So I think the first time I came out to myself was after a lot of
exploring and like, a lot of watching YouTube A lot of... you know you find
yourself going down youtube holes and like, finding people you're like:
"That person is really cool! I don't know why they're really cool, but I like them"
and then watching more and then eventually being like this person is me?
It was weird to see myself reflected because I've never seen that
before so having that realization, realizing that that is who I am,
and then being like okay, now I've got to do this, I've got to tell people, I've got to live.
You know I've gotta have my life.
The first realisation to you is like, really scary,
to be like, okay! This is something I maybe knew
about myself and now I definitely know it, and then being like okay now I've got to come out.
I've got to tell people. I've got to walk the walk.
I came out to some friends first, that I was living with at the time. We were at college
and we'd been friends forever and we're still friends now and I think we were
just standing in the kitchen I just said something like.. "I'm a boy" *laughs*
Something along those lines, and then cried, and then we all just hugged,
and then everything was normal! They treated me the same way,
which is, you know, who I am.
When I told my family I basically just said I just said to my mom I was like:
"Would you still love me if I was your son?"
and she was like: "Yeah, of course!"
and it went really, really well. I think, you know, I've come out before to them,
as something different, and they were happy and fine with that
and so I think even though, sort of every time you come out it's really
tough, and it feels.. it feels really tough every time, it's different!
and yeah I'm just super lucky that I know people who are nice! *laughs*
Coming out before to them was really tough,
coming out again I was like: "I've come out to them before and it went okay,
so at least there's a little bit of 'this should be fine.'"
At that time there was nothing in the news, there was no media about
trans people, there was no representation anywhere, there wasn't
like someone in Emmerdale, it was just nothing. So it was like, if you come out
about my sexuality to them there's sort of an understanding of what that is.
If you come out with something that's not really understood that's like:
come out and then do a bit of education! The hardest part physically and mentally is
recovering from surgery, definitely, specifically lower surgery!
Top surgery it was kind of fine and I was like "Okay this is, you know, just
gotta chill out and relax a bit" but lower surgery is just like so much more
intense and also draining on your body and also draining on like your
mental health definitely because there's no information and you don't know if
what's happening is good? You don't know if you're going.. like if you're
covering well, you don't know anything. The hardest part for me is dealing with the media.
Munroe: It's recognised with medical practitioners that this is the
process, and this is how you help trans people, and this guy is saying: "No I'm not
going to help people because I don't want to refer to them how they are
because of my religious beliefs." If this is his religious beliefs then he should
not be in the field and he was right to lose his job.
Piers: "If I identify now as anything, is anything fine?
I mean, can I be anything I want? Can I be an elephant?
Can I literally say: "I'm now an elephant!"
and do I get afforded elephant rights? Can I go to London Zoo?
Presenter: We're talking about a subject that's so sensitive
that Andrea and Terry who you're about to meet felt when
it was time to tell their parents that they're transgender they each revealed
it by text and now they have gone public with it and they're facing opposition
from people who say even though you may feel like a girl you need to compete against the boys.
Harry: It's almost like... "Okay, every Saturday morning I'm gonna wake up
and there'll be something on Twitter that the Daily Mail have written or some
idiot will be saying something horrible about something that they don't know
anything about," and even though it doesn't directly effect me it
effects the community that I'm in. It just reminds you that there's
people out there that aren't welcoming and it's really difficult.
If you're in a position where you can say something and you feel like you can say
something then I think you should, but equally you have to look after yourself
and understand that you don't need to fight everyone's fight all the time and
you can not go on Twitter for a week you can not look at the news for a week
and just like, recover and then come back. If you end up fighting all the time or
if you end up getting into arguments with people online all the time, I mean first of all
no one ever wins. The person who's starting an argument,
or the person who's arguing, don't win.
Every time something bad is said in the news, you should just go on your Twitter and be like:
"Here's some really cool trans people that I know, and you should follow them,
and donate to their surgeries" and all that kind of stuff,
and just offset the bad with some good.
The absolute best thing is seeing yourself in the mirror
realising that that's you, completely. For me, if I've lived my whole
life with dysphoria, this feels like not dysphoria, but I can't explain what
dysphoria is, it just feels like it's gone. Even if I don't even look any
different, it feels different and I don't think I've ever realized that that would
be something that would happen. I feel like if I get through that really bad stuff,
what can be worse than that? What's coming that's worse?
If something else bad happens you can get through that as well
because you've already got through something.
This whole thing has been lots of waiting around.
Every single stage is waiting. You're waiting for hormones,
you're waiting for surgery, you're waiting for the world to catch up
with how great trans people are, you're waiting for all of that stuff,
and I can see the end! I don't feel like I'm ever gonna be
post-transition because I'm always trans. I can't plan because there's surgeries
coming up, or there's something that I have to wait for,
or I can't plan to go on holiday and go swimming because I can't take my top off.
All of that, slowly, those things get removed.
Slowly those things just sort of go away.
And now it feels like I can see the finish line and I can see...
I can plan for a future, like an actual future, where I feel happy completely!
I'm three years into my lower surgery journey
and I feel like there's probably two more to go, maybe three more to go,
and that feels long, and because the recovery is so intense
the recovery is long and I'm always at the end of that waiting for like the next
six months and then I'll got a phone call and I'll have to not work, put plans
on hold, all of that kind of stuff, there's a point in the future where I
don't have to put anything on hold, and and I think that there's a point in
the future where you don't have to wait, and that's the point where I feel like it's the end.
The most profound thing for me from going through transition, has been
when I've talked to, or hung out with, or met trans, queer, LGBTQ people and
just like being in that space with them, and existing with them,
and having friendships, it's just completely something else.
It's like everyone understands each other. Everyone's really nice, and those
friendships are just like 'friendship plus' where there's no
judgment and I think that it's just super important to find that community.
If I could tell my younger self something it would be:
"You are okay exactly how you are. You aren't weird.
People will love you no matter what."
It would also be like: "You are trans!" I'd be like: "Hey! 15 year old, 13 year old you,
13 year old Harry, you're trans!"
Just to give myself that.
I think I'd be able to start living sooner.
I think that's what... I'd definitely tell myself that.