Hey there. This is clay with modern love.life. And in this video, we're going to be talking
about a few signs that your ex already moved on. Moving on is a, is an interesting topic
because people think that they know what it means, but they really don't know what it
means. Many times we think that moving on just means, okay, I'm dating other people,
therefore I've moved on or something like that, or, okay. I, I have zero feelings for
you cause I'm, I'm a statue or something like that. Therefore I have moved on. But that,
that, that's not exactly what it means. What moving on actually means is that we're not
in reaction to the breakup anymore. And that we can actually have an intentional interaction
with our ex or with someone else, um, moving forward. And this is actually a good thing.
We actually want our X to move on because now they can intentionally interact with us
rather than just acting in some sort of impulsive, emotional way where they're acting petty.
They're trying to get revenge. They're trying to do something just out of some sort of emotional
impulse. Okay. Moving on is actually a good thing in a lot of ways, but let's go ahead
and get into a few signs that, uh, this might be happening. So of course, obviously the
first one is that they're not, uh, reacting in an overly emotional sort of way. Don't
get me wrong. People can all often fake this, you know, they can just sort of like stuff
it down, you
Know, pretend like, yeah, I don't, I don't feel anything towards you at all. I never
felt anything towards you at all. In fact, I think I never cared
About you. Right. And obviously that's, that's not genuine, right? Like assuming the two
of you had a real relationship, um, they obviously felt something for you. And so if they're
just trying to paper over it and pretend like they just never cared or they couldn't care
less or something like that, it's probably disingenuous. But if they're just, you know,
like, yeah, you know, we, we, we had a good run and we, we had some good times together.
Um, but you know what happened happened, and we just have to accept it and moved on, uh,
you know, if that's coming from a really genuine place then, okay. That's what moving on means.
Okay. Now of course where they're at, as they think moving on means moving on in a different
relationship. And maybe it does, I don't know, but at least if they're emotionally at a place
where they're not just impulsively reacting in some way where it's like, oh yeah, well,
you did this and I'm never talking to you because you're that kind of person. And I
couldn't believe that you would dare to do this to me and disrespect me in such a crazy
like that. That's obviously an emotional kind of response, right? Uh, that means that they're
definitely not over you in that case. This includes things like rebound relationships
and all that stuff as well too. Anyway, but that's the first side. Are you getting a calm,
intentional, measured, um, response from them or is it emotional in nature? Even if it's
just sort of like papered over to the point where they're, uh, you know, trying to, I
Don't, I just don't care. I don't care. I don't care at all. You can say whatever you
want. I just don't care
Like that. Obviously that's fake. Right. Next sign is can they have a reasonable interaction
with you without suppressing any sort of instability, right? So are they able to interact with you
in a reasonable sort of way without feeling like they have to suppress it, put on that
false mask of like, I could care less, right? So you have be able to see through this a
little bit, you have to be able to be present, be engaged in the moment, have empathy, all
of these advanced relational skills we've talked about before, by the way, we have a
whole video playlist on advanced relational skills up there, it is a huge cornerstone
about what we teach and what our philosophy is all about and what a lot of our students
have had success with. So please check that out. If that is new to you, um, you should
be able to tell if this is real or if this is just them stuffing it down and trying to
pretend like they've got it all together.
If you are dialed into the advanced relational skills, you should be able to know this, but
basically if they're having a reasonable interaction with you, that's emotionally balanced out.
That makes sense for what's happening between the two of you. And, you know, they're, they're
being emotionally genuine and honest, then you should be able to know that like, okay,
this is at least a genuine and honest conversation we're having here. And they're not just trying
to, you know, paper it over with some sort of pretense or some sort of act of, you know,
yeah, I've got it all together. Or, or you're some sort of terrible jerk or something like
that. Like I was just, role-playing a moment ago. So as we, as we go forward into this,
into this last thing here, you know, if you do like these videos that we're doing, please
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for things to do next time on YouTube. But anyway, basically your ex has moved on. If
you want to see that as a positive way or in a negative way, if they are able to interact
with you in any interaction that they have with you is based off of intention rather
than reaction.
Okay. So are they just doing something because you did it and they're just trying to do the
opposite because they're a contrarian or something like that, or are they just consciously doing
something because it makes the most sense for them. That's really the main measure about
whether or not they are reacting or whether or not they are intentionally doing something.
It's the main measure between whether or not they have moved on or whether or not they're
still emotionally stuck in this. And once again, this can be a positive thing or a negative
thing, like just because they're dating someone else, just because they aren't a rebound relationship
doesn't mean that they've moved on. That relationship could be a reaction to the relationship that
they had with you. We have a whole video playlist on rebound relationships. There's all sorts
of things like displacement, there's all sorts of things like dating someone.
Who's the exact carbon copy of you or the exact polar opposite of you. These are obviously
not signs that someone has moved on. Um, or they intentionally doing something and they're
like, you know what? Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to start dating someone
now and it's going to be super intentional because I process my emotions. And I know
I've always wanted to be in a relationship with someone like this who has this quality
and blah, blah, blah, all that sort of stuff. In which case it's not a reaction to you,
but it's an intentional move forward for them. If that's what's happening. Um, then that's,
that's probably like them moving on. On the other hand, you know, them having an intentional
interaction with you where the two of you can be real with one another. That's them
moving on as well too. The two of you can move on together, hopefully. And the two of
you can actually create a new beginning together. If both of you are willing to move on. If
both of you are willing to intentionally create something together rather than just emotionally
reacting to things from the past. So, um, if that is something that you want some help
with, we of course do have our course called the X solution program. You can find that
over at modernlove.life
Slash E S P there's also a link to that down in the description box below.
But once again, thank you so much, take care. And if you did like this video, please make
sure you hit the thumbs up button and leave a comment down below letting me know what
sorts of videos you'd like to see next, take care. And I'll talk to you soon.