( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WE'RE HERE WITH BILLY BOYD AND DOMINIC MONAGHAN.
GENTLEMEN, YOUR PODCAST, WHICH IS "THE FRIENDSHIP ONION."
>YOU'RE SO CLOSE, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: "THE FRIENDSHIP ONION."
MAY I DO YOUR PODCAST?
>> STEPHEN, WE WOULD LOVE THAT.
>> Stephen: I WOULD LOVE TO DO YOUR PODCAST.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A VACATION TO ME.
>> PLEASE -- >> Stephen: THE ONE THING I'M
AFRAID OF-- AND I'VE BEEN TOLD THAT YOU'VE GOT SOME QUESTIONS
TONIGHT TO POSSIBLY STUMP ME ABOUT COLLETON "LORD OF THE COLT
RINGS."
LET ME SEE IF I WANT TO DO YOUR PODCAST RIGHT NOW.
>> STEPHEN WE HAVE TWO QUESTIONS WHICH WE WILL ASK YOU, BUT TO
PUT AN ADDED EXTRA PRESSURE ON YOU, THERE IS A PRIZE, AND I
WOULD THINK-- I WOULD SAY THE PRIZE IS PROBABLY PRICELESS,
WOULDN'T YOU?
>> THE PRIZE IS INCREDIBLE, STEPHEN.
>> IT'S IN MY-- IT'S MY POCKET, STEPHEN.
AND WE WILL-- WE WILL KEEP IS SECRET.
WE WILL KEEP IS SAFE.
>> IN YOUR POCKET.
>> IN MY POCKET.
UNLESS YOU GET BOTH QUESTIONS RIGHT.
>> Stephen: OKAY, SO, OKAY.
>> HERE WE GO.
>> Stephen: HIT ME.
>> QUESTION NUMBER ONE, IT'S A TWO-PARTER AND I WANT BOTH
ANSWERS.
OKAY.
READY, STEPHEN, HERE WE GO.
>> Stephen: I'M ACTUALLY NERVOUS, GO AHEAD
( CLEARS THROAT ) >> WHO IS SHELOK'S MOTHER, AND
HOW DID SHE DIE.
>> Stephen: ARE THOSE BOTH QUESTIONS?
>> THAT'S MY QUESTION AND-- >>
>> Stephen: SHELOVDIED BY CONSUMING HERSELF IN HER OWN
WEBS OF DARKNESS.
>> HE'S GOT IT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
STEPHEN!
>> Stephen: IT'S ALL ON YOU NOW.
OH, BOY.
>> HERE WE GO.
>> VERY IMPRESSIVE.
>> AS YOU KNOW, MERRY AND PIPPIN MEET TREE BEARD.
>> Stephen: YES.
>> HE IS AN ENT.
>> Stephen: YES.
>> THE ENTS HAVE A MEETING WITH MARY AND PIPPIN.
>> Stephen: YES.
>> WHICH CALLED AN AN ANT MOOT.
>> Stephen: I'M FAMILIAR.
>> THEY HAVE THIS IN FEIN GONE FOREST, BUT WHERE IN FEIN
GREENFOREST.
>> WAIT A SECOND.
I THINK HE'S GOOSING UP?
>> NO, HE'S NOT.
>> WHERE IS...
>> THE ANT MOOT HELD?
OH!
>> Stephen: QUIET, PLEASE, QUIET.
>> PRICELESS PRIZE!
( LAUGHTER )
IT IS...
>> Audience: NEW JERSEY!
( LAUGHTER )
I DON'T KNOW THE NAME-- I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF IT.
>> ( GASPS )
ARE YOU-- >> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, STUMPED
BY PIPPIN.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS IT?
WHAT'S THE ANSWER, PIPPIN.
>> DERN DINGELL.
>> Stephen: DAMN IT!
WE'LL EDIT THAT OUT, RIGHT?
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING-- IS IT DERN DINGELL?
AND WE'LL EDIT THAT IN.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
YOU'RE ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE TO EVER STUMP ME.
