Parenthood, isn't it wonderful?
So joyful, so relaxing and just so easy to navigate.
But shockingly, many new parents
and expecting couples are finding
the whole thing really daunting.
Strange I know.
So, I thought why not share some of my maternal wisdom
and help them avoid these parenting pitfalls.
Welcome to my new show, "A Guide To Everything Parenting"
with yours truly, Celeste Barber.
Today, we're gonna tackle one of life's great mysteries,
how to soothe a child before bedtime.
Let's go check on Terry and Janine who are in the midst
of this terrible affliction. - Oh!
Okay.
(doorbell rings)
(knocking)
Hello.
Can I help you?
I doubt that Terry, but I can sure help you.
Let's go.
Lovely outlook.
It's really nice.
Big mortgage?
Never fear, Auntie Celeste is here.
Now Janine, you're saying that it's about time
Tyler went down for his nap?
No, I didn't say that.
That's okay, it's just for the viewers at home.
What viewers?
Exactly, keep it natural,
and in two, one...
You were saying that it's time
that Tyler had his nap, yeah?
I'm not sure what's going on.
Actually I think he's fine.
Now you guys aren't expected to have all the answers
that's why I'm here.
I don't want you to worry.
And I have a special little sleep hack.
Get excited
because I know I am.
Time for tip number one.
Kids hate being left alone at naptime
but this technique is sure to bring the sand man.
You could put that away.
Hello baby Tyler.
I'm your beary best friend.
(Celeste mumbles)
It's time for naptime.
We have some very simple solutions.
Oh do you?
And then you just need to get comfortable
and start growling soothingly.
Grrr...
grrr, grrr...
I don't know Celeste.
How long is this supposed to take?
Celeste?
Whose house is this?
Oh, you've got
to watch that tip.
It can be a bit too effective.
Oh, so far so good, Terry.
But the thing is, everybody knows the second you try
to escape, that's when the trouble begins.
These tykes, they don't like to be left alone, ever.
Actually, we've got a few really helpful things
we can do with our Chrome--
I know, I hear you Terry, but no matter what you do,
nothing seems to work, right?
Sorry.
That's why the key here is to sever
the connection gradually.
Then the child doesn't know that it's happening.
So hot tip number two,
Sleep tight little guy.
This is the sink part.
You got to do it really carefully, real smooth.
Oh.
Then onto the slither.
Knowing your terrain is very important.
You can't turn back.
It doesn't matter what,
because you have to just keep on going
no matter how much pain you're in.
I've hit a tambourine.
Oh god.
Get out you guys.
Save yourselves!
- Janine. - On it.
I think our Chromebook
can take it from here Auntie Celeste.
I doubt it.
What's that gonna do?
Oh, you know, it's just a fast
and effective nap time solution.
We just use the Chromebook's Everything Button
to find what we need in a few seconds.
The "Everything Button".
Oh you guys will believe anything.
No, no, it's true.
See, I've hit the Everything Button here,
and I can search for, well, pretty much everything.
See I've typed in naptime
and I've got the naptime playlist Terry's sister made,
some useful tips in a folder,
some cute YouTube videos, and the washing machine.
Works every time.
- Oh you're not allowed to put your kids
in washing machines anymore.
No, it's the noise,
it's the white noise. (machine tumbles)
- Oh. - Yeah,
it's the washing machine,
fridges humming, you know, not bears.
It works every time.
It gives them a sense of security.
You know, it puts Tyler to sleep in a couple of minutes.
You know what?
It's actually funny you should say that
because I have a very similar suggestion.
It's time for quick tip number three.
I think we're good actually.
Yeah, you know what, I think so too.
I think I smashed it in two steps.
Thanks for joining me everyone.
I hope you enjoyed that episode,
and I'm sure we can all agree that the Chromebook
and its magical "Everything Button" had absolutely nothing
to do with any of it.
It was all me, and I've even got the bruises to prove it.
All right, thanks again.
See you next time.
No!
I just said it was me.
You all just saw, it's not, the...
No, I did the slither and the thing.
What, they had nothing to do,
I did it all.
It was all mine.
I, nah.