Not good.
I am going to explain it all to you
right here, in this video,
so you definitely do not want to miss this.
Hey, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm a narcissist negotiation expert and I'm an attorney and
what I do here in these videos, and on this channel
is I give you all the tips and tricks
that you need to shift the dynamic
so that you can become the most powerful one.
If you want to stop being on the defensive and
finally become on the offensive,
shut down their lies, turn this ship around,
figure out how to be the most powerful one,
then you definitely want to subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell
because I'm going to tell you how to do it.
Okay, I have dealt with the worst of them,
I've been not only dealing with them in negotiations
for more than 20 years as an attorney,
I've actually had to deal with them myself.
I had a narcissistic business partner,
which was absolutely one of the worst things
that I had to deal with, ever.
So, I have a deep understanding of the psyche of them and
I also completely empathize with what you guys are dealing with,
so, I understand what happens when narcissists lose,
like, when you're ready to move on,
when you're ready to finally get what you want,
I want you to be ready.
So, here we go.
Let me just explain something to you,
narcissists have no sense of self,
they are very empty, like a shell inside.
They overcompensate, they layer on all kinds of things
because they're basically trying to feed this need
for feeling like they have some value from the outside
instead of doing it from the inside,
which is where they should be trying to do it and
they're going about it all the wrong way,
but that's what they're trying to do.
It's like trying to feed somebody with their mouth closed and
the food will never get inside there,
but that's what they're trying to do and
because of that, they actually have a deep-seated sense of neediness,
but they're overcompensating constantly,
so they actually really deeply,
they’re trying to show that they're in charge,
to show that they're in control,
layer on all this stuff to make it look like
they are powerful, prestigious,
it's all about the optics for them constantly,
so, losing is like about the worst thing
that could possibly happen to them,
it's not a good thing.
It's definitely one of the worst things that could happen to them.
If you want to know what the signs are
that they're starting to lose control,
you can definitely check out my video on
“Signs that they're starting to lose control”,
I have a whole video on that, which you should probably check out and
I did actually interview Dr. Bandy Lee,
who's one of the most highly regarded psychiatrists,
she's actually a medical doctor who's taught at Yale,
she's authored many books on narcissists and
she's a total specialist on narcissists and personality disorders and
she has a deep understanding of this personality type,
I loved one of her explanations on it,
she says those with pathological narcissism are abusive and
dangerous because of their catastrophic neediness.
She says, “Think of a drowning person, gasping for air,
a survival instinct may push you down, in order to save one's own life”.
In the manner that the body needs oxygen,
the soul needs love and self love is
what a toxic narcissist is desperately lacking.
This is why they must overcompensate creating for themselves,
a self-image where they are the best at everything,
never wrong, better than all the experts are,
these genius kind of a thing, like “I am the best at everything”,
all of that sort of thing.
So, that's what narcissists are trying to do,
they're trying to overcompensate at all times,
trying to make themselves look like they are perfect at everything.
So when they lose, they're going to do whatever they can to
So especially, let's say they were in court, they may lie,
they may go around telling people that
this is what happened, and it didn't happen and
you may be like telling people,
“What? That's not how it went down” and you're like shocked.
So, that's one of the things that they may do,
they may tell people flat out lies about how it went down,
so that's one of the things that you may see happen.
If they lose in a court of law,
you may see them actually constantly appealing it,
currently trying to turn the outcome,
constantly filing motions or maybe just ignoring the court orders,
maybe just pretending like it didn't happen that way,
that's another thing that they may do.
So, just pretending, they don't have to abide by whatever the outcome was,
that's another one.
You caused this to happen.
Punish the person, go after them in some way,
make their lives a living hell because they did that,
try to take them down, go after them in another way,
decide that you won this one, but I'm going to win another one,
create chaos around them,
maybe start lying about them another way, triangulate,
go after them by telling other groups of people lies,
that sort of thing.
So they're probably not going to take it very well, more than likely
or they may just completely ghost you,
they may just completely like just go on,
that would be the best thing,
if you can make it happen that way,
where they just move on to a completely different group of people,
hope that you never see them again and
pray that the same thing never happens to you,
that's the best thing that could possibly happen,
that's the outcome that I always pray for for myself as well,
like, I hope I never have to see them again and vice versa.
They'll probably be telling lies about you and who really cares?
You can't control what they're going to say about you,
all you can do is look forward and live your own life and
know your own truth and live your own power.
So, whatever it is that they're going to say about you,
they’re going to say about you, you just know your own truth.
Live your own life, know your power,
you cannot control what they're going to say,
or what they're going to do and
you cannot worry about your outcomes.
Narcissists are always the worst right before they're ready to give up.
It's okay.
Don't worry about how they're going to behave
because they want you to feel that way,
they want you to worry about how they're going to behave,
they're like two-year-olds having a tantrum,
they want you to be going
“Oh my God, they're going to act like this crazy person,
I better not move forward, I better not do this…”
So then you live in this fear, this abject horror
that they're they might do whatever they're going to do,
so then you don't live your life,
that is no way to live, I can tell you for sure.
It is definitely better to move past them and
be on the other side of this thing. Definitely.
So, you can step past them having their tantrum,
have them in your rear-view mirror, it's fine.
They'll do whatever they're going to do,
they're going to leave whoever in their wake and
continue to have their destruction with whoever's around them,
but you're not going to be in their space anymore,
because once you expose them,
they don't want to be around you anymore,
because now you know who they really are,
they'd rather honestly be around people who
they can trick into believing that they're wonderful,
they rather be around people who are
giving them all the adulation, saying that they're amazing all the time,
they want to be revered,
so they'd rather be in groups of people who are revering them,
step past them once they're having their tantrum,
let them do that, expose them,
It's fine, you will live through it,
Okay, “Know your truth”, put that in the comments,
grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet
at winmynegotiation.com.
It's totally free.
Join my free private Facebook group
“Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”
to have that support, you will need that,
make sure you give this video a like, a share,
so other people who are in your position,
can have that support as well and
subscribe to this channel, hit that notification bell.
You can do this. We got your back.
That's why I'm here, why I created this community and
we are right here with you,
giving you all the tools, tricks and resources that you need.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
Remember today's a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I will definitely see you in the next video.