- I am single, but currently dating, and I've been
finding myself in a lot of those same, same situation
with text messaging and men these days.
One guy, I met him but we never got around
to going on a date because every single day,
he would text me, hey, or hello.
After a while I got annoyed, so I kind of told him,
hey, by the way, you know, what's your deal?
Because you keep texting me those one word and you keep
saying the same hey every day.
So instead of responding, like the very next day,
he texted me, hola, just to mix it up a little.
(laughter)
So I felt like--
(laughter)
Right!
So I guess he was probably paying attention,
but at the same time, that's really not the point.
The point is like, every single day you're texting me, hey.
Not like, hey would you like to go on a coffee,
would you like to meet up, nothing.
Just hey.
So at some point, I'm just asking because this happens
like a lot these days.
I don't know what's the text messaging business now,
but it becomes so confusing, I just don't respond anymore.
So why do men just take the time to text, hey,
to a woman like every single day?
- Because they've gotten away with it before.
You know, they go hey, and some woman goes,
hey how you doin'?
And then they engage.
You don't have to do this.
You really don't.
You mind if I ask how old you are?
- Oh, I'm 37.
- 37?
Yeah.
- Yeah, I look like 16, but yeah.
- No, I mean you look a lot younger than that,
but let me explain something to you.
Why y'all put up with this?
You're in your thirties.
What the hell you texting for?
Excuse me, I do verbal communication.
Click.
(laughter)
Text him back, I do verbal communication
to get to know who people really are.
Send.
That's it.
A guy texting you hey, you don't gotta justify that,
you ain't gotta respond to that, man.
A man is supposed to talk to a woman.
A man is supposed to have a conversation with a woman.
You can't learn a guy through texting.
At one point, you gotta be too old for this.
You have to be too old for this.
My wife and I text during the day, and there will be
one or two exchanges, and then we got to get on the phone.
Because my wife, she'll send one of them faces.
(laughter)
I don't know what the hell they mean, you know, look.
(laughter)
I go, baby, what?
(applause)
You know, I don't even know what the hands mean.
(audience chatter)
What is you praying for?
I just said I ain't gonna get off 'til eight.
(laughter)
But hell, I wish I could get off at four.
So you know, we stop.
You don't have to tolerate it.
And men do it because they're getting away with it nowadays.
And the reason they're getting away with it
is because women are accepting it.
The moment that women say, I only do verbal communication,
thank you, if he wants to talk to you, he'll call you.
- But that's exactly what I do.
I literally just don't answer anymore but I don't understand
how a person would continuously text me every day
after a week if I literally don't answer anything.
Because I don't answer to, hey.
- He's just throwin' bait in the water.
You know when you deep sea fish,
they have this thing called chumming.
Chumming is in a bucket.
It's a pail of cut-up pieces of fish and blood.
And they throw it in the water
and it draws fish to the boat.
All he doing is throwing chumming in the water.
He just throwing it in the water.
Somebody bite.
You know how many people he texting hey to?
Hey!
He just throw it out like, hey!
He just throwing that line.
He waiting on somebody to bite.
You don't bite, he got another hey for you tomorrow.
You don't like hey, h-ola.
(laughter)
- [Audience Member] Hola.
- What is it?
- [Audience Members] Hola.
- No, I'm talking about h-o-l-a.
- [Audience Members] It's hola.
- The h is silent.
Hola?
- [Audience Member] Hola.
(laughter)
- Dog, I been saying h-ola my whole life.
H-ola!
(laughter)
Hey, we'll be right back!