Alright, how do you make him miss you? So we've done a couple of videos
on Exes and long distance stuff, but this is the core video. And in this video I'm going
to describe how to make a guy miss you. And the two things, the only two things you need
to make a man miss you. I'll see you in just a second.
[Music]
How do you make a guy miss you? Okay, so if you've seen my video on How
To Spot Bad Dating Advice, which you should watch if you haven't. Link. Link. You'll know
that on this particular topic, there is a lot of bad advice out there. So I really wanted
to cover this one well for you guys. There's advice like orchestrate conflict, use another
guy, play hot and cold. There's all this sort of stuff around. But the reality is, if you
want a guy to miss you for the right reasons, you only need two things. Number one, you
simply need this - he has to associate you with positive emotional experiences. The more
positive the emotional experiences he associates you with, the more he's going to miss you
when those experiences aren't around. And number two, he needs the space to appreciate
those experiences. In other words, he needs a feeling of freedom that he can come to you.
So it's not freedom to date other people, but the freedom that he has
the option to come to you for those emotional experiences, you're not pulling him. He has
the freedom to come on his own. All right? So if you want a guy to miss you, he has to
associate you with positive emotional experiences and he has to have the freedom to choose to
come to you for those experience. If you can do both of those, you have this in the bag.
Now how do you do that? Well, it has to start before he leaves. So if you're asking how
to make a guy miss you, a lot of the time it's because that guy is going away or because
that guy is leaving for a period of time. Whatever it is, but if your situation is different,
by the way, leave it in the comments.
But for most women who ask me, how do I make this guy miss me? It's because
the guy is leaving going somewhere. Now, if you wait until he's left to make him miss
you, you've already missed the best period of time, the best chance to get the guy to
miss you when he's away. If you want a guy miss you, it starts before he leaves. So what
do you need again? Positive emotional experiences, freedom to appreciate those experiences and
to come to you for them four weeks before he leaves. How do you start doing that? You
be the best fucking girlfriend he's ever had. You do all the things that he loves about
you. You're an incredible loyal supporter. You're his best friend, companion. You have
the best sex that he's ever had with him. You are secure, providing with security and
loyalty in the relationship and you're doing your own thing in your own life, which is
bringing excitement to his love and giving him the freedom already to come to you and
appreciate what you bring to his life.
See if you're doing this right, the guy should already be missing you.
Not cause he's gone away. But because you went out on the night with the girls or because
you went to yoga class or because you're at uni all day, if you're being the best girlfriend
you can be, which by the way, you're not doing to make him miss you. Hopefully you just want
to be the best girlfriend, whether he's going away or not. But if you're doing all that
already, that guy will be naturally missing you day to day when you're not around, when
your light is not shining directly on his life, even for short periods of time, he's
already going to be missing you. And this period before he leaves is the time that you
want to set this up. But it's something that you just shouldn't be doing all the time.
It's just being the best girlfriend you can possibly be.
You'd want him to be the best boyfriend for you and you're going to
miss him. So you do him the same in return. Not because you're trying to make him miss
you, just because you love him. But what happens in most cases is the second issue. And the
second thing that happens before a guy leaves is that rather than being the woman you were
when you met him, the carefree, relaxed, happy person who brought all these positive emotional
experiences to his life, something shifts and you start projecting your insecurities
onto him. So the first thing you want to do is be an awesome girlfriend. But the second
thing you want to do before he goes away is not project your insecurities onto him. As
soon as you start doing that, those positive emotional experiences that he's related you
to start to disappear, start to chip away.
You see you're worried that he's going away and that's normal. You, you're
worried. You know, you know he's an attractive guy. He's going to be happy when he's away.
He's got a great energy. He's a good looking dude. You like him. He's going to be drawing
women into him and you know that. And deep down, you know, the better time that he has
when he's away, the more women he's going to attract and the more options he's going
to have. And you're not going to be there to control that. And so you let your insecurities
creep in and more and more before he goes away, the conversation start becoming about
who's he going to be with, where's he going to be? You're constantly seeking reassurance
from him and these positive emotional experiences that he was getting from you start taking
this nosedive into the ground to the point where if you really push him, all he wants
to do is get away and leave because he feels so trapped and the emotional experiences he's
starting to relate you two are so much more negative.
