celebrities in particular get a lot of
abuse on the internet especially on
Twitter because you have this direct
connection and some people are just
inherently cruel
some people write very harsh things to
famous people without even thinking
about the fact that there are people so
tonight I wanted to give you a chance to
think about it what you don't see when
you send a nasty tweet is that it can
actually cause pain over the last few
months we've been asking some of our
celebrity guests to read some actual
tweets directed at them and here they
are for your amusement and hopefully
reflection
if Mike Piazza's hair caught fire and
someone put it out with a cast-iron
skillet
you'd have Danny McBride there's a new
show where james van der beek plays
james van der beek
guys get your backpacks and boots this
is the apocalypse I'm sure of it
I would rather chop my arm off and
myself with my detached limb and watch
Katy Perry the movie what the is
wrong with the world
Zooey Deschanel is overrated I I think
I'm underrated you know that if you
skinned Larry King and ironed out his
leather you could make enough coats to
give one to every poor child in America
David Spade this guy just gets right to
it I like to Kristen Stewart more when
she was a boy Matt LeBlanc looks so old
what happened let you go if you climbed
inside Snooki's vagina it would probably
be like the Pacific Ocean
ever since Matisyahu was shaved he looks
like old fat Justin Bieber Thanks
dear God give us back to parking will
give you Justin Bieber doesn't bother me
thank you
Oh what something nobody says about me
[Applause]
let's go around