Hello, lovely people!
So, this video is just what you asked for:
An extended cut of Claudia and I doing each other's make-up
It's a wife and wife make-up swap, and it was...interesting.
Some bits are going to be the extended goodness that you've already seen, and some are just completely new
Random anecdotes and stuff that we chatted about
for an hour and a half
whilst doing each other's make-up.
So, I mean, that's what you get when you marry your best friend.
So, without further ado
Make-up!
J: So, what we're gonna do is swap the make-up that we use.
Generally. So the make-up I use on myself, I'm gonna put on your face
and vice versa.
So we've got our little make-up bags in front of us.
J: Well, that's not true. C: No, I've got MY make-up bag.
C: Jessica's got her entire make-up drawer.
J: Do you wanna go first?
C: All right. What do I do after foundation?
J: So what do you normally do after you've done your foundation?
C: OK, well, this is a relatively new thing for me, but
I've started to do minimal sculpting.
Contouring/sculpting.
Whatever.
OK, so I use a light contour on day-to-day wear
and then maybe a medium contour for work.
I mean, for going out.
J: No, Claudia daytime. We'll do Claudia daytime. C: OK, my day-to-day wear.
J: I am a very pale person.
J: Just to remind you. C: I'll go for the soft contour on you, then.
C: Then we'll go for the highlights, so...
Do you want a radiance or a matte?
To be fair, I always go for matte, so I don't know why I'm asking.
I'll put matte on.
J: Except the other day you wore radiance, then you look like a skull.
C: I feel like this highlight isn't as white on you as it is on me.
For me, it's an obvious highlight; on you, it's like I can't even see it! It just looks like a mid-tone for you.
J: You can use the radiance one if you like. C: Yeah, maybe I'll have to use my evening one.
C: Whoops! Sorry!
J: OK! Well, I don't contour my face.
J: I just cover the entire thing in powder.
So...
C: It's very pearlescent for my face there.
J: The only powder I have--I wanted to use a new sponge for you, obviously
(very sanitary and whatnot), but this was the only one I had.
So...
J: You're going to feel like your face is just caked in powder.
That's going to be the feeling.
C: Oh no. That's the complete opposite to what I like.
J: Jesus! OK! [?]
J: Stop scratching your stupid face.
J: It's not a stupid face, I love it.
J: It's a lovely face.
C: You can't just insult me and then go, "It's not stupid!" [mimics kissing]
J: Yes, I can! That's marriage.
C: "Thanks for cooking dinner, darling. It's disgusting! But I love youu!"
C: "Don't ever cook again!"
C: "Don't worry, it's marriage."
J: Compliment sandwich!
C: Next stage for you...
J: Blusher?
J: You're staring at me!
C: Because, despite my make-up being more [?]--your upper lip is sweating.
J: Oh!
C: Everyone knows I get a sweaty upper lip.
C: You're wearing my make-up. Thus, you have a sweaty upper lip.
J: It's really weird having someone else poke your eye. C: Yeah.
J: When it's you, you're so prepared.
So ready.
J: This feels very random.
C: Good. J: Excellent.
J: Thank you.
J: Now I'm gonna do blusher on you.
J: Oh, my God. OK. The eyebrows are going to be pretty interesting.
J: I just use pencil, and I have a very--like a little vintage line.
Also, my natural eyebrows. Look how long/ridiculously short they are.
C: Your eyebrows are not actually ginger.
J: No! Weirdly, my eyebrows are jet black.
J: When I was a little kid, I was really blonde,
but with jet black eyebrows.
C: Whoa.
J: That's not a good reaction!
J: "Woah!" C: No, no. Let me just...
C: pinch this in a bit.
J: What is that you've put on my face?!
C: That is literally just me following your natural brow.
J: I'm gonna close the door.
C: In case someone comes in and goes, "You, in the eyebrows!"
C: They look nice from afar!
J: Warn me before you squish your face up. C: I've got an itch in my nose.
