>> Stephen: HEY!
WE'RE BACK!
FOLLOWING THE DEBATE LIVE WITH GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE, THE
AUTHOR OF THE BOOK "LET ME FINISH."
NOW, GOVERNOR, LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, WE ACTUALLY DID SHOTS
OF TIKI WHETHER.
>> WE -- SHOTS O TEQUILA.
DID.
PEOPLE LOVE THAT.
>> Stephen: YOU AND ME DRINKING?
>> I THINK WE DRANK TOO MUCH.
>> Stephen: I THINK YOU DRANK TOO MUCH.
NO ONE'S EVER SAID THIS TO YOU BEFORE YOU'RE A ( BLEEP ) LIGH
WEIGHT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> I'M SO USED TO THESE JOKES IN
THIS THEATER.
THE HOSTS CHANGE BUT THE JOKES REMAIN ON STAGE.
>> Stephen: DID YOU SEE WHO YOU THOUGHT WOULD DO BEST ON THE
DEBATE STAGE?
>> I THINK HARRIS SHOWED SHE'S GOT THE ABILITY TO STAND UP
THERE AND DO WATT NEEDS TO BE DONE.
AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE NOW.
I THINK BIDEN, BECAUSE TO HAVE THE DEMOGRAPHICS OF THE
ELECTION -- WHAT I MEAN IS TRUMP ONLY WON THE ELECTION BY 77,000
VOTES IN MICHIGAN, WISCONSIN AND PENNSYLVANIA.
MOST OF THOSE VOTES WERE WHITE WORKING CLASS PEOPLE WHO DID
THAT.
>> Stephen: THOSE ARE JOE'S PEOPLE.
>> THOSE ARE JOE'S FOLKS.
JOE BORN AND RAISED IN SCRANTON.
I THINK DEMOGRAPHICALLY HE'S STILL CONCERNED MOST ABOUT BIDEN
BUT -- >> Stephen: AND THERE'S
NOSTALGIA.
IF WE COULD GET BACK TO NORMAL.
>> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: GOING BACK ONE ADMINISTRATION WILL KIND OF
RESTORE THAT WITH SOME PEOPLE.
>> AND JOE IS A CALMING FIGURE.
HARRIS HAS TO BE THAT, TOO.
SHE SHOWED SHE COULD BE AN ATTACKER AND PROSECUTOR AND
THAT'S GOOD AND ESTABLISHES HER CREDIBILITY, BUT NOW SHE'S ALSO
GOT TO SHOW SHE'S NOT GOING TO BE A MIRROR OF TRUMP.
I DON'T THINK THAT WINS.
>> Stephen: I DON'T SEE A MIRROR.
SHE HAD REASONED THINGS TO SAY, NOT JUST RED MEAT.
SHE HAD IDEAS.
YOU CAN'T SAY HE HAS IDEA.
>> A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T THINK HER IDEAS ARE REASONED.
MOST PEOPLE ON THE STAGE DON'T AGREE WITH MEDICARE FOR ALL.
IF THOSE PEOPLE ON THE STAGE DON'T AGREE, WHAT DO YOU THINK
PEOPLE IN SCRANTON WILL THINK?
SO SHE HAS WORK TO DO.
BUT LISTEN, IF YOU WERE HER, YOU CAME OUT OF IT TONIGHT FEELING
FABULOUS, UNLIKE LAST NIGHT WITH BILL de BLASIO AND BETO
O'ROURKE.
BETO LOOKED LIKE THE KID WHO HADN'T DONE HIS HOMEWORK AND GOT
CALLED ON IN CLASS.
WHAT, ME?
I DIDN'T DO THE READING.
YOU KNOW, HE JUST LOOKED AWFUL.
>> Stephen: HI DID HIS WORK FOR SPANISH CLASS.
>> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: FOR HISTORY CLASS.
THAT'S RIGHT.
( APPLAUSE ) AND BARELY, BY THE WAY.
HE'S GOT TO MAKE HIS WAY ON TO LOSER ISLAND.
BY THE WAY, I FORGOT, KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND.
GET A TICKET WITH BILL de BLASIO AND GO BACK TO
NEW YORK.
>> Stephen: I THOUGHT SHE DID OKAY.
>> SHE INTERRUPTED TOO MUCH.
THAT'S WHY NEW YORKERS DON'T WIN BECAUSE PEOPLE FIND THEM EDGY
AND CAUSTIC, UNLIKE THE CHARMING PEOPLE FROM NEW JERSEY.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.
IN 2020 ELECTION, WHAT DO YOU THINK TRUMP'S WEAKNESS IS?
>> LISTEN, THE BIGGEST WEAKNESS HE HAS IS SWINGING AT EVERY
PITCH.
>> Stephen: HE CAN'T LET ANYTHING GO.
>> HE SWINGS IN THE DIRT, AT THE BALL OVER HIS HEAD.
>> Stephen: DOES THAT MEAN HE WILL BE BAITED BY THE OPPONENT
IS THIS.
>> YES.
LAST TIME HE WAS TEFLON ON THAT, NO MATTER WHAT WAS SAID, IT
DIDN'T MATTER.
BUT NOW PEOPLE HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO HIM FOR THREE
YEARS -- >> Stephen: AND THEY SEE THE
RAMIFICATIONS OF HIS CAVALIER ATTITUDE.
>> FOR SOME PEOPLE, THEY FEEL THAT WAY.
YOU'RE TRYING TO CATCH ME ON THAT.
>> Stephen: I DON'T THINK ANYBODY DEFENDS WHAT'S HAPPENING
TO THESE CHILDREN ON THE BORDER.
>> NO, AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, HE DESERVES PART OF
THE BLAME BUT THE BIGGEST PART GOES TO JEFF SESSIONS BECAUSE HE
WAS AN AWFUL ATTORNEY GENERAL.
>> Stephen: WHAT IDIOT APPOINTED HIM?
>> THERE YOU GO, RIGHT?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WHOEVER DID THAT,
OUT!
( PIANO RIFF ) THESE ARE VERY TIGHT TIMES.
I WANT TO THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
IT'S A PLEASURE.
THIS IS MORE OF THAT CLOONEY PINKO, SO BE CAREFUL, YOU MIGHT
BE A DEMOCRAT AFTER YOU DRINK IT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
ONE QUICK RULE, NOW THAT THE SCOTUS HAS RULED THAT
GERRYMANDERING IN EXTREME WAYS, IS YOU KNOW, UNCONTROLLABLE, IS
DEMOCRACY DEAD?
( LAUGHTER ) >> NO, IT'S OKAY.
>> Stephen: YEAH, BECAUSE YOUR SIDE WON.
( LAUGHTER ) "LET ME FINISH" IS AVAILABLE
NOW.
GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CARLY ZAKIN AND DANIELLE WEISBERG!