hi I'm Jack and I'm transgender let me
take a guess at some of the thoughts
that might be running through your head
right now
transgender wait does that mean that
they're actually a man are actually a
woman huh I wonder if he's had the
surgery yet oh oh now I'm looking at his
crotch look to the right that's a safe
place to look yes I knew it no real man
has hips like those my friend's daughter
is transgender I wonder if they know
each other oh my gosh he is so brave I
would totally support his right to use
the men's bathroom wait but how does he
use the bathroom how does he have sex
okay okay let's stop those hypothetical
questions before we get too close for my
comfort I mean don't get me wrong I did
come here today to share my personal
experiences being transgender but I did
not wake up this morning wanting to tell
an entire audience about my sex life I
mean of course that's the problem with
being trans right people are pretty much
always wondering how we have sex and
what kind of equipment we're working
with below the belt being trans is
awkward and not just because the gender
I was assigned at Birth mismatch is the
one I really am being trans is awkward
because everyone else gets awkward when
they're around me you know people who
support me and all other trans people
wholeheartedly are often so scared to
say the wrong thing so embarrassed to
not know what they think they should
that they never ask a part of what was
so nerve-racking about coming out as
transgender was knowing that people
wouldn't know what I meant
and when someone comes down as gay
people know what that means but when you
come out as trans you have to face the
misconceptions that will color other
people's impressions of you even after
you've educated them and you will have
to educate them when I came out I wrote
a 10 page encyclopedic document with a
zip file attachment of music and videos
that I sent to every single person I
came out to and I kept in my email
signature for months afterwards because
you also don't ever stop coming out and
I came out to the accountant helping
with my taxes and the TSA agents who
didn't know which one of them should Pat
me down the man
or the woman I mean I just came out to
everyone watching this and when I came
out to my dad to my great relief he was
totally cool with me being trans but as
soon as I started talking about
physically transitioning he freaked and
I quickly realized it was because he
like so many other people think that
physical transition means just one thing
the surgery now listen if there were one
magical surgery that could turn me into
a tall muscular societally perfect image
of a man overnight I'd sign up in a
heartbeat unfortunately it isn't that
simple there are dozens of different
gender affirming surgeries from chest
surgeries to bottom surgeries to facial
feminization and man sculpting many
trans people will only ever undergo one
procedure in their lifetime if that may
be because they don't personally feel
the need but also because they're
expensive and health insurance is only
beginning to cover them instead the
first step for a trans person seeking
physical transition is usually hormone
replacement therapy hormones are why I
have a deeper voice and some sparse
whiskers on my neck and a giant pimple
on my chin basically they put you
through a second puberty it's a blast
now because our transitions are slower
and steadier than historic
misconceptions can lead people to
believe there can be some confusion
about when to call someone by their new
name and pronouns there's no distinct
point in physical transition at which a
trans person becomes their true gender
as soon as they tell you their new name
and pronouns that's when you start using
that name in pronouns and I know it can
be difficult to make the change you
might slip up here and there I've
slipped up myself with other trans
people but you know I always think to
myself if we can change from calling
Puff Daddy to P Diddy and if we
apologize profusely when we've used the
wrong gender pronoun for someone's pet
cats I mean I think we can make the same
effort for the real humans in our lives
now there is no topic that makes other
people more awkward about trans people
than public bathrooms the bathrooms the
latest political flashpoint for LGBTQ
opponents here's a fun fact about
bathrooms
more US Congressmen have been convicted
of assaulting someone in a public
bathroom than trans people have been the
truth is we trans people are so much
more scared of you than you are of us it
was a huge point of discussion and trans
communities about which bathroom to
start using and wins so we don't attract
attention that could lead to violence
against us I personally started using
the men's room when I started getting
confused and frightened looks in the
women's room even though I was petrified
to start going into the men's room often
we ought to just not go to the bathroom
at all
a 2015 National Survey of trans people
found that 8 percent of us had had a
urinary tract infection in the past year
as a result of avoiding restrooms these
bathroom bills aren't protecting anyone
all they're doing is ensuring that when
trans people are assaulted in bathrooms
the law will no longer be on our side
when we report it being trans means a
daily onslaught of these misconceptions
and I have it pretty easy I am a white
able-bodied guy sitting nearly at the
peak of privilege mountain for
non-binary people for trans women for
trans people of color it is so much
harder so I've given you a starter pack
of trans knowledge that I hope will lead
to more learning on your own talk to
trans people listen to us amplify our
voices take the heat off of us and
educate those around you so we don't
have to every time maybe some day when I
say hi I'm Jack and I'm transgender
the only response I'll get is hi nice to
meet you thank you
[Applause]