IT'S A GREAT QUESTION.
>> I'M ACTUALLY-- I'M ACTUALLY SCARED THAT I GOT IT WRONG.
>> Stephen: NO, YOU GOT IT RIGHT.
IT RANG A BELL AS SOON AS YOU SAID IT.
>> SHOULD WE GIVE HIM THE PRIZE ANYWAY?
>> Stephen: WAIT, WAIT, HOW ABOUT THIS.
LET ME SETTLE IT.
I GET THE PRIZE IF YOU CAN ANSWER THIS QUESTION ABOUT MERRY
AND PIPPIN.
>> YOU US GETTING IT RIGHT MEANS YOU GET A PRIZE FROM US.
>> Stephen: IF I GET IT RIGHT AND YOU DON'T.
IF I GET THIS QUESTION RIGHT, BECAUSE I'M NOT ASKING THE
QUESTION.
THIS QUESTION HAS BEEN SENT IN TO US TODAY FROM PETER JACKSON.
JIM.
>> I WANT TO ACTUALLY ASK STEPHEN TO GET INVOLVED IN THIS
BECAUSE WE HAVE TO BASICALLY ANSWER THE QUESTION, WHO KNOWS
MERRY AND PIPPIN BETTER, MERRY AND PIPPIN OR STEPHEN COLBERT?
SO THIS IS BETTER GOING TO DECIDE THINGS.
NOW, THIS QUESTION IS A TWO-PART ANSWER.
I NEED TWO ANSWERS WITHIN THE SAME QUESTION.
SO LET ME ASK THE QUESTION FIRST, AND THEN YOU HAVE FIVE
SECONDS.
VERY LITTLE-KNOWN FACT THAT A HOBBIT INVENTED THE GAME OF
GOLF.
AND THAT MERRY-- AND I WANT TO KNOW, IS MERRY OR PIPPIN
DESCENDED DIRECTLY FROM THE HOBBIT WHO INVENTED GOLF, AND
WHAT THE IS IS THE NAME OF THE HOBBIT WHO INVENT VENTED GOLF.
>> Stephen: PIPPIN, AND HIS NAME IS BULL ROAR TOOK.
( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: DID YOU KNOW?
IS DID YOU KNOW?
>> I KNEW THAT IT WAS PIPPIN.
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHO-- WHO THE HOBBIT WAS THAT INVENTED GOLF.
>> Stephen: LET'S SEE IF I'M RIGHT.
>> OKAY, WRONG.
I'D BE SURPRISED IF STEPHEN GOT THAT RIGHT.
THE NAME OF THE HOBBIT WHO INVENTED GOLF WAS BULL ROARAC
TOOK.
BOTH MERRY AND PIPPIN ARE DESCENDED, DUE TO BRANDYBUCK
WITH EZMERLEDDA.
AND YOU'RE FIRST COUSINS.
YOU KNOW THAT, I'M SURE YOU DO.
ANYWAY, THAT'S-- I THINK I'LL DECLARE STEPHEN THE WINNER
ANYWAY, BECAUSE HE LIKES BEING THE WINNER.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
SORRY, SORRY.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU, PETER.
THANK YOU, PETER.
( APPLAUSE )
>> HE GOT IT.
>> IT FITZ IN MY POCKET.
ARE YOU READY, STEPHEN?
>> Stephen: SURE,.
>> YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE THIS.
>> Stephen: WAIT, I THINK I KNOW.
IF YOU SAID BOTH OF THEM, I THINK I KNOW WHAT IT IS.
>> A GENUINE PAIR OF MERRY EARS FROM THE MOVIE.
( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERING )
>> Stephen: ABSOLUTE PLEASURE.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, GENTLEMEN.
WHAT A JOY.
THEIR PODCAST IS "THE FRIENDSHIP ONION."
BILLY BOYD AND DOMINIC MONAGHAN, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH COMEDIAN ALI SULTAWN.
♪ ♪ ♪