Well, this is gonna be different.
Yeah, this is a different video.
So this one is a little more vulnerable I would say than most.
I don't typically talk about my struggles on my channel.
I usually keep things pretty positive, but you know what, I'm a human.
We're gonna make light of this, this is still gonna be a positive, fun video.
However, I'm gonna be pretty real with you guys.
So sit back, relax subscribe if you're new.
Maybe do some sketches with me. Yeah! this is gonna be great.
We're gonna start this video off with some questions for you guys.
So you probably saw the title and I want to get you thinking at the beginning of this video.
I want to know what do you think about when you create?
Whether you're painting, your drawing, your knitting, what are you thinking about?
Do you shut off your mind? Do you replay your regrets from maybe conversations you had earlier that day,
kind of tweaking it in your mind like, ah, I should have said this. I should have done that.
Do set goals? If you're religious, do you pray?
Do you hash out your life? Do you try to better yourself? Do you think of other people?
Do you think of ways you could help other people?
What do you think about when you create?
We obviously have so much time to think when we're creating
and the way we use it can really help or hinder or feed into our artistic journeys, I guess.
So that's what I'm going to dive into in this video.
I've been thinking a lot lately about my life and I love going to art to think about all of these things.
Every question I asked you pertains to the things that go through my mind when I am doing art.
so I guess I started noticing something was wrong with my art. [Giggles]
It wasn't actually the art itself. It was my process. Now that's kind of strange,
but I guess I'll dive into it because I think this could maybe hit home for some of you guys.
So I've been really happy with my art lately. I've been exploring, trying a lot of different supplies.
Practicing Anatomy, Practicing backgrounds.
When I look at my art I'm like, oh I'm hitting a lot of goals that I wanted to hit this year.
I wanted to practice these things and sure, there are so many areas in which I could work to get better.
We all have those, right?
Well... Yeah.
There's a lot of things I could improve but then I think about my thought process while I'm doing art and
I kind of realized that I shut off a lot of stuff the last couple months.
So all these questions that I asked you,
The first question was do you shut off your mind? This is where my struggle has been.
This is what has been wrong with my art lately.
The reason why I'm saying that is because I'm looking at the rest of my life and I'm feeling burnout.
I'm feeling burnout with a lot of social situations a lot of plans that I'm making
and I'm at the point where I'm dreading a lot of plans.
I'm avoiding making plans with people and I think a lot of it is just life or no social burnout.
I don't really know what to call it.
So I come to art to escape, to hash out life or whatever. Whatever I usually do,
and I just - I don't do it. I just kind of shut off my mind.
It doesn't end up being helpful for me. It's like...
Yeah, almost the opposite of why I'm trying to paint and relax. So I'm not feeling relaxed after that.
This is probably really weird struggle to talk about.
I hope it's relatable and I hope that some of you guys experience this with me,
but while I was working on this piece, I realized like, oh my goodness,
I am painting exactly what I've been trying to do for the last two months and it's just to relax.
I'm literally painting myself doing what I'm hoping I could do.
Really I should be looking at my thought process and myself internally in dealing with that.
So throughout this piece. I just started thinking about a lot of life things and
At some points I was angry. At some point I was sad. At some points I felt at peace and then I felt overwhelmed.
It kind of felt like the life of...
Myself, I guess just kind of...
Was just being hashed out again in my artwork.
I usually hash out my life and just I think about a lot of things.
I think really deeply when I do art and
That's what's been wrong lately.
I know there's a lot of things I could work on with my actual art,
but I think the thought process and what goes through your mind really influences art and how you feel about it.
I mean, for me, it's the time I have of solitude, of introversion and if I don't use it correctly if I just turn on Netflix,
Then it's not always helpful. If I always have music playing, for me, It's not always helpful
and it works for some people but yeah, I guess I'm learning again to find that internal balance
of how to work out my life while I do art. [Laughs]
It's been great for this one piece that I have done it,
I hope that I get back to just thinking about a lot of stuff, while I do art.
I feel like the world is a very loud place.
We are in a very fast-paced society where It almost feels like we have to have noise.
We have to have music, we have to have netflix playing in the background, we have to have a podcast.
We could just open a window, listen to the birds,
or close that window and listen to absolutely nothing except our thoughts.
It's really nice. It's freeing. It's liberating.
It's nice to just deal with things in life that way. I don't know.
It's been helpful for me in the past. I pretty much always used to paint in silence.
That probably sounds boring for some people. [Laughs]
But it's a helpful thing for me to recharge.
If I want to pour love into a lot of people then I have to pour love into myself and take care of myself.
So I feel refreshed to mentally take care of myself a little bit.
Let me know down below if you relate to this at all.
Actually by the time you are watching this I'll be on my way to a little mini vacation,
where I'm going to be disconnecting for a while and relaxing, hiking, reading a good book, drawing.
Spending time with my husband. It's gonna be great.
I'm so excited for this guys. I think I'm just at a point where I'm ready to just recharge. [Laughs]
None of the stuff in this video is a bad thing. If you could see me doing this voiceover right now,
I'm literally smiling. Heh.
I guess I'm just sharing my journey with you and I want you to know that,
Wherever you are, you don't have to necessarily be happy
Wherever you are, it's okay to be where you are. It's okay to be in the uncomfortable stages of life.
It's okay to be in the uncomfortable stages of art too.
You can get through it.
You will get through it. Things always get better.
If you need to take a step back from life and just recharge, you're totally allowed to do that.
So yeah. Anyway, this is my finished piece. I'm literally in a bathtub,
with everything around me that makes me feel cozy except that cat.
I'm allergic to cats but it was cute. So I wanted to add it. [Laughs]
Thank you so much for watching. I hope you have a good day.
I hope you do something that helps you feel recharged, too.
Anyway, thanks for listening it to me ramble for 10 minutes. I hope you have a wonderful day. Bye guys!