J: Itch your nose.
C: Right, next bit's gonna be interesting.
J: What's the next bit? C: Eye shadow.
J: Oh, God.
C: I'm literally just doing how I do it on myself,
but your anatomy's a bit different. Like, I go up to here with my bone
--to my brow bone, but you don't have one, so...
J: Yep. Just go to my eyebrow.
C: It's not that bad.
C: Oops, sorry, I should tell you to shut your eyes.
J: OK!
J: Beautiful!
C: Oh, is that done?
J: No. C: Oh.
J: You live in hope.
C: I don't understand when girls are having their make-up done,
like they'll pay someone to have their make-up--
do they actually like the process?
Or do you think they just like the end result?
C: I like doing things that I know are going to make my whole body feel good.
But, then, I guess some girls - or guys - you know, who have their make-up done,
maybe that makes them feel like
really good.
Their whole body. You know?
J: I always like
the end result
but not the actual process.
C: Could you warn me?!
C: Christ.
C: How do you do that to your own face?
C: You could get one of those, you know like (just gonna reference what I know),
you can get little, um,
things that clean the inside of your cameras that blow air
and they have a brush
- that would probably be quite a good make-up thing
'cause you could go [mimics the blowing]
C: and then brush away the... J: Oh yeah!
C: Are we going out like this as well?
C: Because we're going for like a pub lunch.
C: Are you gonna wear it to the pub? J: Yes.
C: Are you?! J: You have to wear yours to the pub, as well.
C: Nooo!
J: Yeah! C: Nooo, no, no, no.
J: Oh, wait, so I have to wear your clothes to the pub, but you don't have to wear my clothes to the pub?
C: No, OK, fair enough. We'll both feel uncomfortable,
C: so... J: Either we both feel uncomfortable or we both feel fine
C: Don't squint. God, this is going to be really hard to do.
C: All right.
J: This is probably going to feel like a lot of eyeliner to you.
J: And voila, eyeliner. C: Ta-da!
C: Feels very uncomfortable.
C: Shall we just do the rest of our make-up ourselves?
J: OK. C: Because, like, I don't know.
C: I'll just tell you what I do, and you just do it.
C: It'll be so much faster.
J: There we go. Had to [?]
C: Yeah, it was faster.
C: I was using my [?] J: OK, onto hair.
J: So I've had mine--I tried to curl mine in the same way that yours is naturally curled.
C: I wash it and let it dry naturally.
If I blow-dry it, it just goes like "poof."
C: Or, in the words of a hairdresser, "Your hair is like a pyramid."
C: I was quite scarred by that. I was only fifteen, I think, and I was like
J: She still mentions it! Yeah.
J: Traumatic experience. C: I think it was because I was particularly slim
and, you know, had had a bit of a growth spurt
and I was just basically a bit of a bean pole.
And then just had massive hair.
J: But then you did have another hairdresser who shaved the underside of your hair.
C: But not in a cool, trendy way! It wasn't like half my head was shaved.
J: Yeah, not like you're imagining. C: She literally just lifted up half my hair and shaved the underparts.
C: And then just put it back and went, "Look, it's a lot better now."
My mum came to pick me up and she was like, "Oh, it looks lovely, darling!" but she hadn't seen the under bit,
and as soon as I left, I was like, "Mum, look..."
and she was like [dramatic gasp]
J: "What the Hell?!"
C: She was like, "We should go back and complain and get our money back!"
And I was like, "No!" because I was just so embarrassed.
J: She refuses to get her money back for anything.
C: That's not true, I'm better now!
J: Oh, yeah? Like the other night with that drink that was so disgusting.
C: Yeah... J: And you were like, "No, we can't tell them that they've made a disgusting drink."
"I have to give it to one of our friends instead."
C: I was like if I'm gonna buy an alcoholic drink, I want it to be a nice one," because I don't drink that much, so...
J: Claud never brushes her hair.
