SpongeBob SquarePants is one of the most successful children's cartoons of all
time thanks to its fun and recognizable cast the series has generated 13 billion
dollars for nickelodeon and merchandising revenue alone but you know
what they say one man's innocent children's cartoon is another Internet
users fan theory fodder and the internet doesn't really do innocent so here are
the dark SpongeBob SquarePants theories that change everything karate is a
metaphor for sex well there's no point beating around the
bush so to speak why would reddit user master lulz decide that karate on a kids
show was an elaborate analogy for sex let's look at the facts
this theory focuses on season 1 episode 14 be titled karate choppers at the
start of the episode sandy surprises spongebob with some
karate when he gets home later that night spongebob calls up sandy for some
late-night karate but she blows him off the to continue a series of varied and
spicy karate encounters and before long it's all that they can think about
SpongeBob's mind is so occupied with karate that he can't even concentrate at
work to save his career they agreed to abstain from karate and desperately try
to distract themselves with other things
despite their best efforts evidence of their mutual karate fixation keeps
bubbling up to the surface and before long they're innocent picnic turns into
a wild karate frenzy now what could that possibly have to do with sex seriously
though it's not that far-fetched the writers have gone on record saying that
some stories for the cartoon are based on their real-life experiences it's not
beyond the realms of possibility that they extracted the comedic element of a
passionate affair and twisted it into the plot for an episode and compared to
some of the other theories that we have let's just say that the weirdo meter
it's not even switched on yet the seven main characters represent the seven
deadly sins the best thing about this theory is it's totally confirmed
that's right one of the show's writers mentions it in the season 1 DVD audio
commentary however they don't cover all the specifics so let's go through a
quick rundown of the theories on who's what greed without a doubt mr. Krabs
this one pretty much explains itself is there anything mr. Krabs wouldn't do for
a quick buck more on that later donate to the Children's Fund
why would children ever done for me sloth
Patrick sloth is a pretty broad Church of sin covering everything from laziness
to a lack of compassion for others and in the case of Patrick it seems like
more of the former than the latter maybe Patrick gets a hard rap here he's not a
bad guy then again he's hardly an overachiever Envy plankton yeah need we
say more wrath definitely Squidward he's a really
angry guy after all
pride sandy has a scientist and generally one of the more accomplished
residents of Bikini Bottom sandy does have a lot to offer she's well-traveled
smart and generally kind but her achievements can go to her head at times
gluttony so there's a bit of debate on this one some people think that Patrick
is the glutton while Gary is the sloth but Gary's main motivation in life does
seem to be food when spongebob gets amnesia and skips town what does Gary do
but Gorge himself to obesity not that any of our pets would do anything
different lust whatever you make of the karate lots of people are throwing
spongebob into the ring for this one they cite a definition of lust as
excessive love for everything
it certainly gets him into trouble but deadly sin we're not so sure one
possibility for lust is pearl teenage boys of bikini bottom
beware well it's cool to have a theory like this confirmed it's not exactly a
dramatic revelation comedic archetypes like these have been around since well
since comedy began basically it's good to be good but it's funny to be bad the
main characters are Marxist symbols okay first off we're not trying to be
political there's enough of that in the current year but what we're saying is I
don't like chemicals in the water that turn the fish into communists anyway
things get a little weird here for those with a political inclination we
recommend reading the post from reddit user bend over and spread it basically
the theory suggests that you've got mr. Krabs as the archetype exploitative
business owner profiting from the misery and hard labor of others sounds pretty
accurate so far flutes on the way you got money right Squidward is the
class-conscious worker disgruntled by his shoddy lot in life
he organizes against mr. Krabs with a strike but ultimately SpongeBob's the
ignorant unconscious proletariat worker plays into the hand of the oppressor the
theory even extends to the impact of science in Bikini Bottom plankton and
Sandy the two great scientific minds in the show have drastically different
philosophies when it comes to their work while plankton is looking for corporate
domination sandy has developed her own personal utopia and uses technology to
help others could sandy really be representing the possibility of fully
