There's a famous saying that says, "Without vision, the people perish." And I
believe that. Don't we all need to know where we're going? And how we're going to
get there? I think we do. So, this video is all about how to write a family vision
statement.
A friend of mine was sharing her family vision statement with me the other day.
And I was really impressed that she went through the effort to put this vision
statement together. But I couldn't help but wonder if it couldn't even be more
effective. What I'd like to talk about is family vision statements versus family
mission statements. What are the difference between those 2 things? And
what is going to best fit the needs of your family? And then of course we'll
talk about how to write a great statement. So, here's the difference:
Vision statements Express what a family wants to be in the future. But mission
statements express what the family is doing right now to accomplish their
goals for the future. Do you see the difference between that? So, one says, "This
is who we want to be." And the other one says, "This is who we are" in order to
accomplish who we want to be. In order for a family or a business or anyone to
make a good statement for themselves, for the future or for the present, they need
to get a picture of who they're truly becoming. So, that's step number 1. What
is a family vision story for your family? Who are you
becoming? In my book, Parenting: A House United, I talk about creating a 20-year
vision for the future. Who is your family going to be 20 years from now? When you
think of your family at your favorite holiday gathering 20 years in the future,
who's going to be there. Are there going to be new people there? Perhaps? Obviously, we
can't control everything. But potentially, there could be. What would your family be
doing during this time? What would the conversation be like at this time? What
would the relationships be like at this time? What food are you going to eat that
day? Do you realize that every time you have that holiday, whatever it is. For us,
it's Christmas Eve. Every time we have Christmas Eve
together as a family, that's practice for that Christmas Eve
plan that we created many years ago. Now, you don't have to just do 20 years. If
your children are a little bit older, you could also plan 10 years into the future.
But make a picture 10 years into the future and give it as many details as
you can to get that feeling from that picture of who you really are to each
other. What your bond is like. In my family vision story, my husband and I are
holding hands under the dinner table. As we're talking with our children about
how they're progressing in their life's missions and what great books that we've
read. And fascinating world topics that we want to discuss. Because those are the
types of things that our family does regularly. That's the type of environment
and discussion environment we wanted to have as a family all the way along. So, we
decided to put those things in our family vision so that they would become
a reality in our future. Once you have a family vision story, you can use it all
the time. You can talk to the children about it. You can practice for it every
Sunday afternoon. You can refer back to it when people seem like they're not
quite living like the feeling of that story says that you're going toward. It
pulls everybody back on track. And that family vision story gives everybody a
reason to care about making a change in who they are in their relationships with
each other. It unites the hearts together so that people can also be united in the
way that you communicate and solve problems as a group. I suggest after
having a family vision story that you create a family mission statement. You
can create a family vision statement if you'd like to. Our family decided just to
do a mission statement. The creation of each of these statements is similar.
Almost identical. But the one difference is that when you create a mission
statement, you're focusing on: Right now, what are we going to do? So, the vision story
is the WHY. Why do we care about making changes in this family? Or this business?
Or for myself? Or whatever type of a vision story you're creating. But
we'll just say family. Why would we care about making this change for the family
that we're going to make? And then the mission statement tells us how we're
going to do it on a daily basis. So, if you want a vision statement then you're
going to have a statement that just describes that picture in the future. If
you have a mission statement, you're going to describe how you're acting
right now in preparation for that vision or picture in the future. So, let's talk
about how to make a great either mission or vision statement. First, the focus of
the statement needs to be clear. The focus is for the family group. So,
everyone needs to be included in the thought process behind the statement.
That doesn't mean everyone has to write out each word. But everybody needs to be
included in putting the ideas together. What I usually tell parents to do is to
jot down some of their ideas. Maybe 10 of their words that they feel like they
want to exemplify as a family. So, if parents want to be... Let's say, "We're going to
be loving, we're going to be supportive, we're going to focus on education", maybe.
"We're going to be spiritual." You know, people have different things that they feel
like are the most valuable to them. So, if parents jot down their top 10 each of
them individually and then they get together with their list of their top
10 and they start seeing where there's similarities where there's differences
and see if they can incorporate those ideas into a shared statement. So, this
would be your starter statement, okay? This is what you feel like you're
doing in the minute. And keep that focused clear if you're going to be
doing a mission statement versus a vision statement with you which is just
a statement of where you're going. But you could still use 10 words to
describe where you're going. They would just come out in a different tense,
probably. So, then the couple will bring that statement. Let's say it's a mission
statement. They bring it to the family. And before they share it with the family,
they say to the family, "What do you think our family should do each day? How should
we behave with each other? How should we communicate with each other? How should
we solve problems so that we can become this family that we have a vision of for
the future?" Which everybody would have already heard about by then. And then the
children give words. They're like, "Give us words. Let's make a list." So, then the
parent writes down a list of words. So, maybe "We're going to be kind. We're going to
serve each other. We're going to whatever these things are that that we are going
to do to become that family." So, you get the input from the children. Then the
parents can take that and compared to what they already thought was the
perfect focus or how to for the family. And then they can combine those ideas if
there were additional ones that came in though they didn't already have. Or if it
looks like the children thought of pretty much everything that they already
thought of. Then they can say that is perfect. Those are exactly the same ideas
that me and your mother thought of. And so, here is a mission statement that we
are going to learn as a family. We want to share this with you. So, you would share
it with them at that point. Now, if they come up with some new ideas and you feel
like you need to go and wordsmith that document a little bit more, then I would
say do it. Now, our family because it's a mission statement, we use words that are
in the present tense. So, we say, "We, the Peck family will love support and be
united with one another. We are dedicated to building an atmosphere of trust, faith
and learning in our home. We spread love and happiness to others. We know that we
are children of God and endeavor to return to his presence as an eternal
family. We have patience and wisdom in our relationships.
Heavenly Father guides and loves each of us so that we can fulfill our life's
emissions." That's our mission statement. It's our how we're going to
get to become that family of that vision story that recreated for that Christmas
Eve party that originally was 20 years in the future. And we say it every
day. Literally every day. We're religious people so we have a prayer every day as
a family and then we immediately say that mission statement. We remind
ourselves who we are, what were to do each day to become that family we're
trying to become. And then we read our scriptures and we discuss and we read
stories. And this has been a part of our life for many, many years now.
It keeps us focused on how we are going to accomplish our family goals. Families
are put together for a reason. It's not an accident. We're all with each
other because we need each other to become the best versions of ourselves.
And somebody knows that. So, we've got to stay focused. If we don't have a focused,
we're going to get caught in our own selfishness. Family mission statements
and family vision stories are key pieces to creating a motivated, happy
self-governed home. I have more for you. There's another video following this one
called What Are Factors That Enhance Positive Parenting And Family
Relationships? This is going to take this conversation to the next level. So, click
that video and go learn more.