C: Your hair looks lovely, but it's not my style.
J: It was difficult! My hair is naturally very straight.
It doesn't naturally ringlet.
J: You touch your hair, I think,
how many times?
I'm gonna say...
at least once a minute.
C: Yeah, I know.
J: You do this. C: People used to tell me that at school.
J: Flick it over here.
J: And then you like... C: Well...sorry. That's why it goes up in a bun so often!
J: Twist it around. C: Because then I do not touch it.
C: It's because that keeps its like--it's because I was so scarred by the pyramid comment!
I have to make sure it's no longer a pyramid.
J: [?] C: [?]
J: I tried to give it no parting.
J: I'm gonna brush your hair now. C: Noo, no!
C: You don't understand, darling.
J: The trauma!
C: No! On your hair, when you brush it, look: nothing happens.
C: It just goes a little bit more like...
C: ...glossy and--look, but look at that, look at that frizz
Brush my hair and it will literally be like...
J: OK, OK C: ...you've just opened a parasol on my head
J: I'm just going to brush the ends!
Just the ends, is that OK?
Can you live with that?
C: I'm not having fun at all.
J: See? It's smoother.
C: No, it feels itchy.
C: I didn't even like my mum brushing my hair.
C: I don't know why any-- J: OK, who else does not brush their hair?
J: Ever. C: My aunty said she doesn't.
C: Just because I have hair that is able to go big,
hairdressers and stylists always think, "Cool, we can do really easy big hair on you."
J: "We can do so much with this." C: And I'm like but I don't like big hair.
J: I'm not putting this bow in your hair, don't panic
but I needed a way to make a parting.
So I'm just...
J: Oh, I don't really like people who wear bows.
Weirdly.
C: It's all right. I've always dated people with eccentric dress styles.
I think I just like individuality.
I'm never gonna tell someone how to dress.
That doesn't always mean that I agree with their choices of dress.
I will just not say anything.
C: I've never felt self-conscious going out with someone
who wears something different.
Maybe because you draw the attention so it's not on me; that's why I like it.
J: OK, we got a little insight into Claudia's psychology there.
J: Thank you.
C: It is true people always want what they don't have.
J: Oh, yeah, I'll give you that.
J: I've always really wanted curly hair.
J: And then people see my straight hair and they're like, "Wow, I wish my hair was as straight as yours!"
J: I'm like, "Shut up, no, you don't"
C: I've grown to like my hair. I think as you get older you kind of appreciate what you have a bit more.
C: It's just like, look, you know, I've learnt how to deal with this now.
And dealing with mine is do not brush it and do not cut it
above the shoulder
because it will end up as a pyramid.
C: The pyramid thing is just like my go-to point of 'bad hair'
reference.
J: The go-to hair hatred!
J: I swear, though, especially when you're working on a young person
as a hairdresser, you should never tell them something mean.
C: Maybe there was a bit of a language barrier, because it was in Malaysia that this man said this to me.
[Jessica laughs] Oh.
J: Actually, they're really blunt in Malaysia. C: They are really blunt, yeah.
C: Like how many times did you get asked, "What is wrong with you?"
C: "But why?"
C: "Tell us."
J: "You use these crutches, I see."
J: "Why do you need them?" C: "Why are you on crutches?"
J: "Why do you need them?" C: "Why do you need those?"
C: Yeah, it's like, "Err..."
But that's fair enough if people are just making conversation on the street almost; it's like...
J: Is it?!
C: Well, no, but you can kind of forgive people who come up, because that's just some strange person, you know,
who's a bit nosy and interfering.
C: But it's different when we were like at the airport.
Those people - it's their job to check people in who need special assistance.
And even the special assistance concierge people were asking what your problem was.
In England, that's just so--you do not ask that.
J: I think it's also illegal.
J: You can't just be like, "Give me proof."
C: It's like...
You're on a train and you show your disabled rail pass; they don't go, "And what is your disability?"
