Okay, I want you to imagine you are at the grocery store.
You're there just to pick up a few things for the week,
and while you're selecting your favorite tea or coffee,
someone comes over and taps you on the shoulder and says, Hey,
it's so good to see you. What are you doing here?
And it turns out it's a great friend of yours who you haven't really seen for
several months. Life has just been really busy.
So the two of you have some excited small talk in the middle of the grocery
store. And then just as the conversation is coming to an end,
your friend says, Hey, by the way, we're having a few friends,
some neighbors over this weekend for dinner. You should all come,
bring the kids.
It would be so good to spend some time together and you
absolutely want to say yes with enthusiasm, you would love to get together,
but you also know that your spouse has some tentative plans.
So the truth is you have to respond with maybe,
but when responding with the word, maybe at its best,
it sounds a little bit awkward and at its worst,
it sounds like you don't really want to go. You're not interested,
so you're not committing to saying yes. So in the end,
is there a better way? Is there an alternative to using that word?
Maybe there absolutely is. In this video today,
we'll dive into how to respond to requests, invitations,
and queries with better ways to say yes, no maybe,
and I can't.
Whether it's an invitation to plan a weekend getaway with your closest
friends, give a presentation at an upcoming event, lead a project,
join a volunteer effort, or have dinner with the neighbors.
It isn't only the yes, no,
maybe or I can't, that you need to consider.
It's also the amount of enthusiasm you might feel or how much
reluctance you have and how you might want to express all of that.
For example,
are you wildly excited about saying yes to planning a weekend away with some of
your friends,
or do you know that you have to turn down or say no to that
opportunity to give a presentation?
Because the timing just doesn't work for your schedule,
but you're disappointed to do so.
So whether you're agreeing to take the lead on a project or declining an
invitation,
how you respond has significant impact on your relationships and
your interactions. And the truth is,
having the right phrases not only contributes to sounding more
fluent in the English language,
but it also helps you to clearly and comfortably express
yourself in a variety of situations. And ultimately,
that can lead to less stress for you when you're put on the spot with
an unexpected invitation,
and it can help avoid misunderstandings or accepting
something that you really don't want to do.
All of this requires the understanding of nuance and the ability to
express that nuance, whatever the situation might be.
And that requires going beyond the simple words of yes, no,
maybe, and I can't. So by the end of this lesson today,
you'll be empowered with a variety of phrases that will help you navigate social
interactions, professional requests,
and more so that you can say exactly what you want to say in
response to that invitation or request.
Now, before we go any further, if this is your first time here, welcome.
I'm Annemarie, an English confidence and fluency coach.
Everything I do is designed to help you get the confidence you want for your
life and work in English.
If you'd love to find years of lessons for me and free resources,
including my in-depth fluency training called How to Get the Confidence to
Say What You Want,
you can get all of that and more over at my Speak Confident English website.
Now, to make this lesson easy to navigate, I've divided it into two sections.
First, we're going to review a variety of phrases and sentence starters for
affirmative negative and non-committal responses,
allowing nuance for those yes nos, maybes, and I can'ts.
Then in section two,
we'll take a look at real life examples where we employ these phrases so that
you can use them as templates the next time you have an invitation or a request.
So let's get started with our first category of how to reply with
an affirmative statement. In each example I share with you,
I'm also going to include the general feeling or energy behind
that particular word. So first,
let's take a look at a variety of ways you can respond with an affirmative
statement.
If you have an invitation or a request and you want to say a clear yes,
here are some great ways to do that. First, the simple word, sure,
sure is super friendly and casual.
It's a wonderful way to respond to a request for help or an invitation to
meet someone for coffee. Next,
absolutely this expresses enthusiasm and strong affirmation.
Third,
I'd love to this simple sentence is warm and positive.
It's a wonderful way to respond to an invitation. Number four,
definitely this not only signifies strong affirmation but
also confidence in the statement. Then we have, of course,
which indicates readiness or willingness to jump in and do what needs to be
done. If there's a request that requires your participation in some way,
using the response of Count Me In is a wonderful way to respond.
