s all anybody talks about.
Femme Fatale: Say something!
Anything!
Are you having a voice over right now?
I don’t know where to go.
I don’t know what to do.
Employers won’t look at me.
Friends won’t talk to me.
Oh, I’m just so afraid.
Private Eye: Here’s a question kid,
ever Google yourself?
Femme Fatale: Not recently.
Private Eye: Listen
we leave digital traces behind.
They’re all stored as cookies.
Femme Fatale: I used to love cookies.
Private Eye: You’re living an online life kid.
Everything you do: Facebook posts,
Twitter,
Instagram,
Texts,
Phone Calls.
It’s all there.
It’s all traceable.
It goes from here, to here, to there,
and everything follows you.
Even when you online shop.
Femme Fatale: (GASP)
In Kazakhstan.
Even Winnipeg!
It’s awfully cold in Winnipeg.
Femme Fatale: That can’t be true!
The internet isn’t a real place?
Private Eye: You’re fooling yourself Slim.
Everywhere you roam,
everything you post,
everything you type,
everything you look at,
it’s all being followed.
Femme Fatale: I've got to delete my browser history immediately!
Private Eye: Listen cookie.
It’s too late for that.
That ship has sailed.
It’s how to the harbor.
It’s sunk.
Femme Fatale: I’ve done so many things.
I’ve said so many things.
Private Eye: let’s take a look.
bet I can find all about you in a second.
Femme Fatale: It’s never occurred to me that
anything I put online will ever come back to me like this.
Private Eye: Let’s see where you’ve been kid.
Discriminatory remarks?
Cyberbullying?
Drunken photos?
References to illicit drugs?
Armchair activism?
Promoting stereotypes?
And hey,
are you holding a gun in this photo?
Shaming mothers on Mom Swap sites?
ooooh
you’re brave behind that keyboard kid.
And all this is as easy as a quick scroll
or a screen shot away.
Femme Fatale: I didn’t think this would have
all these repercussions over some unintentional acts!
I...
what I was saying was all wrong.
How do I fix this?
Private Eye: Listen.
Not even Beyoncé can control the internet.
You’ve got to change your behavior
and you gotta clean up your act.
Femme Fatale: Where do I even begin?
How do I reclaim my social consciousness
and social media savvy?
What do I do?
How do I start all over?
Private Eye: You don’t behave like that in “real life,”
so why would you behave like that on the internet?
You have to show empathy.
You have to avoid assumptions.
And most of all
You have to think before you post.