(sirens)
(gunshots)
(explosion)
- Ugh, I'm so bored.
- I'm sorry this job isn't exciting enough for you.
- It's not just the job.
It's this whole stinking city.
Nothing exciting ever happens here.
- Mm didn't some guy blow up
the Santo Perro Ferris Wheel today with a fighter jet.
- Yeah, but someone else blew it up last month
with a rocket launcher.
So how different is it really?
- Mm that's fair.
- Hey, is this the Lock-in Load with the shooting range?
- No, those are in Under Flats in Bellevue Hill.
- Oh crap, crap. Crap and piss.
- Trying to write your name?
- Yeah I think I got it this time.
Harry, hey and look I got your name too.
Girl who ate the urinal cake.
- Piss off. - Ow.
- Why don't you spell Ralph's name?
- I don't know.
He hasn't really been talking since we got robbed last week.
Yo Ralph, you good?
(flies buzzing)
- Ugh, man we really got to take him to a hospital.
- How? I don't make that kind of money, do you?
- Hell no, guess we keep hoping he gets better
and that no more violent psychos come in here.
- Yes, hello, yes. Can somebody help me already?
- Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
- Ugh. Welcome to Lock-in Load
where we've been helping protect your rights
for over 40 years.
How may I pledge allegiance to you today?
- I um, I need a sniper rifle.
- Of course. Is this for hunting purposes?
Self-defense purposes?
- Preemptive self-defense.
- Buddy. Listen, this is Lock-in Load.
If you tell us you're going to kill someone
with it, we're going to still sell it to you.
- Thank God. Yes. Yes.
He deserves to die so much.
- I bet. Let me show you some of the options we have.
(cash register ringing)
- Thanks so much you guys.
Can I try this out in your shooting range?
- No, those are the Lock-in Loads
in Under Flats in Bellevue Hill.
- Ugh crap, crap, crap, and piss.
- Man, how long did that sale take?
- Two minutes
- Ugh, so long.
- I know, this job would be great
if it wasn't for the [beep] customers.
- Oh, hey. Did that girl ever call you back?
- Nope, she never did.
- What, I thought you guys had a great time.
- We did. I followed all your suggestions.
We went to dinner, caught movie,
hijacked a blimp, drove it over the ocean
until we hit the invisible wall.
Crash into to the ocean.
Watch a shark materialize out of nowhere
and kill us in one bite.
Then walked out in the hospital a few hours later
like nothing happened.
- Did you pay for the meal?
- I paid for everything.
Dinner, movie, her $5,000 hospital bill.
That's why I can't chip in for Ralph.
(flies buzzing)
- That is such bullshit man, I'm so sorry.
Some of the people in this town
just have no value for fellow man.
- You gotta help me.
I need a gun and body armor.
As soon as you possibly
- Welcome to Lock-in Load where we've been helping protect
your rights for over 40 years,
how may we pledge allegiance to you today?
- I need body armor now
I accidentally nudged a cop car and now you know
- There he is. Fire.
(gunshots)
(screaming)
- Hey, by the way, I was thinking,
have you ever seen a baby?
- What, like a Cuban baby?
- Yeah, like a toddler or child even.
- No, I don't think so actually.
- Yeah me neither. Isn't that crazy?
It's like everyone that lives here just showed up
at the airport sometime after their 18th birthday.
I don't think there are any schools here, either.
- Schools. Those are the, what you call it?
The big grassy fields with water and flags.
- Nope, those are golf courses.
We've got one of those, but no schools
for our non-existent children to get an education.
- More golf courses than schools eh?
That gives me an idea.
- You don't make money by building a school.
- Ugh. Nevermind then.
- Alright. Time to walk out of here like nothing happened.
- Oh that is so rude.
Are they really going to do us like that?
- Ugh. Customer is always right I guess.
At least it's nothing a mop won't fix.
Hey Ralph. Hello, help.
(flies buzzing)
Thanks man. I knew I could count on you.
(wall shattering)
- Oh, come on.
- Will, no. I am too late.
We must get you back to hospital to have you patched up
like nothing happened, for a price of $5,000.
- Welp, hope you're not bored anymore.
- [Mr. Stobly] Harry, Laura.
Was that a tank I just heard blowing up my store
and rolling in through the front door?
- Yes Mr. Stobly.
- Well, you know our policy, offer him a 50% discount.
- 50%? Time for me to buy Bullock shotgun.
But first, can I test out at that your shooting range?
- Those are the Lock-in Loads
in Under Flats in Bellevue Hill.
- Aw, crap, crap. Crap and pee.