I know I'm going to explain in this video.
So stay tuned.
So we're on a super big quest
to try to be happy happy happy happy happy happy.
Especially when we're dealing with narcissists.
Oh my God, we're like so trying,
trying trying trying to be happy all the time
and I know because I've been trying too.
Especially when we're dealing with toxic personalities
and it just seems like it makes it worse
worse worse worse worse and I'm going to explain why it actually makes it worse right here.
When negotiating with a narcissist,
you become public
enemy number one and I know
because I'm a narcissist negotiation expert.
Hey, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm a lawyer and also
I've spent more than 20 years dealing with the most toxic personalities
and I'm now teaching this full time right here on this channel.
So I highly encourage you to go ahead
and subscribe to this Channel and hit that notification Bell so that you can learn more about it
and here's the reason why I'm trying
so hard to be happy is actually making you miserable
For one thing, happiness is not something that you can actually achieve.
It's not a place you can go.
It's a state of being.
First of all, I think it would have been kind of sold a bill of goods.
One thing is like as kids.
We watched a movie.
For example, like The Wizard of Oz.
Dorothy and her friends are going to go to OZ and OZ is going to be this incredible place.
That's where they need to go and when they get there.
They're going to get all the things that they're supposed to have,
right?
Dorothy's gonna get to go home and you know,
the Tin Man's going to get his heart and the scare crow gonna get the brain and the lions go
to get his courage and our society is told us that,
you know, we're supposed to be happy all the time
and if we're not, there's something wrong with us.
We're constantly feeling like we're short,
right?
I mean, because you know,
we watch this movie and we're trying to get there.
We think we're supposed to have this goal to get happy.
If the thing is ike problem with that is nobody's ever
stop to think about the fact.
That means that we're constantly chasing something
and you're not actually going to get there and it leads to us feeling frustrated.
It needs to us feeling this constant sense of disappointment.
This constant sense of where we don't measure up that it's a place that we don't ever attain.
Its a place that we don't actually ever get
to because it's not a place you can go.
It's not a thing that you get to.
It's not it's not a destination.
Happiness is not a destination.
It's a state of well-being.
It's actually harmful to your mental health
to be constantly chasing this alleged goal
and it's not a goal, it's a state of feeling at peace.
It's the now. It's the power of now.
It's appreciating
the present moment where you are.
It's stopping in this moment and going.
Wow.
I'm enjoying this moment of having this cup of tea with my friend
and enjoying this moment in my life.
That is the moment of happiness.
That is the moment of peace.
It's enjoyable.
Singing that I love where I am in my life
and boy is that difficult to do because most of us are either in the past or in the future.
It is really difficult to go.
I'm here in this moment and I'm enjoying this moment right now
and really, that's the only moment that you actually have,
isn't it?
That's the only moment that actually
exists but it's especially true when you are dealing with a toxic personality in your life.
It's so hard when you're f eel like you're in this guerrilla warfare
and you're constantly under attack.
You're like you're just constantly on the defensive all the time.
The best thing that you can do
for yourself is to just start to think about your own self care and not allow
yourself to be overtaken by this other person
and realize that this other person does not get to have your
thoughts that you have the power over your thoughts.
You get to be in control.
Not give that person that permission,
you know, that was a huge moment for me.
I know a lot of, you know, my story but when
I said when I give that in the power
over my thoughts.
I'm a victim and I'm not going to be a victim.
I'm going to be a victor and so
if I'm thinking about them,
I'm in victim mode and I want to be in creation modes.
I want to take each moment and be in creation and when I realized that so much shifted for me
and that's what I wrote, negotiate like you matter
and Robert Shapiro wrote the foreword and I created this YouTube channel and all of everything
shifted for me and so I want to give you guys that same gift.
So one of the things you can do is start, you know,
watching videos on self-care
and I have like a whole interview
for example with Amy Newmark who is the CEO
and publisher of all the Chicken Soup for the Soul books
and so check out my video with her.
My interview with her on self-care,
a narcissistic relationships.
Great video will make sure that we posted a link to that here.
Definitely do that.
You know, try doing things like putting your hands over your heart
and write that in the comments right now.
I'm okay. I'm safe. I'm loved.
Beautiful Mantra.
So that you can start to think of those things right now in the present moment
and you seizing the present moment
you know, instead of chasing trying to be happy.
It's not a goal.
It's not a place that you can never get too.
It's the noun.
I do encourage you to subscribe to this channel.
Hit that notification Bell, stick around and if you like this video,
give it a like, give it a share.
Grab my free
Crush my negotiation prep worksheet.
If you're negotiating, 15 page ebook for free.
Winmynegotiation.com
join my free private facebook group
Narcissistic Negotiators with Rebecca Zung.
You can get support and I'm so glad that you're here.
You know, as I always say, today right now is your jumping off point.
You know, wherever you are. That's where you can start.
It's never too late to shift, to start.
You have the power to start taking your life back.
So I will definitely see you in the next video.
I'm so glad that you're here.
Remember to slay.
All right.
You got this.
See you soon.