Ever since President Trump started running four years ago,
people have been trying to see his tax returns.
And we found out so many other things about him in that time,
from what he does with porn stars
to what he does with flags,
and they're not that different.
But we still haven't seen Trump's tax returns.
No one knows why, but everyone has a theory.
Some people think it's because he cheated on his taxes
or because he took money from unsavory people.
My conspiracy theory
is that he's hiding the extra income he makes
by working part-time at TGI Friday's.
He's like, (mimics Trump): "Folks, today's special
"is something I invented myself.
It's called nachos."
(regular voice): Now, no one knows, no one knows for sure
what's hiding in Trump's taxes, but last night,
The New York Times found out what he used to be hiding.
TV REPORTER: This morning, a bombshell report
in The New York Times is casting doubt
on President Trump's self-proclaimed wealth.
The Times, reporting it has obtained years worth
of previously unrevealed figures
from the president's federal income tax returns.
The real estate mogul spent at least ten years in the red,
reporting business losses totaling over $1 billion
from 1985 to 1994.
According to The Times, year after year,
Mr. Trump appears to have lost more money
than nearly any other individual American taxpayer.
Holy shit.
For ten years, Donald Trump might have lost more money
than any person in America?
That is crazy.
The guy who lost the most money
is the same guy who claims to be the best businessman.
It's like finding out that Hugh Hefner died a virgin.
I did not see that coming.
(laughter)
But this just shows how good Trump is
at inflating his success, right, because during some
of those years when Trump was hemorrhaging money
and on the verge of bankruptcy, he managed to get himself
on the Forbes Richest People list.
When in reality, he should have been
on the Forbes Broke-Ass Bitch list, right?
Which isn't a real list but I think it should be.
Yeah. 'Cause it would pretty great if they were just once
a year, they were like, "At number six, Craig,
his broke-ass still using an iPhone 3."
And you might think it's bad news for Trump
to be exposed like this, but that's because
you're looking at all of this the wrong way.
TV REPORTER: He lost a lot of money over the course
of ten years if you consider a billion dollars a lot of money.
If anything, you read this, and you're like,
wow, it's pretty impressive
-all the things that he's done in his life. -Right.
It's beyond what most of us could ever achieve.
I don't know that there's any suggestion
that he broke the law.
You know, say what you will about Fox & Friends,
but when they're with you, they are with you.
Ride or die.
That's a squad I want in my life.
They'll spin any negative into a positive.
Like, every leader would be lucky
to have that kind of support.
If Kim Jong-un had a Fox & Friends,
they'd be like, "This haircut is the best one yet."
Every leader.
Hitler's Fox & Friends would have been like,
(with German accent): "You know, the haters are saying
"that he's a mass murderer, and he lost the war,
"but people don't focus on how well-traveled he was.
"Yah. All the way from Paris to Russia in just a year.
"Yah. And Charlie Chaplin even made a movie about him.
How many people can say that? Yah."
(normal voice): And here's the thing,
Fox & Friends aren't outliers.
Many Trump supporters feel that Trump losing $1 billion
just shows how successful he was.
You have to have a billion to lose a billion.
And if you go to MAGA country, you'll see that some of them,
hey think this whole story should be thrown out.
TV REPORTER: Do you care about Trump's tax returns?
-Not at all. I don't care -Not at all?
about anybody's tax returns; it's their business.
Do you care about Trump's tax returns?
No. I don't really give
-All right. Don't curse. -a rear end about them.
I-- That's what I'm trying to do--
I don't care if anybody shows it or not.
It's their personal life, their personal business.
Leave it alone.
Okay, I hear what this guy is saying.
It's his personal business, just leave it alone.
I do have one question, though:
how many eggs is this guy eating?
(laughter)
(applause)
Like, who needs to eat that many eggs?
Is... Is he fighting Apollo Creed?
And you know what's most impressive,
is that's what he ordered when he knew
there was gonna be a TV crew.
Right? He was like, "Oh, the camera crew is here.
"Better go easy and just order one carton
of eggs today, Billy.”
But, seriously, though, seriously, though,
the story just shows you
how we're all totally living in different bubbles, right?
One side hears about the story of Trump's taxes
and they think it proves that he's a shady loser.
The other side hears the story and they go, "Wow.
He's so rich, he had a billion dollars to lose."
One side says a president should be transparent
about his finances, the other side says
that's his private business.
One side says "I'll have the egg white omelet for breakfast."
And the other side says, "And I'll take all of his yolks."