(Swishy Swishy Fist Fist)
Hey you!
My name is Thomas ’TomSka' Ridgewell and I’ve been making videos on the Internet for over 12 years...
URGH! That’s a really long time.
(12 Years of Videos)
Now while the best way to succeed at something is to enjoy doing it and do it a lot it never
hurts to get some free advice.
So, if you’re hoping to make videos on these here Internets then here’s everything I
think you need to know to get started and not... Die.
(Takes a deep breath)
PART ONE! WATCH AND LEARN...
AND STEAL!
We are what we eat and everything we make is the result of everything that has inspired
us so before diving into the world of stuff-making you need to watch a lot of stuff.
Discover what excites and inspires you and let it shape you as a creative. The more you
consume, the sooner you’ll develop the big mess known as "your own style".
Foot note! It’s also important that you don’t just watch good stuff.
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" so watch poorly made and unsuccessful
content and try to understand why it didn't work. Learn from other people’s mistakes.
PART TWO! WHO ARE YOU?!
Now the question of who you want to be and what you want to do is entirely up to you.
Makeup, music, vlogging, gaming, reviews, news, how to’s, comedy, cartoons, film making,
baking, fun facts, visual effects or... Sex?
No! Not sex! That's bad... Illegal probably... You're 12.
But before you can even begin making and uploading videos you need a name for yourself. "A brand"
if you want to talk like a douche.
Sadly the Internet has been around long enough though that almost every possible username
you could come up with has already been taken...
Including your own name... Jim Stevens.
(Jim) Oh, what? That sucks man... Come on...
Try making a list of your favourite words and things and smash them together until you
hopefully find something unique and not stolen by someone else already...
However! It’s still not that simple. A good username needs to be memorable and easy to
share. So before you go rushing to register your new username on every website imaginable
you need to make sure it makes sense to more than just you.
I personally recommend ’The IRL Test’.
Which is basically where If you can tell your username to someone in real life and more often than not they can
write it down correctly then it’s probably good enough...
Foot note! Don’t put numbers in your username you stupid fu-
PART THREE! SECONDARY CHANNEL!!
Going from zero to hero...
Why would I say that?
...Means trying a lot of new things and you’re not necessarily going to want everything you
make to be a representation of you and your "brand".
That’s why it’s a good idea to have a secondary YouTube channel. Somewhere to post
updates, try new things and make mistakes on...
So many mistakes...
(Canadians on a Plane)
PART FOUR! GETTING STARTED!!
Getting started and making your first videos can be scary...
But I think it’s important that you hear this...
You suck. You do. You’re awful and you’re going to be awful for a long time.
(Baby Crying) Oh, no, stop crying. Oh come on! NO!
You see, you don’t get good until you’ve made something that’s kind of okay; and
you don’t make something that’s kind of okay until you’ve made a lot of things that really suck.
What i'm trying to say is that you shouldn’t be afraid or held back by your own suckiness.
Embrace it; challenge it; prove it wrong; and above all never give up.
(American National Anthem)
Warm fuzzy feelings aside, though, you’re going to need some equipment. It’s pointless
for me to recommend a good camera or microphone as technology is constantly evolving but I can tell you this:
1) Sound is more important than visuals. Peoples ears are a lot more easily offended than their
eyes so consider getting a good microphone first and foremost.
Hey! (Mouth noises)
2) You don’t need to bankrupt yourself to get started. If you’ve got what it takes
you’ll be able to afford better equipment over time.
3) Creativity is kind of like cooking. I know it sounds stupid but bear with me.
(Bear growl)
Before you complain that you don’t have the friends or the resources
to get started; look around at the ingredients you have available to you. Everything from
your friends and family’s places of work to the objects laying around your house can
be used to create something awesome. Get cooking! Oh... I'm so pretentious.
Side note! If you ever turn your camera sideways to "fit the whole person in"
I’ll kill you and your entire family...
PART FIVE! ORIGINALITY!! AND THE THREE ABILITIES!!!
When it comes to the stuff that’s actually in your videos there’s a few things you
things that you may want to take into consideration to stand out and avoid drowning in the endless
sea of people who are way, way cooler than you.
1) Rewatchability! The thing that makes people want to come back for more and watch your
videos over and over. Keeping the pace snappy and cutting the unnecessary fat such as title
or credit sequences helps a lot.
