Hello, class serving up, some substitute teacher vibes today tis the season for chapped lips
Not today parents that ruin that kids is lives whoa that's a little click baity
Don't you think but i mean there's a lot of kids that are like, mom i'm going to that party, whether
Potatoes are life Potatoes are love
You, like it or not the only place you're going is your room because you're grounded
I hate you, you ruin my life!
Or it's like parents take, away your phone
You ruin my life!
Her shadow, was following her and i did nothing about it so i'm an, asshole parent that's kid logic for you, my
Mom I think somebody's following us
The black thing on the ground?
That's you!
She's not gonna protect, me from the shadow, let me go facedown on the ground and cry
my pampers off until she cares this is such a kid thing to do when they just like fall over on the growling i
Don't want to do this anymore. Oh see, what'd i tell you another one i
Accidentally called her, by her real name instead of elsa, now i'm an asshole parent
By, the way accurate depiction of child, screams the girls they
Do that high-pitched scream you know the one that like makes you go like death
50 decibels
high, frequency
deafening scream
i
Mean that scream enough is to make it so i never have kids
Are you hate me haley you need to let it go
I'm a sole parent because i won't let. Him ride the dog like a horse
The donkey ride a donkey ride, yeah i'm the donkey's back, does he have a big donkey if you
Have like a great dane then you had a kid and i probably fall
Off so it's probably not a good idea dogs didn't like to have anything on their back especially down us a little, ass dog
The dogs, like, yeah, yeah, bitch cry all you, want it ain't gonna happen, i wouldn't let
Him run around the restaurant with. A knife, so i'm an asshole parent
wait
Hold up this, baby looks familiar
it can't be
Why, did you give him, this big viet nice now
Look, who he grew up to be i mean maybe if y'all would have let him run around with a
Knife he wouldn't have grown up to be freddy, krueger i'm an, asshole parent because i wouldn't let, him eat goat poop
Little man you little upset a little too upset over poop
You are literally crying over shit it's not chocolate is not jellybeans is not
Brownies it's poop, that does he have no sense of smell like, hmm that kind of smells like
What's in my diaper?
I'm not an expert on kids or anything but i'm pretty sure you, don't eat that
Kids like playing with poop, leg, oh i like how. Squishy it is oh?
no, no
Wash your damn hands okay wash your damn hands before you touch mommy
We got these kids right here with, their mom she told the damn kids to grab each, booty cheek
And take a pic with her childhoods already ruined i better be get an xbox for christmas told them, we cannot grow
Bananas in our garden because, we live in sweden so i am an asshole parent
because you chose to live in sweden i can't have it i cannot have my
Banana, tree it's the only thing i ever wanted in my life
And so guess what the damn kid does face first into whatever, makes him upset
Apparently somebody else had the same problem, someone's daughter wanted a banana tree really bad
Which is like a, what like, what's so special, about a, banana tree so her mom stuck a few bananas in the bush like
Be fun to have a kid so you could just troll them all day it's like, they believe everything
You, say i'm the asshole parent because i didn't get her
Mother's day present
I don't we're, gonna spoil that kid here you're only a mom because of me you
Would not be getting presents if it wasn't for me i made you, who you are today so like pay up please haley
when they
When you're older and the force of a watermelon comes out of your vagina you can have a mother's day present sound
Good he couldn't go backwards up the hill because i told him gravity wouldn't. Allow. That, so i'm the asshole parent
Gravity says, no you cannot do that
So, again, all these kids
Face-first into whatever upsets them i hate everything good little snowboard
Hope he tumbles down that hill shut your mouth, was that logic i'm an
Asshole parent because the waves are too strong and i couldn't, make, them, stop i'm so, sorry haley
But i'm not poseidon i'm not, ariel i'm not king triton, well baby look, like, moana
This, was moana before she was famous i?
Made her go to story time at school, where there's music and toys and snacks and friends
Hashtag, asshole parent
No, i don't like school i don't like friends i don't like
Toys, i don't like snack wait wait i like snacks but you lied, about the snack see there's obviously, no snacks here and that's
Why, she's upset, like girl, what is it you want like haley, haley, haley please, what is it you want?
Okay, anything but that would not let
Him be his father's deodorant, so i'm an, asshole parent but
Mom is most so good i just want to put it in my mouth yeah does the texture not like
It doesn't taste bad the texture does not taste bad i would think it would taste bitter or grosser ah
You, put that in armpits and adult armpits they're very sweaty and hairy and disgusting so you
Don't want that in your mouth when i was a little kid i took, my dad's razor the bathroom when i shaved off my eyebrow
I'm an asshole parent because i wouldn't let, him, drive the car
You're, not gonna let, me drive i'm gonna let
You, drive all over, me give him a, chance there's honestly so many bad drivers around here and may as
Well be like six-year-old kids driving
He can't even put his foot on the, gas i'll put him in the passenger seat i'd be like
Okay, billy you could drive now, drive drive bus, okay i'm lame dude like i don't know
How i'd be like this
Is what you, wanted i'm letting you drive and then he start crying because he doesn't know. How
To, drive and then he'd get out of the car and go on the asphalt
I, did the old mind trick of pulling off her nose now she thinks is gone forever
You, probably, like touch it be like, oh
No it's not here i cannot feel it anymore it's gone i remember doing that to my, little cousin like
These little kids they fall for everything i wouldn't let, him put the toilet brush in his mouth clearly i am an
Asshole parent he just wants the brushes teeth look, let the put boy, brush his teeth like glad there's some toothpaste on it you
Gucci, she wanted a ponytail but she doesn't have enough hair, so i'm an asshole parent
Sorry girl i could, give you a headband is that okay yeah, oh you could just be like
Yeah, you have a ponytail now it looks beautiful i hate you mom why didn't
You, make, me with more hair i'm an, asshole parent because, what i called a, mess was really a fun party
Dare you she having a, good, time she got all the barbies although farm animals too yeah
Man that's a good time yeah i didn't, want to serve her warm dinner on top of my old smelly dirty tennis shoes
Shoes i will not eat don't throw
A fit i wanna eat from the shoes i wouldn't let her touch the dogs poop, so i'm an, asshole parrot
Burnin, squishy and nice and this mom right here taking but selfies for her teenage girl really
deborah really come on now, who are these for why are you encouraging this i
Hate everything, about this pic mommy taking selfies in the dressing room trying on new, bikinis
While her son wants to kill himself like
I can't take this anymore i can't do this i swear if i see a big saggy
Bootie, one more time i'm gonna break my big-ass head through this damn wall and this one is probably the worst
Mom gives eight-year-old, botox
come on come on
Maybe you should use your brain, why, would a year old need botox
They got the most flawless but eautiful skin, no wrinkles botox is for wrinkles you know. You're gonna go to
Jail, right you don't need, botox until you're like 30 cuz, then you start getting wrinkles but i met an
eight year old
I'm done i'm done where's mom hug her comment below, let me know
Which one was the worst are tell, me what's the worst thing your parents have, ever done to you
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Love, you guys so much things rushing back. Guys