I recently celebrated my birthday.
[APPLAUSE]
It was lit.
[LAUGHTER]
As the kids say.
It was off the chain.
It was bomb.com to the ram-a-lam-ding-dong.
I don't know if they say that, but that's what I--
[LAUGHTER]
It's hard to stay on top of the latest slang,
cause it's always changing.
As soon as an older person starts saying it,
young people stop saying it.
[LAUGHTER]
Cause something that was on fleek yesterday,
now it's totally cringe.
And if you're thirsty for tea, it's
not really tea, it's gossip.
And if it's salty, it's shady.
And shady is nasty.
And nasty is Gucci, if you're snatched.
If you're not snatch, nasty it's just nasty,
and Gucci is something you can't afford.
It's confusing AF.
[LAUGHTER]
It's crazy.
[APPLAUSE]
What's crazy is all these words start with one person.
Do you realize that?
One person says it, and suddenly it's everywhere.
I have a few questions.
Number one.
How is that person so powerful that whatever random thing
that they say, fire, lit, whatever, we start saying?
Two.
Is it always the same person that comes up with these words?
Or is it a different person?
Three.
Why do we say Netflix and chill?
Because if we're doing it right, we're
not Netflixing or chilling?
You know what I'm saying?
[APPLAUSE]
Listen, I don't want to toot my own tuba,
but I'm pretty famous.
People know me.
I have influence.
So why can't I come up with a slang that'll catch on?
That's what I'm going to do.
Here's one I'm starting today.
I'm going to start saying knee-goatee.
And just so you know what it is, knee-goatee
is that patch of hair you miss when you're shaving your legs.
[LAUGHTER]
Look, we're not going to need it a lot.
But when you do, I got you.
[LAUGHTER]
Is that a knee-goatee I see?
When I was growing up, slang was totally different.
I thought it'd be fun to see if some millennials in my audience
know the way we used to lay down the funk?
And so how many of you jive turkeys
are millennials out there?
[CHEERING]
All right.
Let's see if y'all know what these things are.
Who raised their hand?
Are you a millennial?
Yeah.
OK.
Oh, my gosh.
Stand up.
Hi.
How are you doing?
Good.
How are you?
Good.
Can I hug you?
Yeah, sure.
Hi.
How are you?
I'm good.
How are you?
[INAUDIBLE]
All right.
What's your name?
Cierra.
Hey, Cierra.
How old are you?
Oh, my gosh.
24.
What do you do?
I'm an expense analyst.
Uh-huh.
What does that mean?
I work with numbers all day.
Oh.
Do you like that?
Yeah.
OK.
Good.
My boss is watching.
Oh, so you have to say it.
OK.
I see.
[LAUGHTER]
[INAUDIBLE]
All right.
Do you know what boob tube is?
Like TV.
Right?
Aw, that was too easy.
All right.
What does out to lunch mean?
Out to lunch?
[LAUGHTER]
No.
It's not a trick question.
It means something if someone's out to lunch.
You're eating?
[LAUGHTER]
Nope.
Out to lunch?
That's really all I can think of.
Yeah, I know.
It seems like-- it's your kind of crazy or confused.
Oh, OK.
If someone's out to lunch, they're not really here.
All there.
OK.
They're somewhere else.
OK.
You know what I mean?
OK.
Yeah.
All right.
That's all for you.
OK.
Thank you.
[APPLAUSE]
She stands back up like maybe there's a gift or something.
[LAUGHTER]
I'm sorry.
No.
All right.
Who else said?
[SCREAMING]
All right.
Hi.
What's your name?
Sarah.
Hi, Sarah.
Here.
You want to hold this?
Sure.
Because I can't do two things at once.
I've got to hold these.
OK.
All right.
How old are you?
I'm 26.
26.
OK.
And did you know out to lunch?
No.
Not at all.
No.
All right.
What if I said my dogs are barking?
What would you think that means?
Is that your legs are hurting?
Oh, that's close.
Your feet are hurting?
Yes.
Wow.
[APPLAUSE]
That's so impressive.
I'm an old soul.
As a joke I said that to Portia the other day.
I said, my dogs are barking.
And she said, what?
What?
And I said, it's like an old expression.
She goes, no, it's not.
I said, it is.
I'm not making it up.
I'm an old soul.
Yeah.
You are an old soul.
Thank you.
Sit down.
All right.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
Pick me!
[SCREAMING]
Oh, over here.
There's some people over here.
I need to get to this side.
Hi.
Stand up.
Don't act shocked.
You had your hand up.
You volunteered.
Hi.
Hello.
What's up there?
What are you looking at?
[LAUGHTER]
Can I hug you?
Yeah.
Hi.
Oh, my gosh.
OK.
All right.
Hi.
Are you going to be able to talk?
Yeah.
OK.
All right.
Hold this.
What's your name?
Gracie.
Huh?
What is it?
Gracie.
Grazie?
Yes.
It's Gracie.
Gracie.
OK.
At first I thought you said crazy.
That was your name.
It's a weird name to name your child, Crazy.
All right.
Hi, Gracie.
Hi.
How old are you?
15.
15 years old.
OK.
Yes.
OK.
So did you know any of those things I just said over there?
I knew the dogs barking one?
You knew it?
How did you know my dogs are barking?
My grandpa used to say it a lot.
Yeah.
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah.
All right.
What does it mean if I go, like I'm having a gas, man?
I don't know.
Man, I'm having a gas.
Your grandpa didn't say that?
[LAUGHTER]
No.
He did not.
It means you're having fun.
Oh.
That's what the hippies used to say.
They were having a gas, man.
But that makes no sense.
Yeah.
What?
That makes no sense.
It doesn't.
Well, neither does fire or lit.
OK?
I guess.
But you say it.
Yeah.
All right.
So from now on you'll start saying when you're having fun--
like when you leave here and say, I went to The Ellen Show,
and they're like, did you have fun?
You're like, I had a gas, man.
OK.
All right.
OK.
All right, Gracie.
Bye.
[APPLAUSE]
Over here.
[CHEERING]
Hi, how you doing?
Good.
How are you?
I'm good.
What's your name?
Kennedy.
How old are you?
I'm 23.
23.
OK.
Do you know that song "Brick House?"
Yeah.
You do?
Yeah.
What does it mean when you call somebody a brick house?
They're dumb?
[LAUGHTER]
Do you know the lyrics to "Brick House?"
She's a brick house.
She's my [INAUDIBLE].
Just letting it all hang out.
She's 36, 24, 36.
What a winning hand.
[LAUGHTER]
I don't know it that well.
Well, she wouldn't be dumb if you're
saying "what a winning hand."
I guess not.
Yeah.
So what is she?
Smart?
No.
Sit down.
[LAUGHTER]
That's right.
You know what it is.
She has a nice body.
She's hot.
She's attractive.
Exactly.
[LAUGHTER]
Yes.
[APPLAUSE]
All right.