It's informal and it implies that you're ready to participate in whatever
way you need. Now, similar to Count Me in is I'm in,
which again expresses enthusiasm and willingness to join in and
participate. And lastly,
if you're having some sort of a discussion where plans are getting made and you
want to indicate your affirmative agreement,
you can express that with a simple sounds good. So to recap,
we have sure, absolutely.
I'd love to definitely of course count me in.
I'm in and sounds good.
This is a rather short list of the alternatives we have when we want to respond
with a yes in English.
If you'd like to get a longer list and have distinct casual
versus professional ways to respond with the affirmative,
you can find all of that by visiting this lesson at my Speak Confident English
website. I'll leave a link to that lesson in the notes below the video. Now,
let's move on to negative and non-committal responses that indicate
not only the decision that you've made, but also your general feeling behind it,
whether it's enthusiasm, reluctance, or neutrality.
When you want to respond with a polite no, you could use,
I'm afraid not.
This is a very polite refusal that is also soft and diplomatic.
The next one on our list is not really,
this is indirect and gentle.
We might use this in a response if someone asks if we're interested in doing
something. And number three, no thanks. This is a polite,
simple way to decline something, particularly an offer. Now,
if you need to say no and you want to make it clear that it's not that you are
unwilling, it's just that it's not possible for you, you can respond with,
I don't think that I can. And if you want to add on a hint of regret,
you could say, unfortunately no. And sometimes when we say no to something,
again, it's because we can't for that particular invitation or request,
but we'd love to consider it in the future. And when that's the case,
you can say maybe another time. Now, in that list of negative responses,
I included, I don't think I can,
and maybe another time both of those go beyond saying
no, and they indicate that the reality is you can't for some reason.
So let's move on to look at a few more examples of how you can express.
I can't because there's some sort of conflict or inability. First,
I can't make it unfortunately. This is simple,
clear and also expresses regret.
If you need to say you can't because the timing just doesn't work for you,
or perhaps you're already over committ, you could say, I'd love to,
but I can't commit at this moment.
This is a very soft diplomatic way to express that I can't.
Now, if you feel that you have to be particularly strong and assertive
in saying, I can't, you could use,
I really can't take on anything more right now. And as I mentioned earlier,
there are certainly times when we want to say yes to something,
but it's just not possible in those circumstances.
We have two more alternatives. I wish I could,
but I can't. A very polite, soft way to express that.
And a second option is I can't this week,
but let's check in next week or let's check in next month With that particular
statement, you're leaving the door open to future possibilities.
There's something I want you to pay attention to with some of those I can't
statements, they're not conversation stoppers,
they don't close the door completely. Instead,
they leave the door open for future opportunities.
And something important they do is clarify your
situation right now and allow you to entertain those
invitations or requests at some future date. With that,
let's move on to our final list before getting into some real life examples,
and we'll take a look at several ways to express maybe or
be non-committal in your response. Now, there are eight options we have here,
and the first one is possibly,
this one indicates some uncertainty,
but it leans toward yes. Our second option is,
I'll think about it. This is entirely non-committal.
It doesn't indicate yes or no.
It just says that you're going to give it some consideration.
The next one on our list is, let me see again.
This one is completely non-committal,
and it indicates that you're going to review your calendar, your schedule,
to make sure there are no potential conflicts similar to the word
possibly, and that indication that you're leaning toward, yes,
you could also use,
I might be able to with that simple statement,
you're indicating that you need to look into a few things, think it over,
but you're leaning toward that. Yes. Now,
the next four in this non-committal category,
lean more toward no or indicate some sense of reluctance.
The first one is, we'll see,
this is extremely vague and non-committal, or you could use,
I'm not sure yet. This is honest in your uncertainty,
whether you're uncertain due to your ability or your desire to commit.
If you need more time and you're not ready to give any sense of commitment right
now, you could say, can I get back to you? And lastly,
if you're not sure, and whether you're leaning yes or no right now,
could change. You could say that depends.
With all those examples in place,
I want to share with you some real life examples for how to use those
affirmative negative and non-committal statements so that you can begin to use
them in your own English communication.
