- She's not just some fan girl, that she is an equal,
and that she can offer him correction.
I love it, I love her.
Even if it was just her, I would watch.
I love this character.
What are you truly looking for in a romantic partner?
What are the things that you absolutely must have
even if there are other things that are inconveniences
but you're willing to overlook them
because these are must-haves?
Star crossed lovers from separate worlds
is a tale as old as time.
And yet "Bridgerton" breathes new life into it,
largely because Eloise is the best character.
Mended Light. (lively jazz music)
Okay, Eloise is the oft overlooked sister
of the "Bridgerton" clan.
I'm sure we're gonna get a season
specifically devoted to her.
But here, right here, right now, she is searching
for Lady Whistledown, the gossip columnist
who is destroying lives left and right,
leaving just a trail of broken reputations in her wake.
And Eloise is trying to track her down.
And so she figures out the print shop
where Lady Whistledown has been sending out
her anonymous newsletters.
And Eloise comes from the upper crust.
She's from a very wealthy, well-to-do family.
And yet she finds herself drawn to Theo.
And Eloise is somebody who had no,
no intentions of love or marriage or dating or romance.
She wants to be educated, she wants to have a career.
She is a strong, independent woman
in this version of regency era England.
But then we get to a little bit of (tsks, whistles).
No, actually they don't do anything.
- Is the shock you seem to be displaying at present
due to the fact that I appear well read and articulate?
Or do you suffer from some medical ailment
about which I should be told?
- She's got sass for days,
which is why she's my favorite character on the show.
- What's your name?
- Eloise Bridgerton.
- Pleased to meet you, Miss Eloise.
- Gender equality. - I'm Theo.
- I know. - That's where she meets him.
- You know.
- As I know there are several errors in your arguments
that I must bring to your attention.
Have you a pencil?
Nevermind, you may borrow mine.
- So she can't help even when it's a me cue
and she's flirting with someone
whose writings on gender equality she admires.
She has to assert herself that she's not just some fan girl,
that she is an equal and that she can offer him correction.
I love it, I love her.
Even if it was just her, I would watch.
I love this character.
- Do not tell me you've traveled at this ungodly hour
to offer more corrections of my writing.
- It was the only time I could leave without being seen.
And on the contrary, I've come to ask for your discernment.
- Is that so?
- Do not be so pleased.
It is a rare occurrence that I doubt shall be repeated.
I have questions about the writings in this pamphlet.
- Well, the ideas can tax a fragile mine.
- Well, perhaps your means of communicating them
leaves much to be desired.
- Perhaps you have not seen enough of the world
to make sense of them yet. - Ah!
- What of Lady Whistledown?
- Spoiler alert.
So there's her friend Penelope,
who is actually Lady Whistledown.
Penelope's spying on her because she doesn't wanna
be found out as Lady Whistledown
because for Penelope, this is her way to have a career.
This is her way to have a voice.
She's so trapped and overlooked in her family
and in her social circle
that nobody realizes her brilliance.
- You have not seen enough of the world
to make sense of them yet.
- Ah!
- What of Lady Whistledown?
She speaks on everyone without remorse.
- No, no, she does not speak of all.
Perhaps she simply does not know
that there are some beyond the ton worthy of attention too.
- Are you speaking with Mr. Sharp again, El?
- I have heeded your warnings.
Theoretically.
It would be foolish of me to continue to visit him.
- And what in actuality?
- I visited him just the other day.
But it's not nearly as scandalous as you make it out to be.
It is only his thoughts I'm interested in.
- This is a friendship then?
- Of course, what else could it be?
- The truth is the best relationships are built
on friendship.
We often start with sexual attraction, romantic interest
and try and retroactively build a friendship from there.
And I'm not saying that's wrong to spot somebody
who piques your interest, but without a solid friendship,
you will not have a lasting relationship.
And Eloise recognizes in Theo a kindred spirit,
someone with a common mind,
a common interest in the good of the people,
in this case, gender politics and gender equality.
But Theo is equally concerned about the plight of the poor.
And for Eloise, who has had it with the ton,
the ton is the rich upper class society that she comes from,
she's kind of bored with it and she's done with it.
And she's done with the stuck upedness.
And she's done with the superiority
and all the drama and she wants real life.
And she's drawn to Theo.
And Theo, for his part, has disdain for
where she comes from, because to him,
the upper class are oppressors.
And yet he cannot help but be impressed by her mind
and be impressed by how quickly she latches on to ideas
and then expands on them.
- You've come quite a long way to ask me something.
So go on.
- I have thoughts.
- I can see how that might pose a problem
for someone in your world.
- Thoughts I would like to share with you.
- And are you not sharing them now?
- What I am failing to say is that often
when I read something new or interesting or provoking,
it is you who crosses my mind.
It is you I would like to speak with about those thoughts.
- I see.
- And so I am wondering,
you might also have thoughts of me when you think.
- I've read all of these.
- And?
- And I set them aside for you.
Thought perhaps you would share your thoughts on them.
- So in this time, and sadly, too much in our time,
a man who values a woman's brain,
a man who just can't wait to hear what she has to say
and what she thinks about things and to engage with her
in a dialogue is a rare thing indeed.
And this is something that she prizes
and cherishes, this friendship.
And obviously, there's this chemistry,
this hope for something more.
But again, what is actual love built on?
It's built on respect.
