You know those days when things are not going well? And you find yourself
reacting to all the little things they're having around you. Oh, my goodness.
How do you not react? That's why I'm here for you today. Watch closely.
Okay, let's talk about reactions. The reason why you clicked on this is
because you know you've had some out-of-control reactions. Or you have
somebody in your family where you see them overreact on things. And Wow! That
overreaction experience? In the moment, it seems way overdone, doesn't it? But to the
person, it's so real. It is real to them. But as an observer, it's like, "Wow! Okay,
why are we overreacting on this thing right here? It's not that big of a deal."
But why is it that people overreact. I think what we need to do is back up a
little bit and understand what built up to create this overreaction. Well, what
builds up is each day of our life, we have experiences. And each day of our
life, we have good things that happen and then we also have some challenging and
irritating things that happen. And as those good things happen, it's as
though we as a person literally live within a container. And go with me on
this for a second. Watch. We live in a container and and the blue is going to
represent the good things that are coming into your life. Here comes the
good. And as it comes in, the good starts to fill up around you. Now, wouldn't we
like it if the day was full of goodness? Well, you and I both know that there's a
lot of stuff that goes on during the day that can be tough or challenging. And the
red is going to represent those challenging things. So now, challenging
things happen. And it starts to fill up more of the space. So, we got good things
which we always want those to stay and we feel the goodness. But the challenging
things, those things happen to us but they also get stuck or or stay around us.
Most people don't know how to let go of bad experiences. As much
as the mind knows to keep the good experiences. And also when it's not
trained, keeps the bad experiences. So, then here you are from one day's
experience. Well then the next day happens. And it fills up some more. And
you and I both know, if you have kids or a job or you deal with traffic or
weather or finances. There's a lot of tough stuff, right? So, here comes some
more of some tough situations. Then it fills up. Look at that person. Totally
filled up to here. If this person doesn't know how to remove the red. Get the red
out. Meaning all the heated emotions, heated experiences that tough
challenging things that are around them, they literally can fill up with mostly
this red. And we know from the color red that would look like a person who's
overreacting. But once you give full right to the brim, all
it takes is one more small thing to happen. Just one more small thing to
happen to now come in and go right on top of everything that's right at the
brim. And as soon as it hits this, now we start to have spillover. It starts to
spill over because it can't be held or contained within that person anymore and
there's spillover. And once the spillover starts and some of this red comes out of
the person, once it starts to come out, what happens is all the red that's in
this person's personal space, all the red wants to come out. Because if some of its
going to come out, it's all going to come out. But all it took was one small experience
to happen to a person who is up to here with things that have happened to them.
And so, when we see somebody overreact, they're already full. It's not like the
situation was big and terrible. It's just this little thing that happened like
spilled milk. You know, or something's might happen. But the person, when they're
full, they spill over. And when they spill over and the red starts to come out, then
it all comes out. So, then this is what happens, is the person starts to unload
their red. And you got this other person standing next to them and here sorry for
my rough drying here. Now, all this red gets poured in on someone else. This
person who didn't even hardly do anything wrong.
Hardly did anything wrong. And all this red just gets poured over onto this
person and just gets piled into the top of them. They hardly did anything wrong.
Like a child who does one little thing wrong and dad unloads on them. Or mom
unloads on them. And now it's just piling it on top of this person. You see,
this person, unconsciously just found an outlet. And as soon as this outlet was
created for them to let go of this, it's like the body and the mind just go give
it all to them. Even a couple days ago, a couple weeks ago. Even sore spots that
could be clear down here in the bottom get unloaded on this person. This is why
a person reacts. The reason why they react is because they're full. And this
person did not do anything to lower that level. See, you and me? We have to lower
the levels. You can't just go through life and just get all the way falling.
And think it's just going to evaporate someday. It doesn't evaporate. We have to
do emotional management. Mental and emotional management. And that means if
we got some red inside of us. We got to let some of that go. We're going to get it
out of us. Or one more little thing and it's going to trigger and then we'll just
react and we'll unload people. But if you're somebody who reacts
and over reacts then your cup is full. And you've got all kinds of stuff going on
inside of you. And I know what you're going to say. But Kirk, this is tough and
these things are tough." Yeah, everybody has a tough life.
Everybody has difficulties. But it does not give you the excuse to unload on
somebody else. People are not the outlet of all your negative emotions. It's not
where you dump your negative emotions. Where you dump your negative emotions,
you put it in a journal. Go put it in a journal, don't dump on people. That's
unhealthy. What if this is your teenager? What if that's your teenager? You just
unloaded on your teenager. You think your teenager is going to want to hang out with
you and talk to you? No way. The most important time to pay attention to this
is late in the evening. You've already had a big day, you've already had it up
to here with so many different things. And then you know what happens at the
end of the day, your kids get goofy. And they do stupid things. It's just do stuff
that can trigger us. And so be super careful at the end of the day. You don't
unload on your spouse and you don't unload on your kids. And if you can feel
like you were up to here, you get your journal out and you write in your
journal. And unload this. Not on people. But you unload it over here on a journal.
Because once you unload it on a person, you just now hurt that person. You just
poured all your negative energy on that person. What are they supposed to do with
it? It's all your stuff. How are they supposed to manage that? iI's not even
their stuff. This is why you over react. That's why you see somebody else
overreact. They were full. And once they get triggered, it just goes. It just as
much as they can pour on the person it happens. So, for you to stop overreacting,
for you to stop overreacting... You need to lower these levels and you get a journal
out and you write your thoughts and feelings in that journal. So, that you can
lower the levels. So when something happens, it
doesn't trigger you. It doesn't cause the dam to break. It doesn't cause the
spillover. It doesn't cause it to just go flying all over the person. You lower the
levels. No one else is in charge of your levels but you. No one else is in charge.
You're the one in charge. And you got to do the work. Get a journal, write in the
journal. Stop unloading on people so you and drop the levels so you don't react
and overreact. That you can do today. Now, this training video for you I know
is perfect timing. Because if you clicked on it, either have a person you know or
it's you... And you're actually wanting to learn about self improvement or self
mastery. And so to support you and your quest to understand yourself better,
click the subscribe button so that you can receive additional videos that I'm
creating just for you. The second part is take a look at my website at 3key
elements.com. The link is right here below. And also, look at my training
course called Master Your Influence. It's a great class to help you understand you
and the relationship you have with other people. Because when you do better, life
gets better.