I’ve been a breakup coach for 13 years now, working with tens of thousands of clients
from around the world, helping them get a second chance with their ex… and one of the
most common questions I get asked is, “how do I know if it’s over? Should I give up?”
There’s no magic test that will answer that question, but you can usually tell based on
a number of common signs… in my experience, the 7 indicators I’ll be covering here in
this video all tend to be signs that your ex is gone for good, or close to it. The more
of these 7 things apply to your situation, the more concerned you should be. Before you panic,
though, be sure to watch the whole video and then take my free breakup quiz to calculate your odds
of getting them back. Along with the 7 signs I’ll cover here in this video, the quiz will
analyze your answers and give you a reasonably good idea of how desperate your situation is.
I’ll link to the quiz in the description below, or you can go to BreakupBrad.com/Quiz.
Now, let’s start with the first sign that indicates your ex has moved on…
Sign #1 - You’ve already tried every trick in the book, and nothing has worked.
Look, if you’ve signed up for my Ex Factor program and diligently applied the step-by-step techniques
I cover in the program… you’ve done everything I recommend in all my past YouTube videos,
everything in my program, and been patient for at least a few months…
and you’re still not getting anywhere with your ex or feeling like you’ve made any progress,
that’s a very bad sign, unfortunately.
Not to toot my own horn here, but most of my techniques and the advice I give is proven
and based on solid psychological principles. I’ve seen all of the techniques and tactics that I
recommend work effectively many times before for past clients, so I know they work. That’s why,
if you’ve tried everything and avoided making any mistakes along the way, but have never seen
any success… if your ex feels further away than ever even though you’ve done everything
I recommend in my videos and my program to a T… you’ve run out of things to try. At that point,
I usually recommend you start moving on and planning for a future without your ex…
you can still try to reach out every now and then, keep up a bit of a connection
if possible with your ex, but expect that it won’t work out and begin dating new people.
NOW, before we move on to sign #2, remember that this only applies if you actually use my 3R system
and apply a full period of No Contact with your ex, send them positive messages to flirt and build
attraction, and so on… if you haven’t already tried all these strategies and used them properly,
you’re not at this point yet. But when you HAVE actually tried every trick in the book
and made no progress, that’s when you know it’s probably game over for good.
Sign #2 - From the time of the initial breakup onwards,
your ex has been 100% committed to the breakup and never shown any kind of regret or mixed feelings.
Basically, if your ex has always taken the same firm line about the breakup -- if they always made
it clear it was over, and stayed firm with that messaging for a month or two since breaking up,
that’s not a good sign for your chances of getting them back.
Some people are simply more strong-willed than others, and some people are more calculated when
they are pondering breaking up. Your ex may have decided months ago that a breakup was needed,
convinced themselves that there was no other option and they needed to be 100% committed
to a permanent breakup from day 1. This is not something most people are capable of, but some
people can really be this cold and calculated about committing to a breakup no matter what.
If your ex has told you they missed you, asked if you’re dating anyone new, said they wished
you were with them right now… that kind of thing that suggests they miss you or have
regrets about ending things… that’s a different story. But when an ex is so firm and consistent
for months after a breakup, always telling you it’s over and never giving you any hope,
that eventually becomes too strong of a message to ignore and usually means they’ve already moved on.
Sign #3 - They’re in a serious relationship with someone new.
Rebound relationships are common after a breakup. If your ex is in a rebound,
don’t worry too much, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing for your odds of getting them back.
Watch the previous video I made about rebounds by clicking the link in the description below
for more on what counts as a “rebound”.
For the purposes of this video, I”m talking about a SERIOUS relationship with someone new.
If you ex is just sleeping with someone new 2 weeks after you broke up, well that sucks and
I’m sorry you had to learn about it, but it’s not a ‘serious relationship’. A serious relationship
is one that lasts at least a few months, it’s public and obvious that they’re a couple,
they maybe even move in together or go on trips and make future plans together…. Y’know,
an actual relationship, not just a quick fling to try and get your mind off the pain of a breakup.
If your ex is actually in a serious relationship with someone new and it’s obviously not a rebound,
that’s often a nail in the coffin, or at least a sign that you’re looking at a
seriously difficult situation. The more serious and long-lasting your ex’s new relationship is,
the more it signals your ex is gone for good.