2) Quotability! Silly voices and catchphrases are an upsettingly effective way of getting
yourself stuck in someones head. Also - and I hate that I’m saying this - but being
relatable and making content relevant to people’s everyday lives will keep you popping up in
their minds throughout the day.
3) Shareability! Memorable thumbnails, titles and tags will make your videos easier to find
but I will get onto that in a moment.
Finally - and most importantly - originality is key. Offering people something new and
exciting will always help. If you’ve watched enough stuff like I told you to you’ll have
your own style and being "original" won’t be too hard. What is originality though?
Well in my opinion it’s taking inspiration from so many different things that you can
no longer identify one single source. Creativity! It's basically just a lot of stealing...
(Police Siren)
PART 6! FIRST IMPRESSIONS!!
People say "don’t judge a book by it’s cover" but they’re still going to. Getting
noticed in the vast terrifying abyss of YouTube is hard enough as it is so it doesn't really hurt to make yourself
stand out. The first impression someone is going to have of your video is going to look a little like this...
In a split second everything from the title, thumbnail, view count and video length is
going to affect whether or not someone is going to make the decision to watch what you make so...
Make it count!
When it comes to picking a title there’s plenty of options to choose from:
The Filename, The Descriptive, The Quotation, The Lie, The Clickbait, The Creative and The Gibberish.
Which title should you choose? Well, just imagine what people are going to be searching for.
Typically it’s either the most memorable line of the video or a description what actually
happens inside it. You don’t have to name it after those but do make sure you put that stuff in the tags!
As for thumbnails? Well, you’ve got a few options there too.
The Fortunate, The Unfortunate, The Manufactured and The Misleading.
A tastefully cropped thumbnail that’s actually representative of the video itself is usually a safe bet.
Or you could just... Yeah...
PART SEVEN! HERDING!!
It’s all well and good having an awesome video but once you’ve got someones attention
the mission then becomes keeping it. As I said before, trimming the unnecessary fat
from a video helps keep folk watching but once it’s over you get one chance at suggesting
what they do next. So again... Choose wisely. You can ask them to either:
1) Subscribe and stick around for more (annotation).
2) Watch another video from your channel (annotation).
3) Follow a link in the description to another website (Twitter, Facebook, etc)
In an ideal world you could ask people to do all 3 but... People are dumb. So very dumb.
PART EIGHT! MONEY!!!!
Making money off YouTube is entirely optional but if you’d like to make it your full time
job you’ll need to know how to pay the bills. There are 3 ways to do this:
1) Advertising! Those ads you see before, on and around YouTube videos? That’s what
keeps us afloat. A company gives YouTube a sack of money to display their ads next to
people’s videos and YouTube in turn gives some of that money to the creators. YAY!
2) Merchandise! Shirts, posters, wristbands and more. Got a funny catchphrase or a beautiful face?
People are gonna wanna put that on their bodies. Mmm.
3) Selling out! I mean... Brand sponsorships! How else are big brands gonna remind people
they exist without paying you to yell about ’em. I myself would never stoop so low.
(Montage)
Side note! Love doin’ that. ’Multi-Channel Networks’ are companies that take care of all the business
stuff and promise to make you more money once you sign your life away to them. Some are
good, some aren’t so good. Be very careful before signing any contacts.
Double side note! There’s no quicker way to screw up your
chances of making a living off YouTube than infringing copyright. Don’t steal music idiot!
PART NINE! GETTING NOTICED!!!
There are few better ways to grow as a creator than by collaborating with others.
It’s kinda like... Eating them and stealing their powers. Delicious.
Every skill and resource you lack, someone else has to offer and vice versa. If you need
music, someone out there will be happy for the exposure. If you’re a voice actor, someone’s
gonna need your sexy vocal tones. The best way to break the ice with a creator you want
to work with is to offer them whatever they lack. Trust me, it works.
A great way to build a relationship with another creator is to flirt creatively. Covering their
songs, parodying their style, making references to them in your videos.
Don’t send them naked photos though, that never ends well. Never.
PART TEN! SURVIVAL!!!
Well, congratulations! You are now equipped with all the knowledge you need to go forth and...
Waste people’s time.
However, there’s one last thing I need to tell you before I set you free...
Don’t be a dick. Be kind to your audience because they’re the ones that ultimately make your
job possible... and be respectful of the other creators around you because you never know
if you’re going to hurt someones feelings or make a powerful enemy. There are plenty
of dicks waiting out there to tear you down for next to no reason. Don’t be one of them.
Good luck, my friends and welcome to YouTube.
TomSka out!
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