Rebekah: Hi guys. It's Bex here and welcome to another episode of She Has Four Minutes,
the most revolutionary video series on the planet.
We're teaching you how to take care of yourself every single day no matter what, no excuses.
I am the drill sergeant of meditation but today I'm bringing in some help in the form
of the lovely Jessica Ortner.
Jessica: Thank you for having me.
Rebekah: She is -- dun, dun, dun ...
Jessica: What are you going to call me?
Rebekah: The New York Times ...
Jessica: Oh yes!
Rebekah: ... best selling author. Let me say it again, New York Times best selling author
of the Tapping Solution for Weight Loss and Body Confidence, the number one best weight
loss book that you will ever buy because it will help you to lose weight, feel great,
change your life, find a boyfriend, get better pets.
Jessica: Yeah. I'm so enthusiastic because I only just found out so I'm still -- I still
like forget and then someone reminds me and I go, "Oh, I'm so excited."
Rebekah: Very cool. I mean that's like a title for -- that's like Queen of England.
Jessica: I can write a bunch of horrible books now and I will always be a New York Times
best selling author.
Rebekah: But anyway ...
Jessica: Yes.
Rebekah: ... let's get into what you're doing because -- so you're busy, right? You have
the Tapping Solution with your family.
Jessica: Yes.
Rebekah: You have this book. You're running around. You're on TV. You're on Bex Life.
You're doing all these amazing things and you're still taking care of yourself.
Jessica: It's a priority because I used to think that if I could just push myself hard
enough, that that's how you become successful. So I think for women who are ambitious, they
feel like taking time for themselves, it contradicts. It stops them from being able to be successful
and doing more and it's actually the opposite and it's a daily reminder to say, "If I don't
take care of myself, I can't expand in these ways."
It's not fun. So what's the point of achieving and trying to live this "better life" if we're
so miserable because we're not taking care of ourselves?
Rebekah: Life is supposed to be fun?
Jessica: It's supposed to be fun. We do live in a culture that is all about success being
defined by how much money you're making or kind of what your life looks like on Facebook
and we have to be able to say, "I want to do things that feel fulfilling but also in
a way that's fun and is good for my soul."
Rebekah: Do you know how I define success?
Jessica: How do you define success?
Rebekah: How many thank you emails I get from you guys, so please keep emailing me, and
then also how many hours of the day I can fit in The Real Housewives.
Jessica: I love that. See? That's fantastic.
Rebekah: If I got like three hours, I'm like I'm successful tonight! We're going to get
right into it because this would not be a Jessica Ortner guest appearance on Bex Life
if we were not tapping.
Jessica: No.
Rebekah: I think we need to show people how easy it is, how fast it is and how it could
just make everything better no matter what.
Jessica: Well, like I always say, this is not tap dancing. We're not going to break
out into some choreography.
Rebekah: Oh, gosh.
Jessica: So tapping is tapping on acupressure points to relieve stress. So when we are stressed
or panicked, we have too much on our plate, that anxiety is not something we just feel
in our brain. We feel it in our whole body, the pressure on our chest, our stomach. Even
the thought of self-care for many people makes them stressed out because they have this voice
that says, "You're wasting time. You're being lazy. You're not doing enough."
So we need to find a way to calm that voice because that voice has power over us when
we feel it in our whole body. So when we're feeling -- we might be using positive affirmations
but if our whole body is so tense that we don't allow ourselves to believe those things,
and so what you do with the tapping is you get very clear on the thought that's creating
the physical anxiety.
So the thought might be, "If I take time for myself, I am lazy and I'm being worthless."
So that's the thought that creates this tension that makes it hard for you to relax.
Rebekah: Well, I'm really good about taking time for myself but I am struggling with something
today.
Jessica: Yes. Tell me.
Rebekah: I'm having the crappiest day ever which is -- for no reason. I'm just tired.
I'm cranky, which is also making me feel kind of unattractive, kind of fat, if I can say
that word, even though I'm pregnant. I guess I'm allowed to be, but I'm just feeling just
big and unhappy and cranky and I want to get rid of that.
Jessica: We've been talking a while. You came into my apartment and you were like, "I feel
big and cranky." So let's do that tapping about like feeling like -- you know, feeling
unattractive. We've all been there where a lot of times -- all the time, it's really
just the inner thoughts we have in our own mind. I mean we've experienced a time where
we look in the mirror. We're like, "Oh, gross," and then something great happens. We look
at ourselves again. We're like, "I'm looking hot today."