And it's built on seeing somebody
for who they actually are and accepting them.
And he doesn't see her as a spoiled rich brat.
He sees her as a woman of great compassion and intelligence.
And she doesn't see him as coming from the slums
and below her or beneath her, but a person of integrity
and great intellectual power, and she's drawn to that.
- People from the palace have been asking about me.
I was almost thrown out today.
- Yes, I think that may be my fault.
The queen, she, she saw me visiting you the other day
and now believes me to be Lady Whistledown herself.
Ridiculous, yes?
- What is ridiculous is the fact that you thought it wise
to come back here again.
Come for more books, did you?
- What?
No, I came to make sure you were all right,
to get our story straight.
- Our story.
This is not the least bit surprising.
- What is that supposed to mean?
- It means that you are a lady who has never had
to endure any real difficulties in your life.
You may have the protection of your family,
of your society, but I, I do not.
You've taken your pleasure from lowlife, Miss Bridgerton,
now I think it best you return to Mayfair
before you get me into any more trouble.
- So in this case, the queen is on a witch hunt
for Lady Whistledown, the gossip columnist,
'cause Lady Whistledown disparaged the queen herself
and believes it to be Eloise.
And he is trying to get her to keep her distance.
And we are gonna see in just a second
that as cruel as this seems, and he didn't mean
what he said, that she hasn't known the hardships of life
like he has because of his poverty.
He also doesn't know that she's lost her father.
He doesn't know the things that she's been through.
But we see also in just a moment
what was really going on when they had this conversation,
even though it was hurtful for her.
- You got my note.
- Why did you not tell me sooner?
Why did you continue lying to me,
carrying on with me when you knew this entire time
that the real Lady Whistledown has been using
this very shop to print her scandal sheet?
- I couldn't tell you.
Not when she was still watching me.
Why do you think I ended things the way I did with you,
despite wanting to do the very opposite?
I did not want her to see the two of us together.
I did not want her to write cruelly of you.
- A little late for that.
- So real Lady Whistledown, he's trying to protect her
from being part of the gossip magazine herself.
But she had to, and that's all part of the plot
and all the story, but as far as this relationship,
it's hard when you feel like I must lie
to protect the person that I care about.
And when it's not a TV melodrama, when it's real life,
that's almost never a good idea.
Far better to speak the truth, even if it hurts.
Far better to speak the truth, even if it divides.
Because speaking the truth builds trust.
And I've learned that the hard way sometimes in my life,
if you've seen some of our other videos.
But it's true, it's a true principle.
- I owe you an apology, Miss Bridgerton.
For everything.
Whistledown's now taken her business elsewhere.
I thought you deserved to know the truth.
- I deserve more than that.
- [Theo] Forgive me, I'm...
- This is absurd.
- I would never-
- No, this whole thing, it is, it is absurd.
I, we cannot continue to meet like this.
- This was your idea.
- I know, I know it was.
- And now she wants to protect him.
- [Eloise] And I'm sorry for wasting your time.
- One thing about different world's romances.
- Or are suddenly dropping out of this hunt
for other reasons?
- People are already talking about us, Theo.
And no, I do not normally care what other people think.
But yes, I care about you.
And if we continue on like this, I cannot live with myself
if you are the one who has to face the consequences.
- I should have known.
That you cannot be any different from all the other ladies.
- But she is.
- [Theo] It's all right, Miss Bridgerton.
- And that hurts.
- You dipped your toe into my waters,
trying to make yourself feel better
about the advantages of your birth.
Now you can go back to your life,
and I can go back to mine.
- And he is handling this the only way he knows how,
'cause it is a rejection, right?
How does this look in our lives?
Our parents are very invested in who we end up with,
how we spend our lives, the choices that we make,
our friends, our social circles,
people from church, people from the club.
Wherever you come from, you have people
who truly care about you
but still impose their opinions and their judgments on you.
And people who really only care about themselves
and they see your life as something to be mocked.
Either way, we can allow others to push and pull us away
from what our heart truly wants and who we truly are.
And this is heartbreaking for both Eloise and Theo.
I was really rooting for them.
I wanted them to end up together.
But the point is, you're going to be judged
no matter what you do.
You will have people who disagree with you
no matter what you do.
You'll have people who shun you, who criticize you,
who shame you, no matter what you do,
no matter what choice you make.
Because the people in your life have different viewpoints,
different opinions.
Some of them hold them very strongly
and they're very sure that they are right.
What do you want?
Who do you want?
And who do you want to be?
And is all that based on wise decision making?
Because you can want somebody who's not good for you
and you could have people warning you and you ignore them.
I'm not talking about that situation.
I'm talking about when you follow your heart and your mind,
where does that lead you?
You've only got one life,
so choose what's really going to make you happy
or at least give you the best shot for that.
If you found this helpful, I encourage you
to check out a video of ours called
"What Does Real Love Look Like?"
that's gonna pop up here at the very end.
What has been your experience with the push
and pull of family members and society and others
when it comes to your life and especially your love life?
Have you ever followed just your heart and what you wanted?
And how did that go for you?
Let us know in the comments below.
If you need help with your life or your relationships,
go to mendedlight.com.
Schedule a complimentary 15-minute consultation
with a member of our team.
Or check out our low-cost membership site
where we offer the same principles that we teach in therapy
and you can go at your own pace.
Until next time, folks, keep shining,
because we need your light.
(lively jazz music)