but I'm thank you for having me here and
not only to share my personal story but
to speak on behalf of the many whose
stories echo mine and as it has been
highly publicised and mentioned by
Rachael I was coerced into an abortion
through emotional and psychological
blackmail by my former NRL player
boyfriend. Just to clarify I was not the
woman who was paid fifty grand
I just want to clarify that, so I found
out I was pregnant at six weeks and
whilst I knew the timing wasn't ideal I
was actually still excited at the
thought of having a baby unplanned but
not unwanted. However moments after
sharing the news with him I was stunned
at the heartlessness of his reaction
telling me instantly to abort or I would
be facing this pregnancy alone. Two years
ago and...I'm still struggling...Over
the next few weeks I would be subjected
to a horrifying amount of domestic abuse
and manipulation. I had begged him to
talk things through with me and to
support me keeping the baby but I was
told things like how could you ruin my
life like this and why would you bring a
child into this world when it's unwanted
by its father and this child will haunt
me. After weeks of enduring this and not
knowing what to do it ultimately led to
me booking an abortion.
As I was to eventually find out
domestic violence and abortion are
closely linked in stories such as mine
were more common than we would ever
think. Since my story went public I have
been contacted by multiple women who
aborted due to coercion. One man even
telling his partner he would end his own
life as she didn't abort. When you are
bombarded with that type of abuse
control and manipulation you become
exhausted, scared, rejected and for me
personally my thought processes
were skewed. It's so scary to reflect on
how controlled and negatively influenced
I was. I am a very strong woman I am a
staunch Mauri woman and even the
strongest
of us can be weakened. I eventually
called an abortion clinic and was able
to book an appointment instantly - no
questions asked.
I had heard that as Rachael was
mentioning that there is the possibility
of the woman is not fit mentally or for
other circumstances to have an abortion
that the counselor would send you away
and interestingly I saw this as my
safeguard so for the lack of a better
word I somewhat looked forward to the
session. I thought I would be able to
talk things through with her. With her
experience and expertise in the field
she would see this was not my decision
and turned me away - a voice of reason and
clarity for me. How wrong I was. The
counseling session lasted minutes and
then asked why I wanted abortion and I
replied because he said it's too early
in our relationship
she said that's a good reason to have
one and that was it. You see I was the
only one fighting for this baby and when
this so-called expert was so casual
about it all, I was defeated. I was
deflated and I even felt like I was
being dramatic. As I entered the abortion
room and sat on the abortionist table I
was thinking to myself I wanted to leave
but I was too scared. You know the day I
was there, there was a woman screaming
and crying in the waiting room and yet
even though she was so distressed I walked
up next to her. This is the truth of what
goes on in those clinics. This is what's
really happening I was the only woman
there that had her partner with her. It's
so that's it. We're led to recliners and
I can remember the nurse looking at a
watch because she wanted us to leave
before the next girls came in and that's
it I was never told of the psychological
risks - only the fact I may become unwell
if I didn't take the prescribed
antibiotics afterwards in fact that was
the only thing that was really drilled
into me. Two days after the abortion when
the morning sickness subsided and the
sleep was caught up on. The realisation
of regret and grief slammed into me like a
truck at full speed. It was then I
realised there was an incredibly dark
side to abortion and how it is
not the best choice so many of us are
misinformed into believing it is.
The domestic violence,
the abortion was supposedly freeing me from
also continued. As the months went on I
spiraled into depression and severe
anxiety and contemplated taking my own
life from it on many occasions.
A train I felt was the best option quick and easy.
Most days I would go home and close the
blinds and sit in darkness not eating
barely sleeping and looking up train
timetables. I felt alone desperate
pathetic and so very very sad but there
was one thing that kept me here. One
thing that kept me going even when I
wanted to lie at bed never wake up
again. It was and it is my
daughter and so with every ounce of my
being I fought with myself to stay here
with her. In 2010 I fell pregnant with my
daughter I had a dream job earning
amazing money, I lived in a Beach suburb
in a great apartment with my friend and
I was back with my boyfriend after
separating for a while. Life as I knew it
was going so good.
Not long after all these things fell
into place I found out I was
unexpectedly pregnant my boss at the
time told me to do abort or I would be
fired. My partner left me and my flatmate
told me to find somewhere else to live.
I was 24
now jobless had to move back in with my
parents and found myself on something
called Cetrelink. Not many people want
to hire you when you're seven months pregnant
Some may say this is a good time to
abort. In fact, the majority of people
around me did except for two people - my
parents. With the support of mum and dad
I was able to bring my beautiful
daughter into this world - a single mother
and I'm going to read to you her latest report.
Ryder is a cheerful hardworking
and responsible student who is settled
in well two routines and structures of
year one. She's a sweet good-hearted a
thoughtful member of this class, was
always considerate and helpful to her
peers. Ryder is always polite and
respectful when communicating with other
students and teachers in the school. In
all aspects of learning Ryder puts
100 percent effort and tackles every
challenge with a positive attitude she
is developing a good growth mindset
where she doesn't give up even when
something is tricky. Ryder always
participates in class discussions and
listens attentively when others are
talking. She is eager to help out around
the class and can be trusted to take on
important roles in the classroom
Ryder understands and consistently
follows our school rules and is an
excellent role model to others.
She received an award of academic excellence
last year and she is now in an elite
dancing school placing first and second
in all of their routines. So in a short
time and with countless things I could
say, I'll leave you with this I have had
an abortion
I have also unfortunately induced a
miscarriage and I am a mother and
choosing life positively changed my life.
Ending life almost ended mine.
My daughter is a prime example that with
the right support we can raise human
beings who better this world because it
turns out it's my girl who's the role
model for others. How did we get to this
place where we could open up such a can
of worms we can do better for women and
if we put all of this effort to make
today happen and do these bills, imagine
what we could do if we focus that energy
into supporting women. Thank you.