- [Male Voice] Previously on Bro Dependent,
- Now to say a few words his eldest son, Anderson.
- Fucking sucks, am I right.
He had a nice dick.
Bummer City, population, like my loved ones.
- Nice dude.
- That's my fucking sister dude.
- What?
- I know she's playing all like cute and sweet
with you right now, but she's a
fucking predator dude.
She's like a cute little Wilt Chamberlain.
(upbeat music)
- Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck, fucking fuck.
Fuck dude, stop putting it in the corner,
I can't, no one can get it out of there.
Fuck dude, you're like destroying me.
- Yeah, I have a killer forehand.
- Zach, what's wrong dude?
You're winning.
You're like making a mockery of
my normally devastating return game.
Why are you emoting?
- My dad got me with this super top notch agency
and I'm just like getting a fuck load of opportunities.
- Dude, like chin up buddy, that's good man.
- Yeah, I'm like super connected
to my instrument or whatever,
but, like, do you know what an audition is?
You have to like drive there and like
know your lines and shit.
- Hey, you guys done?
- [Both Men] Fuck off!
- What?
What?
- What's going on?
Fuck, get the fuck out of here dude.
- We're busy, we're playing racquetball.
- Go fuck your wife.
(laughter)
- It's your serve dude.
Honestly dude, I can't help but be like a
little jealous of you, you know?
Like, you look like a talent.
I feel sort of like lost, you know
in the woods, you know, of my brain.
Fuck dude.
It's like my footwork is so good
how do you keep beating me?
- Dude, it's not a competition
can't you just like commiserate with me?
- Yeah, I'm sorry, that driving
stuff sounds like shitty.
Why don't you just like not go, you know?
- Cuz my dad will pull my allowance if I don't.
- Fuck dude!
What the fuck was that?
- That's game.
- Fuck, fucking piece of shit.
- Anderson, you just gotta like ask yourself
what do I love?
- I do dude.
And, like I love hanging out with you
and like doing drugs
but like we already hang out
and all the drugs have been invented.
It's pretty messed up man.
Luckily I was able to like fuck
most of my worries into Marti last night.
Her pussy's like my therapist dude.
(laughing)
- Haha nice dude.
- Oh yeah, it was just like, oh, oh,
you like that?
Do you like how that sex feels?
(laughter)
- Dude I'm so happy for you.
- Yeah dude. I do some pretty good work in there.
Hey, you could have the leftovers tonight if you want.
- Oh no dude, she's all yours, I'm good.
- What?
- You can't smoke in here.
- We're not done dudes.
- You're not supposed to be eating food either.
- Oh, I'm sorry, dad.
- Sorry I'm breaking all the rules, Tommy Bahama.
- Dude, I like your goggles dudes
did you buy those together?
Did you go to Oakley together?
- Are you like swimmers?
(laughter)
- Hey dude, what did you mean Marti's all mine?
- Dude, I spent last night in your sister,
and I gotta say, I'm floating on air.
The first time in my life, it was like
I wasn't just fucking, I was making love.
- Oh.
- I fucking cried when I came dude.
- Fuck, ow dude.
Stop serving so hard.
- I don't want to say that I'm in love with her,
but, I'm definitely falling in love with her.
- Fuck.
Jesus, Andre Agassi.
About Carolyn like she's my sister.
I've watched her fuck up like a hundred guys.
You just fucked her once.
I'm not gonna let her do that to my best friend, all right?
- If you were my best friend
you would want me to be happy.
I want something with substance, dude.
You had that.
- And she died, dude.
- Yeah, I'm aware dude, you never
stop fucking talking about it.
- Fuck you dude!
- Ow dude! Aaaah.
- Dude, I'm sorry, but you're not supposed
to talk shit of the dead dude.
- What the hell's going on in here?
Do I smell weed?
[Both] Fuck you.
- Can't you see we're like fighting.
- Zach, are we fighting?
- I don't know, are we?
- Ow!
- Yeah, I guess we are.
I fall for someone and you're all like
no dude don't do that.
Thanks friend.
- Dude, Zach, I just,
- Fuck you.
- Fuck you dude.
- No dude, I mean it.
Like in a mean way, Fuck you.
- Guys! Get your stuff and get out of here right now.
- Zach.
Fuck.
Oh that's very mature guys.
Very funny, who does that?
(upbeat music)
- Hey, thanks for watching Bro Dependent
on Comedy Centrals' YouTube channel.
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Feels so weird doing this without Zach.
Like he should be here.