When you've been burned by love over and over and over, it's hard to trust
your judgment. If you've never had a lasting relationship with a man where you could relax,
let down your guard, and know that he would accept you in full for the rest of your life,
why would you think that it would happen the next time or the time after that?
This fear is paralyzing and it keeps women like you from dating with joy and confidence. That's
why I'm excited about today's podcast, in which I'm going to share with you how
you can trust your feelings when it comes to dating once and for all. Stick around.
I'm Evan Marc Katz, dating coach for smart, strong,
successful women and your personal trainer for love. Welcome to the Love U podcast.
Keep listening to learn how you can listen to your heart and know when you're with the right
guy. When we're done, I'll let you know how you can apply to Love U to create
a passionate relationship that makes you feel safe, heard, and understood.
Story time. Last year, I had a client in Love U. Her name is Debbie who had a rough relationship
with men in general, including a painful divorce and a history of long distance. As a result,
she's had trouble trusting her judgment when it came to anything dating-related. Perhaps
you can relate to what it's like to not be able to trust your judgment, to not know if you're making
the right choice, to not trust that internal man picker of yours. Debbie is going through Love U.
She's going week by week. We unlock a new module each week. First month is confidence, meeting men,
dating, understanding men, relationships, and commitment. She's showing up on the group coaching
calls. You can see her confidence rising and swelling. She's really engaged in our call. She
always comes with thoughtful questions. I could feel a shift in her energy as she progresses.
One week towards the end of her Love U journey, Debbie suddenly has a boyfriend and she's on month
six commitment section of Love U. She's noticing how different the relationship feels and how it
feels like the kind of thing I described in the course. And then, Debbie says something that I'm
never going to forget and something that I want to share with you now, which is why we're doing
this podcast and video. She says, “I used to pay very close attention to who he is, how tall he is,
how educated he is, how he looks to my friends, how much money he makes, how similar we are in
our backgrounds and beliefs. Now that I found a guy, those things have gone out the window.
Now, the feeling I pay close attention to is — how am I when I'm with him? Do I like myself? Do
I feel good about how he treats me? Am I proud to talk about my relationship with my friends?
Would I want my daughter to be in a relationship like the one I have right now?”
I thought that was powerful because it was a series of the right questions, talking about
the kind of feelings you should have about your relationship to stay in that relationship. I might
do a lot of cerebral stuff. I mean, Love U has 280 videos that's like this massive library with
the answers to all your dating and relationship questions. And I'm proud of that. But I think
the other thing that I'm proud of is that it tells you to listen to your feelings. I know
you're smart. I know you're successful. That's why you're listening. That's why you're watching. But
have you been listening to your own feelings? Have you been asking these same questions that Debbie
asked herself? Would you want your daughter to be treated the way your once a week guy treats you?
Are you eager to tell all your friends about the man who has sex with you occasionally and
claims to Love U, but is mostly controlling and sometimes verbally abusive and critical?
I can draw up a perfect man for you on paper. Hand him to you, but that paper,
as you know it, doesn't mean anything. Relationships are about feelings. If
you're going to pay attention to anything when it comes to dating and relationships,
don't let it be his height, his weight, his age, his education or his income.
Let it be how you feel about him and more importantly, yourself
when he's not around. How does he make you feel? Safe, heard and understood is pretty much the only
answer that we will accept. And that tells a far more accurate story as to whether he's a keeper
than how he looks on paper compared to other men that you've dated. That's it. Short, sweet.
My name's Evan Marc Katz, thank you for tuning into the Love U
podcast for more episodes like this on YouTube. Click on the subscribe button
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More reviews equal more awareness and the Love You podcast and more loved in the world.
If you want to find love right now and you're committed to making healthier choices with men
so you could have that easier relationship that makes you feel safe, look for the link below and
apply for coaching with me inside Love U. Thank you so much. I'll talk to you soon.