Rebekah: Right. So let's get me hot.
Jessica: OK. Let's get you hot. So the way that you begin tap is you get very clear on
that -- on what's bothering you. So you said that you're feeling big and cranky. Any other
emotions that you would describe?
Rebekah: Can we just say that I'm feeling fat? Because that's really what it is.
Jessica: Yeah, yeah. I'm feeling fat. OK. What are the emotions associated with feeling
fat or any other thoughts? So just like ...
Rebekah: Well, I can say that I'm feeling fat. I'm feeling like I don't want people
to see me. I'm feeling anxious about doing the video and seeing people today. So it's
all of that.
Jessica: OK. So that anxiousness, anxiety, where do you feel it in your body?
Rebekah: In my gut.
Jessica: In your gut. OK. So let's do some tapping. The way we start to do the tapping
process is we will tap together and people will see the points. We start by getting clear
on what's really going on and then using the set-up statement which is, "Event though I
have this anxiety in the pit of my stomach, because I feel fat, I accept myself and how
I feel."
I need to talk about that first because this is where a lot of people have that hesitation
where they go, "OK. Well, this is woo-woo. Why would I accept how I feel? Shouldn't I
push through it and overcome it?"
But it's really a resistance and us fighting the way that we feel that keeps us running
in that same cycle of feeling those feelings and then beating ourselves up for feeling
those feelings.
So on a scale of one to ten, how anxious do you feel in your stomach?
Rebekah: I would say it's a good seven.
Jessica: It's a good seven. OK, OK. So tapping on the side of the hand. Repeat after me.
Even though I have this anxiety in my stomach.
Rebekah: Even though I have this anxiety in my stomach.
Jessica: Because I feel fat and not good enough.
Rebekah: Because I feel fat and not good enough.
Jessica: I accept myself and how I feel.
Rebekah: I accept myself and how I feel.
Jessica: I'm going to say it two more times. Even though I have this anxiety in my stomach.
Rebekah: Even though I have this anxiety in my stomach.
Jessica: Because I feel fat and not good enough.
Rebekah: Because I feel fat and not good enough.
Jessica: I love and accept myself.
Rebekah: I love and accept myself.
Jessica: And how I feel.
Rebekah: And how I feel.
Jessica: Even though I have this anxiety in my stomach.
Rebekah: Even though I have this anxiety in my stomach.
Jessica: Because I feel fat and not good enough.
Rebekah: Because I feel fat and not good enough.
Jessica: I accept myself and how I feel.
Rebekah: I accept myself and how I feel.
Jessica: OK. Now we're going to give a voice to that anxiety. So tapping on your eyebrow
point. This anxiety in my stomach.
Rebekah: This anxiety in my stomach.
Jessica: Side of the eye. All of this pressure.
Rebekah: All of this pressure.
Jessica: Under the eye. Being seen.
Rebekah: Being seen.
Jessica: Under the nose. Being on camera.
Rebekah: Being on camera.
Jessica: Chin. And not feeling good enough.
Rebekah: And not feeling good enough.
Jessica: Collarbone. Feeling fat.
Rebekah: Feeling fat.
Jessica: Under the arm. Not feeling like myself.
Rebekah: Not feeling like myself.
Jessica: Top of the head. All of this pressure.
Rebekah: All of this pressure.
Jessica: Eyebrow. This anxiety in my stomach.
Rebekah: This anxiety in my stomach.
Jessica: Side of the eye. Around how I look.
Rebekah: How I look.
Jessica: Under the eye. All this pressure I put on myself.
Rebekah: All this pressure I put on myself.
Jessica: Under the nose. All this pressure I feel.
Rebekah: All this pressure I feel.
Jessica: Chin. Around how I look.
Rebekah: Around how I look.
Jessica: Collarbone. It's safe to give it a voice.
Rebekah: It's safe to give it a voice.
Jessica: Under the arm. And to begin to let it go.
Rebekah: And to begin to let it go.
Jessica: Top of the head. Right here and right now.
Rebekah: Right here and right now.
Jessica: Eyebrow. I am enough.
Rebekah: I am enough.
Jessica: Side of the eye. I have something to say.
Rebekah: I have something to say.