We'll take a look at two real life examples for each of those categories.
The yes, no, maybe, and I can't.
Let's start with some affirmative scenarios. In this first one,
imagine an invitation to a party. A friend sends you a text message to say,
Hey, are you free Saturday night?
We're having a few people over for a little get together and you're free.
You would love to join your friends on Saturday night.
So you can respond with simply, absolutely, I'd love to come in.
Scenario number two, a request for help. A coworker says to you,
can you help me out with this report? I'm struggling to make the deadline,
and you happen to have a more relaxed schedule today. So you say,
of course I'd be happy to help. What do you need me to do?
As we learned earlier, that first scenario with Absolutely,
I'd love to come, not only gives a strong yes,
but it shows enthusiasm. And in that second scenario with of course,
you're indicating your willingness,
and now let's move on to examples with negative responses.
In this first one, someone has requested that you do additional work.
For example, maybe your boss says, could you take on another project this month?
It's urgent, but the truth is, you are at capacity.
You don't have any additional mental space or time to take on another project,
so you might respond with, I'm afraid not.
I'm already at capacity right now. In the second scenario,
let's say that you're going to turn down an invitation for a social event.
Perhaps a neighbor says to you,
we're looking for some volunteers to help with a community cleanup this weekend.
Are you interested? And the truth is, you are.
You'd love to participate to help out, but you're not able to do so.
So you could say, oh, I'd love to help out,
but my family and I will be away this weekend. Perhaps I can help another time.
Okay, so you've got your two affirmative examples,
two negative or I can't examples,
and let's finish up with two real life examples focused on
non-committal responses. In this first scenario,
let's imagine a few of your friends are planning some time away.
One of them sends you a text message saying,
we're planning a little road trip next month. Do you think you could make it?
And the truth is, you'd love to join.
You'd love to spend a weekend with your friends,
but you've got a busy work schedule next month,
so you're not sure right now whether it will work to indicate that. You can say,
Ooh, possibly, I need to check my work schedule first.
Can I get back to you later today? And in this second scenario,
let's say that you've received an unexpected job offer.
It's a job that you're interested in,
but it will require quite a bit more time away from home,
so you're not sure whether you want to accept in this particular scenario.
You have an email that ends with, we'd love to have you join our team,
and we look forward to hearing what you think you know that you need to respond,
but you're not ready to commit at this time. In your email response,
you might say, this is an appealing job offer.
I'd really appreciate some time to think it over and discuss it with my family.
If it's okay with you, I'd love to give you an answer by next week.
Before we end today, I want to encourage you to practice.
You've just learned a variety of language that'll allow you to better
communicate, uh, yes, no, maybe,
and I can't with various levels of enthusiasm, reluctance,
and neutrality. So I've got a couple of practice questions for you.
I'm going to share two different scenarios with you,
and I want you to consider what you've learned in this lesson today.
Then I want you to identify the exact phrase that will allow you
to express what you want in responding to this particular
request or invitation. As always,
you can share your examples with me in the comments down below.
In this first scenario,
I want you to consider that someone has asked you to volunteer
for an annual charity event, and it's a charity that you believe in,
you really are interested in helping, but the truth is,
you are at capacity at work right now.
You just can't take on anything else without feeling overwhelmed and
stressed. Based on what you've learned here today,
how would you respond to that request?
And now for the second practice opportunity,
I want you to imagine someone has invited you to speak at an upcoming event
or present at a conference,
and it's on a topic that you're very passionate about.
You would love to say yes to this request.
The problem is the timing of this event overlaps with a
major deadline that you have at work. So you're struggling with what to say,
you'd love to commit, but you're not sure that you can,
and the truth is you need more time.
You need time to review your schedule and see if there's anything that you can
do to make both the deadline and this opportunity possible.
How might you respond with the enthusiasm that you might have for
the idea of speaking at this event and the reality that you
need a little bit more time to think through it?
Take a moment to review what you've learned today and then craft your response.
With that, thank you so much for joining me in today's lesson.
I hope you found this helpful. If you did,
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and I look forward to seeing you next time.