so flirting with women when you look for information on this topic on the
internet and i have actually done that you find a lot of very generic advice.
like people want to tell you that basically flirting is smiling or looking
friendly making her laugh or stuff like that that's not flirting flirting is
actually something very specific something that i've broken down into a
simple formula which i'm going to give you in this video and then i'm also
going to explain to you how to put it in practice and i'll give you some examples
of how simple this can be anyone can do this but you need to learn to enjoy the
process and that's what it's all about so whenever a coaching client asks me
about flirting i give them first of all my very simple three-part flirt formula
when you're doing this you are flirting with somebody step
number one you need to be communicating with somebody yeah so you need to be
actually engaged with somebody in front of you or on the phone it's okay awesome
works basically by text but you know really you want to have as many senses
involved as possible step number two and this is very simple
you need to have some sexual thoughts bisexual thoughts i mean like you think
oh this girl she's attractive i find her attractive
you think about what you find attractive about her now those thoughts will
naturally come in if you just relax a little and breathe and enjoy the moment
the third step really is this you need to enjoy those sexual thoughts
or the sort of the images that come into your mind
and just relax enough to let it affect how you're
communicating with her so let it seep into your communication how you speak
that means your voice tone maybe even the words you use
so the words you're choosing and also your body language it's very simple and
that's how you can use exactly the same words
and on the one side sound professional like for example now
you're looking good today and on the other side sound flirtatious
you're looking good today yeah complete difference in terms of the
intention and in terms of what comes across you can affect the person with
the same words in all kinds of other ways because it's all about body
language face expression
intention voice tone and when you're having sexual
thoughts coming in and images and you can enjoy them you naturally
start to flirt now i'm never somebody that gives people
lines and stuff and i don't think it really helps you in
the long term what helps is to understand what it feels like and to
experience it so even when you're watching this think about this okay i'm
sitting here with a camera and i can literally pretend that i'm
having sexual thoughts about the camera because i'm used to the state
so it's about getting used to the state in
situations where you actually have girls in front of you or just think about what
it would feel like to have sexual thoughts and to breathe with it and to
enjoy them and to communicate with somebody at the same time it should be
pleasant pleasurable and fun for you
and automatically even though you're not doing anything
extra consciously you should come across as a bit flirtatious at that point
make sense so here are the steps to make this super easy
to get into that state step number one has to be to relax if you're holding
tension in your body if you're like nervous or whatever then you cannot
flirt flirting is impossible if you are busy stressing about yourself or
something you have to be relaxed for flirting you have to be a little bit in
flow relax your body breathe out that usually helps to relax
and just really get into a state where you are comfortable physically and
mentally and emotionally as much as you can now the great thing is when you
start flirting and you get used to it it will be that as a side effect so you
will get comfortable from it the second step is the following you
need to start having some fun allow yourself to enjoy just being there
being in front of a girl just talking to somebody enjoy their presence now most
guys find out really hard so you have to get used to this idea of a girl being an
instrument of pleasure for you in a way okay she's obviously a person and i'm
not saying you treat her like a tool but what i'm saying is you treat her with
appreciation and you appreciate what you have in
front of you okay and that can also include how how attractive she is
what you like about her it's okay to notice these things and it's okay
to develop sexual thoughts from those things and it's even okay to enjoy them
but we'll get to that step in a minute third step is really important start to
enjoy really good eye contact enjoy the contact enjoy the eye contact with her
it really helps it takes you out of yourself you're starting to get excited
by actually looking at her and that's perfect so enjoy the eye contact and
look at her doing things and appreciate what you have in front of you as i said
in the last point the fourth step that will really help you get into the right
state is to listen really well so you have good eye contact now you've relaxed
you started to think about i'm not going to make this fun and then you listen
really well and you pick up not just on the words she says but also on the
intonation and also on her body language and so by listening i also mean observe
listen observe and really taking her in and start to react to what you're
getting it takes you out of your own head it takes you out of your big
relationship with yourself and it gets you out there for flirting you have to
be out there the next mini step that will
help you is to mirror some of the things she's saying and some
of the things that you're observing and that you're hearing
back to her with body language with voice tone
with maybe even the words that you're saying so in the pinky lingar program
for example if you have it there are so many techniques where you can basically
use the words that she's using back to her and play with them in
different ways and that's a great way of mirroring her and picking up on her vibe
with the actual words but you can also do this with the voice tone so for
example she says oh you know i really like it here and you go oh you really
like it here yeah it's it's almost you're doing two things at the same time
you're kind of playing around a little bit with the
with the tone of voice but you're also using similar words right so there's
lots of different ways it's difficult to explain in a short youtube video but
there's lots of techniques in the pipio linga program if you have it already if
you don't obviously get it it's a great investment
in your conversation skills and in your flirting skills but you can also use
body language in subtle ways and just like
start to gently you know tune into her body because you know what flooding is
also really when you think about it foreplay
very early foreplay because you are already starting to tune
into each other's bodies into your voices into the words you're saying it
becomes very enjoyable and this must be enjoyable i see that again if this is
not fun for you you're not really flirting that's flooding okay
it should get a little bit hotter in the room when you're really flirting with a
girl for her and for you and you could pick it up from her as well she should
start to you know
get a little turned on yeah otherwise you're not
really doing it now at this point i think it's going to be incredibly
difficult for you not to get any sexual thoughts or any sexual images coming
into your mind if you actually get to this point and you've gone through these
steps in a way and you layer them on top of each other even half
then you're going to be in a flirtatious state and then all you have to do is
keep breathing keep relaxing keep having fun keep tuning into her and just
let all that flow through you and communicate with her i'm starting to
feel very flirtatious now which is very weird like i'm i'm in that state now
where something like you're looking good today
turns into you're looking good today yeah or you're looking good today
now maybe out of context now that sounds
really weird and creepy but imagine that you're in front of somebody and you have
tuned into each other and then all of a sudden that has a very different vibe
because it's a bit like yeah it's a bit like you're about to have sex
basically because that's what flirting is a precursor to yeah so it needs to
feel a little light
at the same time a little sexual
because otherwise it's just like being friendly with somebody so i'm talking
about the kind of flirting that you would do on a date and you want things
to get a little bit more interesting and you know turn it into a
date rather than a pleasant chat with a stranger don't obviously do this
straight away the first time you see somebody although there have been
occasions when literally you get into this pretty quickly
with the right girl when you're both feeling it always realize that this is
something that happens between two people you can't flirt at somebody you
really have to flirt with somebody so always take it step by step and really
if you just focus on the first five steps like you know having fun
breathing relaxing enjoying yourself really listening
really taking her in great eye contact it's difficult not to get into a
flirtatious state unless you're really not attracted to her
oh she just gives you nothing okay so that's my little overview to get into
flirting and i think you're going to be able to use this better than if i gave
you like three lines to flirt with any girl or something i'll see you in the
next one [Music]