David Spade has been here probably--
you come at, like, three times a year,
which I love because you're hilarious.
So we have put together a montage of you on the show--
Oh no.
Over the years.
Let's take--
All right.
You know that my twin sister died in a freak baggage claim
accident.
Or did I!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I actually had a crush on her, a little bit of a crush on her.
Very pretty, this one.
And then it was a couple of weeks before I got the news.
(LAUGHS)
And-- (LAUGHS) Because I was telling people
I was gonna ask you out and they were like,
I don't know if you guys are a perfect couple.
[LAUGHTER]
I like your haircut.
I like to audition it on you before I do it.
Yeah, because we always have the same hair.
I'm surprised you don't--
We had the same hair for a while, you moved on with life
and I stayed in '76.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
You girls want drinks?
Heineken?
BRB.
(LAUGHS)
This is a new look.
I-- usually we end up looking sort of alike.
Our hair is sort of alike.
(LAUGHS) I know.
You're following Brad Pitt.
Well, I got to start high.
I don't wanna--
Sure.
Follow Corey Feldman, exactly.
Yeah.
Have you ever smelled one of these before?
I have never heard of an anise.
(LAUGHS)
I mean--
[LAUGHTER]
It's-- it's like licorice.
I've seen that before.
You actually have, but whatever.
(LAUGHS)
Smell the anise.
[LAUGHTER]
You're just saying you're scared just--
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I heard about it
What--
(BARKING)
(SCREAMS) Ah, you!
[CHEERING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
(SCREAMS)
[LAUGHTER]
The problem is-- now in real life,
like I was at Burger King, this guy behind me goes (BARKS) I
go--
And he goes, I saw you on Ellen.
And I go, yeah.
And he goes, I wanna scare you, you like it.
I go--
[LAUGHTER]
I don't like it!
She's a millionaire, she can do whatever she wants.
(LAUGHS)
[BLEEP]
[LAUGHTER]
When you go to Macy's, it's an octagon or something.
So you-- I-- have you ever seen yourself from the side?
It's horrifying.
[LAUGHTER]
I go like, this who's this dude?
Oh my god, is that me?
Is that what the world sees every day?
It's a-- who invited Gollum in here?
I'm like-- It's literally like six, five, two, two, two.
[LAUGHTER]
I mean, really, your parties are filled with every single--
You know so many more stars, don't even.
OK.
You-- I went to your party was ridiculous.
And it was in a big, juicy house that you have.
Sorry everybody, secret's out.
She's rich.
[LAUGHTER]
Have you ever worn a disguise in public?
I've gone as you, unintentionally.
Because some people yell, "Ellen!"
I go--
[LAUGHTER]
Come on.
(SCREAMS)
(SCREAMS) [BLEEP] Ellen!
You're such an [BLEEP]
[CHEERING]
Look at that.
[CHEERING]
Look at that.
Oh god, I'm weepy.
I know-- well when we first met, we started doing stand up
and then I got a deal at a studio to do a sitcom
and I said, I want David to play my brother.
And we were trying to make a deal to do a show together.
And for some reason nobody thought that was a good idea--
I know.
But we would have had a show where we would've been--
Should've been, yeah.
It would've been great.
Brother and sister, but I love you, I adore you,
and you make me laugh.
You-- just every single time you're here, I just--
I just love you and I hope you come back one more
time before I finish this year.
The reason I can't is because--
[LAUGHTER]
No, of course I will.
I love seeing you, I love being on the show,
everyone that sees me on this likes it
and it's so fun to be with you.
And I'm glad you're--
glad you're here, and we got to do it together.
Yeah, all right.
Well, I love you.
David's podcast is called "Fly on the Wall."
It's available wherever you listen to podcasts.
We'll be right back.
[MUSIC PLAYING]