-We're here with Jane Fonda. And wow.
[ Cheers and applause ]
We're about to play a fun game called "Best, Worst, First."
Here we go!
♪ -Best, Worst, First ♪
-Now, here's how this works.
I will hit this button here,
which activates a random topic generator.
Okay? It'll land on a random prompt like
"best pickup line you ever used" or "worst lie you ever told."
Whatever it lands on, you have to say the first thing
that comes to your mind.
Are you ready for this?
-I hope so. [ Laughter ]
-Alright, here we go. First up -- Best.
-My first kiss. My first kiss.
I was -- I was in summer stock in Hyannis Port, Maine,
and I had a crush on the stage manager,
whose name was James Franciscus.
The audience is too young to know who that was.
He became the star of "Mr. Novak" on TV.
He was so handsome.
And he walked me out to the end of a pier and he kissed me.
-Wow. -And --
-End of a pier.
-The stars began to whirl.
And the pier began to shake,
and my knees gave way and I slid down to a pile at his feet.
-Wow! [ Laughter ]
-I've never had a kiss like that ever since.
-Holy moly, I've never heard a story like that.
Oh, my God. I feel like I had my first kiss.
[ Cheers and applause ] Whoo!
-It was like Hemingway, you know?
-Yeah. -In "The Sun Also Rises."
The Earth shook. -Oh, my God!
[ Laughter ] Oh, my God!
We get it! We get it! We get it! We get it!
God! [ Laughter ]
I want to make sure my wife is not watching tonight.
Okay, here we go.
Next round, it's time for Worst.
Here we go. Let's see. Worst what?
Worst, worst, worst.
Worst. Hold on.
Worst uninvited guest. Worst uninvited guest.
-Okay, I got one. I got one.
This is the worst uninvited guest into my bedroom.
-Oh! [ Laughter ]
-My grandson was about three months old.
I was in a very small cabin in New Mexico
on a ranch that I had, and his crib was in the corner.
And I was in bed, and I heard this weird noise,
like the rattling of a door.
And I got up and I went into the living room,
and I turned around, and my Golden Retriever
came running out whelping and yelling.
I'm like, "What's this?" And I go running in.
Whoo! There's a bear! [ Audience gasps ]
Right in the middle of my small bedroom,
heading right for my grandson's crib!
-No. -But I knew what to do.
-You kissed him. [ Laughter ]
-I opened my bathrobe and I went...
[ Screams ] [ Laughter ]
-Come on! [ Applause ]
-And this is what happened.
The bear urinated on my antique rug.
[ Laughter ]
And then turned around and sat down.
I roared again, and it went out to the door
and it sat down on -- there's the hole in the screen door
that it came through.
And I pushed it out and slammed the glass door.
-That's right. That's exactly what you do.
[ Applause ] -That's what you do.
-It got you on the -- Oh, my gosh, that must have been scary.
Alright, last round. It's time for First...
And it's going to be the first...
Wait. Ooh.
First Zoom. -Let's see.
The first in-person rally that we did, when Fire Drill Fridays
had to move to virtual because of the pandemic,
and we were really worried because we didn't know
whether people would continue, you know, to join us.
And so we were really worried.
And so we had our first rally, and it --
it crashed the Internet.
Turned out so many people joined that we broke the Internet
and the Zoom completely crashed.
-Wow! [ Cheers and applause ]
These are fantastic!
Jane Fonda, you are unbelievable.
Jane Fonda!