Hey guys it's me Cathy Cat.
From Tokyo to you. Today speaking in German.
If you don't speak German, please be sure to click on the subtitles!
Today's topic is the love life in Japan and the differences
between Germans and Japanese.
Well then.
Let's find out.
What I noticed with many boys in Japan
is that they generally seem to pay the restaurant bills.
When boys take Japanese girls out for lunch or dinner, they tend to pay the bill.
They don't only pay for their date or girlfriend,
some also pay for their female friends, who they just see as friends.
Which could make it difficult to see ...
if that guy wants something from you or not.
Because the bill tends to be paid by most men in Japan either way.
Just because he paid the bill, doesn't mean he wants you girls.
This is a major difference.
But many men are glad when the girl splits the bill
we are used to that in Germany.
Maybe it will actually look better on you to pay for the bill yourself...
And they might counter it with "It's fine, leave it to me."
But again, not a give away if he likes you or not
In one of our newest videos we asked Japanese people on the streets here...
if friendship between boys and girls actually exists.
Many said yes, some said no.
Officially everyone said yes, but there are some rules.
You should not be in a closed room with the other "friend" person.
Restaurants and such are generally ok.
But once two people might go into a closed karaoke box....
that is a whole new level.
Some of you might want to be prepared for it to become more.
It's a closed room with only you two.
This could be more of a date.
In your case I would be prepared for that.
Also things like going to Disneyland...
that is generally a place where most couples go to spend time.
Maybe that's a hint that that is a date.
Friendship is accepted, but...
depending on what you guys end up doing together...
could change from friendship to more.
Is it important who makes the first step in Japan?
Yes apparently it's important for the boys!
Many men prefer to make the first step.
I guess it's also a part of male pride.
Many boys i interviewed here said they want to be the ones who makes the first step
and approach the girl.
If the girl approaches the boy first is...
is a little bit frowned upon by some.
It could scare off some Japanese men.
But of course that depends on who you will meet.
Furthermore there is an official thing....
how would I call it...
Generally there is an official moment where the man asks the woman
"Do you want to go out with me?"
Sounds like a cliche but it's true.
In Germany things like that happen naturally, by spending much time together and such...
and one person asks "are we actually going out?"
In Japan there is an official proposal first...
In which the man asks the girl "Do you want to go officially out with me?"
That seems to be a thing here in Japan.
In Germany, many people are really open about the topic of sexuality.
Not as much in Japan, especially female sexuality.
It doesn't sit well with some people when women even make jokes in that direction.
An example I can give you is.. a German girl I used to know...
had a huge crush on a Japanese boy.
She was too shy to tell him that directly.
Once both of them walked past a love hotel and she did a joke of saying...
"Hey Love Hotel.... let's go visit it *wink*"
That went down really bad with him.
He was the traditional type. And that joke lowered the opinion he had of her.
When women talk openly about sexuality, even as joke,
is not sitting well with some Japanese men.
People might file you into a different box.
Sad but maybe be a bit more careful with jokes around this topic.
In English it's called PDA, public display of affection...
In German it means to show love and affection in public.
That is a big taboo here in Japan, still.
Things between two people are supposed to stay between two people.
So things like kissing and such...
are generally not shown on the streets.
That happens in closed rooms.
If you are walking with your partner in Tokyo, it could be that there is no kiss goodbye.
Some even don't want to hold hands.
Maybe you can talk about this topic with your future partners...
tell them how much you want it, and hear how much they are comfortable with doing...
Many Japanese girls and boys are very shy...
so don't overrun them with your physical affections...
Give them some time to get used to it!
Some of the topics I cut into are just the tip of the iceberg.
This is where it starts!
Once you start properly dating, there are many more things that are totally different.
Of course there are MANY more differences between Japanese and German love lives.
I hope you have subscribed so you can find out more about those differences and also
things we share and like.
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I hope you like the video. Which of the things I said surprised you today?
Maybe something did surprise you?
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I wish you a lovely day and I see you soon for more from Tokyo with Ask Japanese. Bye.
Bye-Bye!
Goodbye.