automated luxury communism where humans are free to lead a life of leisure while
machines take care of the work what do you think Patrick
well let's be real it's a kids show we're probably overthinking it
the show's characters and names are all related to private parts maybe the
internet was a mistake after all let's take a look at the evidence here the
show definitely enjoys some double entendre hell it's set in a town called
Bikini Bottom there is a character named Sandy Cheeks but this theory takes
things a little further what if there was actually a bikini bottom that
floated down to the seabed and stuck to that skimpy swimwear was an absorbent
feminine hygiene product a tampon tampon Bob Squarepants that's what this theory
suggests and yes once again the internet was a mistake but fortunately it gets
worse a condition known as toxic shock syndrome caused by leaving a tampon in
for too long may give rise to populations of planktonic bacteria yep
you heard that correctly sorry plankton this whole theory is a rabbit hole that
just gets deeper and deeper the more you read about it Gary
well what would be the natural companion to a tampon and what animal normally
says meow right and what's another name for that animal bingo you'll never hear
the words Krusty Krab the same way again mr. Krabs is a cannibal while plankton
has never succeeded in getting his hands on the Krabby Patty secret formula the
internet seems to think they've worked it out there isn't exactly a steady
supply of cattle on the seabed so it stands the reason the patties must be
coming from some form of seafood take a look at the menu
kelp rings kelpshake seafoam soda coral bits krabby patty it's been hiding in
plain sight the whole time Krabby Patties use real crab meat the evidence
behind this one stacks up when you realize mr. Krabs and his mom are the
only crabs in town on top of that the Krusty Krab is literally shaped like a
crab trap complete with the netting on the sides
sure it could just be a cute idea from the show's animators to use a crab
related structure as the basis for mr. Krabs business but ask yourselves this
would mr. Krabs sell the meat of his own kind to make money yeah absolutely we're
talking about a character who's his own soul repeatedly let's face it
with mr. Krabs if it pays it plays not to mention his reaction to eating a
krabby patty so that's what I taste like yeah I'll just take a kelpshake to go
thanks mr. Krabs makes Krabby Patties out of whales convinced that mr. Krabs
is a cannibal plausible as it seems there's one or two things against it for
starters Nickelodeon categorically denied it on Instagram but come on they
could easily be working for the Krusty Krab PR machine assuming they are
telling the truth what if the real secret behind the krabby patty is even
darker reddit user walla walla rhubarb
theorizes an alternative backstory for mr. Krabs adopted daughter pearl
specifically that he found pearl close to the newly deceased carcass of her
mother and he's been using the meat to make Krabby Patties ever since
furthermore the only reason he's keeping pearl around is to fatten her up for
when her mother's meat finally runs out again we're talking about a guy who
according to the Spongebob wiki is guilty of at least 27 different crimes
including attempted murder grave robbery cruelty to animals and manslaughter he
even openly admits to not liking mammals
so why would he choose to adopt the whale in nature when a whale carcass
falls to the bottom of the ocean a feeding frenzy breaks out with all
manner of creatures taking their turn to suck and nah whatever nutrition they can
from the Fallen beast what would be more natural for a ruthless entrepreneur like
Eugene Herald Krabs than to monetize and profit from the opportunity whatever the
real truth is behind the krabby patty mr. Krabs is such a dark character we
can't help but think there's something sinister at work and finally yes it's
come to this Squidward's penis is on his face
Squidward's penis is on his face now you've seen it
you can never unsee it although we already mentioned the theory about
characters relating to private parts this one really stands up on its own
yeah
but that thing's gigantic weirdly enough oh the weirdo meter is
definitely working now the theory actually has some legs specifically
Squidward's legs notice how while some characters such as Patrick skip wearing
a shirt Squidward is the only one who doesn't wear pants also turns out that
squids penises are located near to their beaks then again where else is it going
to be on the end of a tentacle hanging off one of those squid flaps are they
wings huge shout-out to Reddit user hare and son for this theory groundbreaking
stuff we hope you get the help you need and those are our favorite dark
spongebob squarepants theories did we miss any have you got your own messed up
theory share it with everybody in the comment section below please remember to
like this video subscribe and hit that notification veil so you get
notifications whenever we upload but most importantly Squidward's penis is on
his face