I once worked for a client for a year in residential treatment
who would not talk in therapy and you know what?
she got better
if they won't talk, don't give up
there's a lot you can do to still be helpful work on yourself
don't force it and create
those opportunities for connection it the only tool
you have is a hammer every problem looks like a nail
so here's some suggestions other tools that could help
if they don't want to talk
Check to make sure that you a safe place for them
that you are creating an environment
where they feel comfortable talking work on yourself
go to therapy, educate yourself, etc.
find out their love language and show them love
regularly show them physical affection in an appropriate
way, sit with them, hug them, hold their hand
or squeeze their shoulders help them find words for their
emotions by using reflective listening
or if it's your child by using
other emotional intelligence activities
help them develop confidence and hope
through challenging activities and appropriate expectations
many people and often males don't have
words to work through their emotions
find another way I'm gonna give some examples here
that are pretty stereotypical so with kids it's through play
and stories and hugs and
roughhousing that they process emotions
with men it might be physical challenges like
boy scouts or high adventure with
girls it's social bonding and self care
shopping and spa
massages and hanging out with friends
Find something meaningful to them a cause they care about
and do some service in that area hard
physical labor where you can see a outcome
sometimes it just feels great to mow the lawn or
chop some wood or finish a project just sit with them
spend time in the same space, reading or knitting
or what ever invite them to do other things with you
go on an outing find out what hobbies and interests they have
and do that together or develop new hobbies together
invite them to just hang out with you
tell them they can come to your place to watch a show or do their homework
loneliness is the worst, so do what you can
to invite them to be with you consider
a certified sand tray or play therapist
they work with people on a deep level, but with out words
try to do the
occasional ridiculous or hilarious random thing with them
do something meaningful or uplifting with them, like service
a physical challenge, a 5K or
join some cause together shoot some hoops
spend quality time together that isn't about their depression
take them to the store with you or go fishing or eat a meal together
help them with something like yard work or a project
get outside nature can heal
music can heal it's inherently emotion
go to a church, a concert, or make a playlist
I even have a depressing play list that I use to connect
with clients sometimes
keep showing up, let them know you are thinking of them invest time
and energy in them even if they don't reciprocate
If your the parent of a teen it's not uncommon
for them to tell their parents little about their inner lives
see if you can create opportunities for them to interact with
a third party adult like a coach a teacher
or other person they look up to
for me this person was my crazy high school art teacher
Zan Burningham try expressive art projects
throw some paint, or throw some pots
do some expressive dance or just go to a zumba class
go to them, just go sit in their room
work on your stuff while
they do their thing to talking required
pump up the oxytocin that's the love hormone
so pet a furry animal hold a baby or play with kids
write them a nice note or an expressive letter
Invite them to write they could write you
about what's going on or send an email or a
text and even
the simple act of journaling has been shown to be
beneficial for mental health or make something for them a
sentimental gift or a batch of cookies
Now I know it's difficult when you care deeply about someone but they
don't want to talk about whats going on for them but hang in there just
keep connecting with them and let them know you are available for them
in what ever way works best for them
your probably making more difference than you realize
I'm excited to announce
my upcoming course called how to help
Powerful tools to help when some one you love struggles with mental health
I'll be including some videos her but the full course is on
Udemy.com and is going and is
going to include over forty instructional videos outlining specific ways
to help someone with depression anxiety
or other mental health concerns so
stay tuned to my channel I'll be posting more tidbits from the course
every week
and if you'd like to see the entire course it's on Udemy.com
It should be completed by December 2018
Thanks for watching and take care!