C: It's like, "Er, why does it matter to you?"
"Doesn't affect you."
C: But in Malaysia it felt like they were asking because
they were kind of deciding whether you were worthy of a wheelchair or not.
C: It's not like they had a limited number; there were like stacks of them piled up.
J: I love that! 'There were just stacks of wheelchairs.'
J: It's pretty hilarious the number of abled-bodied people
who think that disabled people are faking it,
yet have NO experience of disabled people.
J: Like, "Do you know anyone disabled?" "No..."
C: Also, why would you want to fake it?
J: Yeah! I always ask this question.
Why would anyone fake having a disability.
You genuinely get nothing.
J: I hope we have daughters and one of them's a girly-girl.
J: Or! Sons who have long hair
and let me play with it.
J: Or children of no specific gender but who have hair C: Basically you just want...!
C: If you just say, "I would like a child who likes to let me pamper them."
C: "Unlike my wife."
J: It's all right, we're almost done. C: I don't mind.
J: You don't mind? C: No, I do mind this;
C: I mean I don't mind what the child likes.
C: If they like to be pampered, that's fine.
C: I'm not gonna be like, "No! You cannot be pampered!"
"You have to come outside and do gardening with me!"
J: I do hope we have one of each, though.
Or like if we have three children.
C: What, and one likes doing what I like doing?
J: Yeah.
C: They might like doing both; maybe it just depends what mood they're in.
J: That's true.
J: OK! Hairspray time.
C: Oh, no, I'm gonna smell like my grandma
J: [singing] Elnett!
J: It's so lovely!
J: [singing] Elnett! C: This reminds me strongly of my grand--
J: It's so lovely! C: *grandmother,
who wore it, and also of speech and drama lessons
because whenever I had to perform speech and drama.
J: Yeah, yeah, yeah! C: My teacher would come round and be like, "Right!"
C: "Next!" [mimics teacher spraying hairspray]
C: "Next!" [mimics teacher spraying hairspray] And literally just spray it round all the girl's hair!
[Claudia shudders] J: Flashbacks!
C: Suddenly all these poems - lines of poetry - are coming to me.
J: Oh, my gosh!
C: The wintry days and the autumn leaves...
C: Whatever.
C: I can't actually... J: Oh, no! I thought you were about to break into--that would've been amazing!
C: No, I know. J: Darn it.
C: All that training and I never--I can't actually remember.
Unlike my hair
The hairspray did not stick the words into my mind
J: Right.
J: That was poetic.
J: [laughing] Stop moving!
C: Like the shampoo and water that washed the hairspray from my hair...
the years and time, too, have stripped the memories of those prose
from my mind's tongue.
C: I'm so fricking weird!
C: This may be why I like to hang out with more eccentrically-dressed people.
J: Because you're secretly super weird yourself.
J: You just didn't want people to know.
C: Look, that was not that bad for just off the cuff
J: I used to write poetry. It was always about happy stuff, though.
C: I have no time for poetry now.
C: Too busy with two dogs pestering me, and a wife
wanting to pamper me...
J: And you're happy! C: ...against my will.
J: I love how you just make that sound like such a terrible thing!
C: Yes.
C: No time for sad sonnets.
J: So sorry.
C: God, darling, do you have to put this much on?!
Christ alive.
I have got asthma, you know.
J: Lovely! C: Are you done? OK, good.
J: You have lipstick on your teeth. C: Aw, man!
C: Could've told me!
J: There you go, that's Claudia and I putting on each other's make-up.
It's a Wife and Wife Did My Make-Up...
That might not be the title of this video, because that seems awfully long.
If you'd like to see the end result, including the clothes that we switched,
including this dress I'm wearing now,
then just follow the link down in the description
or click the one right up above in the card, which will take you
--or the end screen - I also put it in the end screen.
It will be everywhere!
...Which will take you to the style swap video
and you can see just how well we did.
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