There’s one exception to this -- sometimes exes reconnect after years,
with both having been in other relationships with new people during that time apart… sort of the
Notebook type Hollywood love story where soulmates find themselves again after years apart. This is
rare, but I do very occasionally have clients who get back together with an
ex from years ago… if that’s going to happen, you’ll still need to move on in the meantime,
and hope that you might work things out years down the road. For now, your ex being
in a serious committed relationship with someone new is a strong sign they’ve moved on for good.
Sign #4 - They’ve moved away or blocked you for months.
This one is simple -- if your ex moved across the country or on another continent,
and they’re far enough away that seeing them regularly would be
impossible -- it’s a sign they’ve at least committed to a massive life change
that will ensure the breakup is permanent. If your ex moves far away after the breakup
and hasn’t shown any very strong indications that they may change their mind or that it
might only be a temporary move, it’s a very bad sign, and often they’re gone for good.
Similarly, if your ex blocked your number and blocked you on social media after breaking up and
they’ve never unblocked you after several months or longer… they don’t want to hear from you, and
you have no way to contact them, so it’s unlikely you’ve got much hope. You have to respect any ex’s
desire for space if they block you, and attempting to contact them through other means is dangerous
and usually backfires. The only way you’ll get your ex at this point -- after being blocked for
months now -- is if your ex unblocks you on their own. It’s a sign, though, that they’ve moved on.
Sign #5 - It’s been years since the breakup.
We already covered this earlier, so let’s keep it simple: the longer it’s been since your breakup,
the lower your chances of ever getting back together. Again, there are definitely exceptions
to this, but most people will fully move on after a year or two apart. That’s enough time for 99%
of people to accept a breakup, adapt, and find someone new. So if you’ve been trying for a year
or more, or even longer and you’re just hoping and praying that you might still have a chance..
Don’t get your hopes up. It’s likely your ex has moved on by this point.
Take my free quiz at BreakupBrad.com/Quiz to confirm if you’ve still got any hope.
Sign #6 - They repeatedly try to convince you to accept the breakup.
Some people seem to be unable to accept the reality of the situation. You probably aren’t
in that small group of people who live in denial after a breakup, but this does happen
occasionally. If your ex -- and everyone else in your life -- has been trying for a long time
to accept the breakup and accept that your ex is gone, and you still keep holding on
to hope… you need to consider whether you’re just not willing to acknowledge the reality.
Again, like sign #2 we discussed earlier, this only applies in extreme cases…
if it’s been months now and your ex has repeatedly told you in no uncertain terms
that you need to move on, and other people in your life are trying to convince you that your
ex is actually serious and you need to take their words at face value….
That’s the kind of situation where this is a clear indication that your ex has moved on for good,
and you do need to listen to what everyone is telling you and work on moving on.
Sign #7 - They don’t respond to any attempts to incite jealousy or ask about your dating life.
If you’ve signed up for my Ex Factor program, then you’re probably aware
of a technique that I teach called “Covert Jealousy”. Covert Jealousy is a sneaky tactic
that allows you to use a little bit of jealousy to help change your ex’s mind about breaking up…
and eventually make them want you back. If you’ve used this technique correctly,
it usually works like magic, and you’ll definitely get a response from your ex… but if you’ve used
Covert Jealousy exactly how I describe in my program, and you’re not getting any kind of
reply from your ex at all… that can often indicate that your ex isn’t emotionally invested in you any
more, and is moving on. By itself, this doesn’t always mean your chances of getting back together
are completely over, but it’s definitely not a good sign and often means your ex is over you.
Similarly, if your ex has never shown any interest in your dating life,
if they don’t care at all when you show up to a party with a new date… the longer that goes on,
and they show zero interest in your life (especially your dating life)... and if they don’t
respond to jealousy… it’s a bad sign and they’re probably over you. This is probably the least
significant sign on this list, but it is usually an indicator that suggests your ex is moving on.
Before I wrap up, remember to take my free quiz at BreakupBrad.com/Quiz right now to calculate
how desperate your current situation is… and you’ll also see some customized advice on what
to do moving forward to get them back, if that’s still a possibility. Click the quiz link in the
description below or go to BreakupBrad.com/Quiz, it takes 4 or 5 minutes at most and it’s free.
Thanks for watching guys, I wish you the best of luck and I hope you found this video helpful…
as always, don’t forget to subscribe and shower me with praise in the comments below…
or at least ask a question or give me some feedback! Talk to you soon.