Let me give you an example from my own life. My previous girlfriend,
amazing woman, I remember two times, she went away once, was just for a few days and once
a, sorry, second time was for a few weeks. Now in each of those times I knew that she
was going to be out there. She's going to be social. She's gorgeous. She's going to
be meeting tons and tons of men. In fact, in the smaller trip, the three day trip, she
was actually sleeping in the tents of one of the guys that I knew was into her. So she's
going to be going away for all this time partying, having fun at our absolute best and most attractive
state. So what are I options? I can either project my insecurities, I can seek reassurance,
I can tell her that I want her to call every night. I can be constantly pulling her to
come to me, which really I'm doing because of my own insecurities and honestly makes
me a bad boyfriend. Why am I trying to make her miserable?
See, if we're honest, there's a deep part of all of us that doesn't want
our partners to go away and have a good time. And if you're honest with me, I think you'll
admit that's there. There's part of us that knows that there'll be less attractive to
other people if they're miserable their whole holiday. If they're sitting there sad and
gloomy and missing us, what chances they have of attracting someone else? There's part of
that insecure girl on you and there's part of that insecure boy in me. But we can't let
that insecure person reflect on who we are and reflect in the way we react to our partners
because that's not what the high value woman would do. And that's not what the fucking
man in me would do. So when your partner goes away, what did I choose to do? I said, have
the best fucking time in the world.
Enjoy yourself. Get out, party, meet lots of people, have a great time.
And I meant every word because I loved her and that's what's best for her. And if you
want that for your partner, if you truly love your partner, you want him to go away and
you want him to have a great time. You want him to enjoy himself and you trust him. And
when he feels that trust from you, the irony is he's going to miss you even more because
you're not trying to control him anymore. You're not trying to make those experiences
negative for him. You're saying go away. Have a great time. Enjoy yourself. You're not projecting
your insecurities, you're checking your shit and realizing that that's you. And when you
show that you trust him, when you show that you have faith in him, that he could sleep
in another girl's tent and that you still have full faith in him and that you want him
to have fun, you show what a high value woman you are.
And even if there is that little part of you, that insecure part that
thinks, "Oh, I wish he was miserable," you don't let that come out in your actions. And
so until the moment he leaves, nothing changes. All he's getting from you is positive emotional
experiences, encouragement to go, and he's getting the freedom to come to you. He's going
to want to call you. He's going to want to text you and he's going to want to connect
with you while he's on that holiday. And this is how you have to look at this situation
because the irony is when you wish a guy has a great time without you, when you tell him
to go and have fun, go and meet people, go and be the best you on holidays and you show
that you trust him, he suddenly relates you to positive emotional experiences that he
would not get from most women.
And the biggest irony of this question, how to make a guy miss you,
is that as soon as you stop trying to make a guy miss you is when he really starts to
miss you. So once he goes away as well, use that time. Watch the Missing A Guy in A Long
Distance Relationship video, watch that video and apply the same concepts. If a guy's going
away for two weeks, you're essentially long distance for two weeks. All the concepts in
that video apply. Use the time you have. Be a source of positivity when you're on the
calls with him, wish him well, and want him to have a great time out with what he's doing,
when he's out doing what he's doing.
If you set this up before guy goes away and then follow that video when
he's away, that guy's going to miss you unbelievably. But it comes from a place where you are being
the high value woman, not the insecure girl who's determining her actions, but the woman
who genuinely wants him to go away and have a great time without her. Not because she's
trying to make him miss her, but because she loves him and that's what she wants for someone
she loves. So ladies, I hope that gives you an idea, a really solid idea of how to get
a man to miss you for all the right reasons. It starts before he goes away and check out
the long distance video for tips on what to do once he's away. Thank you so much for watching.
Let me know your thoughts again, pop them in the comments below, if you have questions
or anything like that, pop them in the comments as well. Give a video a thumbs up if you enjoyed
it. Look, this stuff is going to work so much better than any of those games that you're
taught on other channels. I promise you, and if it, doesn't, comment, I want to hear about
it. So ladies, thank you so much for watching and I shall see you very soon.