Jessica: Under the eye. I am enough.
Rebekah: I am enough.
Jessica: Under the nose. I am in the body that I need.
Rebekah: I am in the body that I need.
Jessica: Chin. To make all my dreams come true.
Rebekah: To make all my dreams come true.
Jessica: Collarbone. In this body.
Rebekah: In this body.
Jessica: Under the arm. Anything is possible.
Rebekah: Anything is possible.
Jessica: Top of the head. And it's safe to relax.
Rebekah: And it's safe to relax.
Jessica: OK. Take a deep breath in. Exhale. I want you to notice your stomach that you
have that anxiety. So it was a seven or an eight. Don't -- well, I know you would never
-- I'm saying don't lie to me.
Rebekah: I don't lie. I wouldn't lie because ...
Jessica: Yeah!
Rebekah: Bullshit! No, it's the act of even giving it a voice.
Jessica: Yeah.
Rebekah: Because I haven't even said it in that way or really just taken the time to
only have that thought instead of having a bunch of thoughts.
Jessica: But I have to say it's more that -- the tapping is so powerful because before
you showed up and you were -- you were articulating those things. All I was saying was reflecting
back to you, what you were saying to me.
Rebekah: True.
Jessica: I did add in the feeling of I don't feel good enough. But you walked into the
apartment and started saying that.
Rebekah: Yeah, I do walk and talk.
Jessica: So that's what's so powerful with the tapping. It's like we're already having
that dialogue.
Rebekah: Yeah.
Jessica: So instead of feeling like we're stuck in that dialogue, if we can just do
the tapping, we can begin to let it go.
Rebekah: It releases it.
Jessica: It releases it. So you want to start with saying how you feel, having an honest
conversation. When you feel like you're more relaxed, then you can begin to say positive
things, because what we're doing with the tapping is we're tapping on meridian points
and sending out calming signals to the brain.
So if you have that negative thought and your whole body is feeling calm, it doesn't match
up and you have the power to go, "Actually, is that really how I feel or do I want to
think something different?" You don't feel like you're stuck in that feeling.
If you're feeling good, and you're sending the calming signal, we can relax into those
positive affirmations.
Rebekah: I felt it on the third round. I felt this like -- this shift where ...
Jessica: Yeah. And you know what? It takes less than four minutes.
Rebekah: That's how inarticulate I am right now.
Jessica: No. You're doing great.
Rebekah: Oh, it's just this feeling.
Jessica: And we all can relate to that moment whether we're pregnant or not. We can relate
to having those days where you're like, "I just feel fat and not good enough."
Rebekah: Totally.
Jessica: We need to remember -- I mean that's what my book is about. We need to remember
that in our body, whatever body we're in, that we are enough. When we come from that
place, anything is possible. Really anything is possible.
Rebekah: So the magic of this was that it took less time to do than it did to explain,
which is fantastic. But I really want everyone out there to learn how to do this on their
own. You also have something else going on that's very cool that I want people to check
out.
Jessica: Yeah. I have a seven-week program that was so successful that I had the president
of Hay House call me and say, "I want you to write a book about this program," because
the results were so great. It's Seven Weeks for Weight Loss and Body Confidence.
So this is about getting those weight loss results and more importantly is to finally
feel like we have some freedom around our body. A lot of us feel like we live in this
jail where we stop ourselves from being happy, from pursuing a dream, from dating, because
we don't feel good enough in our body.
We hear all these positive things. Definitely there's a movement about body confidence.
But unless we let go of that anxiety, that doesn't really feel possible in our lives
and tapping helps you let go of that anxiety.
Rebekah: And I love it because even if you're not looking to lose weight, even if you're
at the perfect place as far as your body goes, people say that weight loss or maintenance
is like this 80-20 split between diet and exercise. They completely leave out the spirit.
They leave out the heart and they leave out what you're doing, which is really working
magic.
Jessica: Yeah.
Rebekah: I'm so relaxed now at the end of this video. Thank you so much. All the links
for Jessica are going to be in the video description and of course across the video. I hope to
have you back lots and lots and lots.
Jessica: I love you guys. I would love to come back. Come over anytime.
Rebekah: For your next best seller, no pressure.
Jessica: Yeah.
Rebekah: For your next best seller.
Jessica: Thank you.
Rebekah: Thank you. High ten.
Jessica: Yay!